It
is clear, the object is to be of help when called upon, be it a professional or
personal nature. As in the case of personal, there are often times when a
friend calls for help and the help comes in the form of silence and simply
standing by the friend rather than any particular action. In this way the life
lesson is very much that of the person in need, except, they also have the love
of a friend standing next to them, in support of whatever the choice becomes.
My
statement earlier that I did not want to let my friend down pertained more to a
need to the importance of that relationship, as clearly we both treasured it. I
wanted to convey that our friendship means a lot to me. Also I wanted to let
her know that she could count on my strength, in whatever form it may take.
Sometimes it has been a silent presence, just holding her hand and other times
it is throwing a mirror up to her face (metaphorically speaking), showing her
the harsh reality of life. I would not abandon her in her time of need.
In
my view, however, all we can really do for someone in need is evaluate the best
course of action, take it with dedication and commitment even if it is in
silent support no matter who makes the ultimate decision or what comes out of it.
At the core of this is then trust and the trust between real friends is indeed
mighty.
Secondly,
about this being a life lesson and an opportunity for her to grow... In fact,
we have now reached the ‘tough love’ phase where I am kicking her butt to get
in gear and start living again instead of just surviving. She needs this in
order to be strong and truly live again. I can see her pain and suffering today
though and that is tough to watch. I have gone through what I termed ‘a living
nightmare’, and I would have gladly avoided the experience at the time even if
it meant losing out on the life lessons learned. Using the term unfortunately
just means she has to do it, and I can’t lie to her and tell her it will be
easy. Sometimes life is just hard and that is the unfortunate part. There will
come a time, probably a few years from now, where she will look back and know
she grew and became a stronger person because of her crisis, but that day is
not today.
I
think, a dialogue like this is very valuable for us all to learn and grow
ourselves.
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