When
referring to Leadership, there is an inherent expectation of strength. In
regards to teams, the leader of the team is the one to provide the guidance and
the power when necessary. What about those times when it is not formal Leadership?
For example, a friend calls who is in crisis and needs help. You
are a friend, peer, and equal with this person; although at that moment, you
are subconsciously lifted into a position of leadership. How do you handle that
type of situation? This recently happened with me, so I am writing from a
personal perspective. A friend needed help, and I was the one she asked for
support. I did not think about it at that moment, but looking back, I am so
honored and humbled that she would think of me in that time of crisis. Her
comment was I would provide strength. My response was that I would not let her
down. (Why is it that I would not let her
down?) This scenario led me to think about sharing on the topic of
strength.
We
look for Leadership in not only our professional life but, we need it in our
personal lives as well. When we have the honor of being able to help and
support others, we are de-facto leaders in their lives, which is not a
responsibility to be taken lightly, although it is different than being a team
leader. Leadership in this context has to be much more influential and subtle. The
truth is, people can and will do what they choose to do.
This
is a big point – while I am going to be the solid, dependable, constant friend,
I cannot take on her burden for her; unfortunately, it is hers to handle. (Can we change this word 'unfortunate' to
'fortunate'? After all, here is an opportunity for my friend to grow and learn
from adversity. Why deprive her of a valuable life lesson?) I think we try
to assume too much during some of these situations, which can lead to disaster
for all parties. We, as leaders in others’ lives, especially during crisis
times, can only provide advice and support to help our friends walk down their
own path in life. In my opinion, part of being in a friendship is our
willingness to be there as that support and provide that strength for others
when they cannot do it themselves.
I
would like to hear your thoughts on some of the questions in italics that were listed above in parenthesis.
Please join me tomorrow, when I'll post my additional analysis on this.
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