For
many years, like many people I lived my life failing to understand that inner
peace is a choice. I am not sure what I was thinking those days. Perhaps I
didn’t believe anyone could feel a lasting peace inside. I did know that my own
feelings of peace were always transitory.
There
were many ups and downs in my life, too many claims on my time and too many
difficult situations to be dealt with. I think I actually believed inner peace
could only be achieved by monks and saints, or anyone living a reclusive life
who didn’t have to deal with everyday struggles.
I
was stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how peace could be mine when there
was always something, some drama going on in my own life or the lives of those
I loved.
In
fact, it seemed to me that the whole world was filled with stuff, negative
stuff mostly, which I read about in the newspaper, saw on the television, or
heard from someone I knew.
It
was the kind of stuff that pulls at your emotions—the breaking news story of a
missing woman being found murdered, the tragedy of a child being killed by a
hit and run driver, the numbers of homeless people tripling, and a devastating
Tsunami killing thousands and paralyzing an entire country, etc.
Then
there were the stories closer to home— my father suffering from stroke and
eventually passing away soon after my son was born, my sister struggling with cancer and ultimately
succumbing, and my mother too was diagnosed with cancer and dying less than three months
later,—all tearing at my heart and leaving me hurt and grieving.
In
my own personal life too, my emotions dipped and peaked along with how much
control I felt I had over my own happiness. I literally felt like a puppet on a
string, and asked myself over and over again, “How can I feel a constant inner
peace in my heart and life, when my emotions see-saw up and down according to
what is happening in and around me?”
Looking
back I know I believed that my emotions were important. After all, wasn’t being
emotional an essential part of being alive? Emotions made me feel real and
allowed me to extend empathy to everyone else.
But
in the deepest part of myself, I did not feel good most of the time. I wished not to be so emotional. I wanted to be released from all the conflict in my
life—to not react to other people’s words and anger—to feel serenity in my
heart. It
was an almost desperate need to alter or to stop the negative cycle of events
which seemed to dominate my relationships and my life.
I
believe it was that intention which kept on surfacing in my mind and in my
heart that fueled my spiritual search and led me to discover a more peaceful
way to live, despite the conflict in my life.
I
know that as the months and years went on I became more determined to change
the way I was living.
It
was a few months ago—I cannot pinpoint exactly when it happened—when I
finally felt a peace inside that did not come and go along with my emotions or
the drama in my life. I know it was the culmination of making a lot of changes,
including:
Believing
I am loved
Understanding
that negative childhood imprinting leads to feeling unloved and having low
self-esteem, I looked for and found the truth about myself. It was not what I
had been led to believe was true!
Believing
we are loved comes with knowing who we are, not judging ourselves or others for
mistakes we make, and from daily meditation in which we feel the unconditional
love of something greater than ourselves.
Monitoring
and changing my thoughts
I
once believed I had no control over what I was thinking, because I never
considered the idea that thoughts can be changed! Then I started focusing on my
thoughts and realized much of what I was thinking did not reflect the way I
truly felt.
Just
paying by attention to them, we see that many thoughts are primarily fear-based
and judgmental.
And,
because they come and go unchallenged, most of us struggle through life
unconsciously accepting that we are our thoughts. We simply do not look at or
challenge them as they appear and disappear. By accepting them we give them
permission to shape our beliefs about ourselves and our lives.
Once
you start recognizing them, you can go about changing your thoughts. Through
observing how your thoughts differ from the way you really feel, you can choose
to place a different thought in your mind, which more accurately reflects the
way you feel.
Coming
from loving kindness and living from my higher self
By
noticing and appreciating other people’s kindness, we become aware how much it
really matters in daily living. In dealing with difficult telephone calls,
perhaps an angry person on the other end of the line, we can choose to be kind.
When
a friend asks us to help with something, we can decide on the kindest thing to
say or do.
If
someone asks for a donation for the umpteenth time, we can deal with the
request kindly. Obviously, there are times we cannot give whatever is being
asked of us; when we do not have the means or desire to agree to a certain
request. In these circumstances, saying no with kindness is the best choice.
Sometimes
kindly refusing to provide assistance is important in helping promote personal
growth in others and allows them to learn some important life lessons.
If
someone is gossiping about someone we know, we can be silently kind, refusing
to be drawn into the conversation. By choosing kindness, we allow positive
energy to flow from us to others and prevent negative energy from reaching us
or infusing situations. In this way we create and maintain a connection to our
higher selves. And, realize just how good it feels to be kind.
Bringing
the practice of acceptance into my daily life
Perhaps
the key to feeling real peace is being able to accept what is. Acceptance
simply means recognizing your ego’s voice and rejecting it. Knowing that the
only person we can change is ourselves enables us to do this.
As
soon as we start to think there is something not right, not the way it should
be, or we become judgmental about a situation or a person—their words or
behavior—we know we have moved away from accepting what is, by wanting to
control what is outside of us.
There
is a lot of negative energy and craziness in this world, but we can all learn
to live with inner peace.
If
your intention is strong and comes from the deepest part of you, it will
happen. Outwardly nothing changes; peace comes from making changes inside you.
It
begins and continues through becoming more aware of who you really are, knowing
you are loved, making changes in the way you think, practicing loving kindness,
and accepting what is.
As
serenity and unconditional love fill your heart, you will accept that you
cannot go back, and will not relinquish what you have now found—that peace that
you seem to have been searching for your whole life.
Finally,
you will come to this—deep inner peace inside you that endures, regardless of
what challenges life brings.
I just have to share a bit of what is taking
place in my life… I am sharing a video that I did last
week for a couple of reasons… based on what I wrote above… so you can understand the energy… and so you can see the incredible Light Orb that decided to rest
on my throat… How cool is that! Angels are all around us!!!
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