Falling Out Of Love With My Drama – Part V

I have been receiving some interesting comments these past few weeks, on the drama that we all participate in without our knowing it. Some of the comments relate to the drama in the workplace and how it is very disruptive to good teamwork. While drama is just part of the human condition, I am sure you have experienced unwanted drama and wished there were ways to reduce it.

As you all are aware of, from my radio discussion as well as my earlier blog articles that there are various kinds of drama and many different symptoms and sources. In this article, I will discuss the most common kind of drama in the workplace. This is where a person acts out his or her daily frustrations in ways that create chaos and loss of focus that hurt the productivity, effectiveness, and teamwork of the group. I am not addressing the serious drama caused by mental illness or tragic events. BTW, this is the last part of the mini-series on Avoiding Drama in our lives. 

Let’s take a look at the seeds of this problem without going into the mechanics of the Quantum Physics but, to identify some mitigating strategies. Drama is a result of people who feel they are not being heard. If an individual believes his or her opinions are valued and considered in the decision process, then there is less need for drama. If the culture is real, and people are not playing games with each other, then the distractions of drama will be significantly reduced.

It is a function of leaders to establish a culture where people see little need for drama in order to be a vital part of the real action. Here are some tips that leaders can use to reduce drama in their organization:

1.    Admit mistakes. You gain respect when you are honest about the blunders that you make. People will feel less like acting out in response to your foibles if they see you willing to be vulnerable.

2.    Anticipate needs. Be proactive at sensing when people need to be heard and provide the opportunity before they become frustrated.

3.    Hear people out and consider their input seriously. Positive body language is essential to show respect for all people.

4.    Improve the level of trust. High trust groups respect people, so there is a feeling of inclusiveness that does not require high profile actions to get attention.

5.    Reinforce people well. Providing sincere praise is one way to show respect. This reduces people’s tendency to say, “Hey don’t forget about me over here.”

6.    Respect outliers. When someone’s view is contrary to the majority, there may be valid points to consider. Do not ignore the valuable insights of all people.

7.    Work on your own humility. Climbing down off your pedestal means that you are more willing to be on an equal footing with others.

We must also realize that some people are world class at creating drama; Drama Kings and Drama Queens. For these people it is a kind of sport. They do it to gain inappropriate attention or just to be disruptive. These people need coaching to let them know their antics are not really helping drive the goals of the organization. The leader needs to provide feedback about the issue and set the expectation of improvement. If the drama continues and is disruptive, then the person may be better off in some other organization doing a different function.

Drama is all around us on a daily basis, but good leadership can mitigate the negative impact and keep bad habits from becoming an organizational albatross.

Falling Out Of Love With My Drama – Part IV

If you missed the Part III of this mini-series of articles, you can click here and catch up.

Continuing on to the fourth step in the process of avoiding the drama in my life...

Step 4 – My Now

And this is where I want to live for the duration.  Staying in the present is so much more interesting than you might ever imagine. This is where your greater capacity lives and this is where your joy resides

My present is the only possible reality and it is the one that we are just really learning about. We have a lot of epigenetic learning from our family, community and schools, etc. that have trained us to look backwards for information and look forward for success.

Our success is here now – we can only exist in this moment and the rest is all made up from only slightly accurate information – flawed views of life that are often based on fear and longing rather than what we can actually know for sure.

In the present you are always fresh, new and available to every idea, opportunity and resource that your world is offering to you.

Choose your way to stay in the present by having a good friend to check in with, or meditating/yoga, doing your Affirmations, taking long walks in nature, reading great books – whatever skill or technique works for you to keep you aligned with your present.

I would not choose to live anywhere else.

Next week, I will share some additional thoughts on avoiding the drama in our lives.

Falling Out Of Love With My Drama – Part III

If you missed the Part II of this mini-series of articles, you can click here and catch up.

Continuing on to the third step in the process of avoiding the drama in my life...

Step 3 – My Future

Finally I got to the point of looking ‘forward’ even though I am aware from Quantum Physics that there is no time – just ask Einstein.  For me this was sort of a way station. It was a place I lived for a while until I really understood that my future is right now. It was useful in the sense that at least I had separated out from my past.

Living in the future may be slightly better than living in the past – but for me this was true only because it was a stepping-stone to get me to see the value of living in the present.

The most important lesson I learned at this level was to start seeing a different future, something fresh and new and sometimes seemingly impossible.

Many people are very skilled at picturing the potential catastrophes in their lives – all the things they fear might occur. But when asked to picture a really amazingly wonderful future, all the things they ever wanted, they then feel very blocked and unable to picture anything.

It was not until I really looked at how I use my knowledge of the Quantum field and the capacity to change my DNA with Intention – that I was able to move myself into the future now – by bringing the future to me in the present.

Stay tuned for Step #4 next week.

Falling Out Of Love With My Drama – Part II

If you missed the Part I of this mini-series of articles, you can click here and catch up.

Continuing on to the second step in the process of avoiding the drama in my life.

Step 2 – My History

How many of us are ‘married’ to our stories. It is easy to believe that if you give up your ‘story’ you will no longer be yourself and you will never be able to rectify what has happened and create something new. The truth is, it is your stories that keep you stuck and interfere with your capacity to create the new life you want. Once you choose to create what you want instead of what you have, you have no need for what was.

When we look at our biology and our brain works from a Quantum Physics point of view, we are primarily energy that is affected, changed, modified and created by our thoughts, our environment, and the entire energy field.

Our history is essentially frozen memories that may or may not even occurred.  

“I have suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of which never happened.” ~ Mark Twain

The truth is that the past is truly irrelevant – think about how often remembering past events has made you feel better, or helped you avoid the same mistake again, or improved your relationships – as a coach I can tell you I haven’t seen that in others and certainly not in myself.

Your history is over – LET IT GO!!!

Stay tuned for Step #3 next week.

Falling Out of Love with my Drama – Part I

If you recall, I have written about in my blog articles and also discussed on my radio shows earlier on the control drama (click on the link if you have missed listening to it) in our lives. This past Sunday, two of the Village of Abundance group (on Facebook) members got together on the VoARadio Network to discuss 'How to Heal from Mama Trauma.' As I listened to that radio show, it made me to think more on how I succeeded in driving out the drama in my life.

I have been fortunate to study with some of the most amazing teachers over the years, and all of them have talked about letting go of the drama in your life.

It took me awhile to truly let go of it all and learn to live in the present, to be present with my own life and with everyone in it.

I found that I took myself through several steps to get to the Freedom I desired. In the next few weeks, I will briefly write about each of these steps. For this week, here is Step #1:

Step 1- Forgiveness

In order to start the clearing out process I realized that forgiveness was the key that would open the lock to all else that was within. Even though I knew better, it was still easy to get caught up in the idea that by forgiving the person, I was approving the act. And also that forgiveness was for the other person when it is really always for us, and for our own inner peace. Once I got myself past those old mind-sets, it was an easy road from there – simply a process of letting go.

You have most likely heard the saying, ‘Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.’  It costs you everything and costs the other nothing.

Once you truly start forgiving events and people, and most importantly yourself, then you will know how liberating it is for your spirit and how peaceful your life can be.

Stay tuned for Step #2 next week.