Genuine Leadership Beliefs

Get it right on the inside and you will get it right on the outside. 

That’s good advice that is rarely followed in today’s global corporate management circles. Instead there seems to be a focus on just getting it right on the outside. This can work, but it will probably leave your direct reports feeling a little empty at best—or distrusting at worst.

When leaders focus only on their behaviors and outside appearances, they are presenting a thin veneer of leadership that can work for a short while, but it eventually breaks down—especially under pressure.

Wondering how you can get it right on the inside instead of working so hard to act in a prescribed way on the outside? Here are some ways to get started. These are based on answers to such questions as, “Who was your best boss?” and “What made them so special?”

See people as assets to develop instead of liabilities to manage. Good leadership begins with a fundamental belief in people and the value that they can bring to a company. Where do you stand on this? What do you believe in? Do you focus on people’s strengths and how to maximize them, or do you tend to focus on weaknesses and how to correct them? How does that impact your leadership behaviors?

Assume the best. People have good days and bad days. They make mistakes; they exhibit poor judgment; and they sometimes let you down. How do you react to these situations? What is the story that you are telling yourself about their actions? Are you assuming they had good intentions and just fell short, or does this just go to show that you were right about them all along? Your resulting leadership behavior will be very different depending on your mindset.

See yourself as a leader instead of as an evaluator. Part of leadership is matching skill sets to the overall goals of the organization. The ability to discern talent and apply it effectively is an important quality. But don’t make that the sole focus of your leadership. Instead, go beyond getting the right people in the right positions and actively work to help them succeed in their roles. See their success as a partnership between you and them. When people sense that you are on their side, helping them to succeed, they act and perform very differently than if they feel that you are primarily judging and evaluating them.

Beliefs and attitudes drive your behaviors. In today’s open and connected world, you have to be genuine and authentic. Leaders who get it right on the inside naturally display genuine behaviors on the outside that people respond to. Take a look at your leadership beliefs. Work on the inside first.

11 Dimensions of Self Awareness

As a prelude to my upcoming interview and cover story on the ‘11 Dimensions of Self Awareness’ for the International Mentors Magazine later this year, I’ll be posting here a series of weekly articles starting early October.

These articles deal in great detail on what Self-awareness is all about, how to develop it and the benefits of achieving it. I’ll also write about how one can use this information to balancing their lives in both their inner and outer lives.

People are living and working in an increasingly uncertain, unstable economic and social climate. Many feel frustrated and stressed in their work and home lives. They know that stress damages the body, mind and spirit, yet they feel caught in its trap. 

I think these conflicts are so common because people are conditioned to frame the problem incorrectly to begin with. That is, there's no way to balance work life and home life, because both exist on the same side of the scale - what I call your "outer" life. On the other side of the scale is your personal, private life - your "inner" life. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life, try, instead, to balance your outer life and inner life.

There are 4 dimensions (People, Productivity, Tasks – also known as KARMA to those familiar with the Bhagavad Geetha, and Leadership) in the work life and another 4 dimensions (Family, Social, Financial – aka ARDHA and Ethics & Beliefs – aka DHARMA) in the home life for a total of 8 dimensions in the Outer life. With the 3 dimensions of body, mind and spirit/soul in the Inner life; you now have eleven dimensions overall to deal with and achieve harmony, joy and success in your life.

When Buddha began his teachings, his intention was to lead us into a realm of awareness so that we are awakened to Buddha’s insight and wisdom. Through this awareness, we can strive to become equals to the Buddha. Prince Siddhartha became the Buddha because he had realized the truth of life in the universe (self-awareness). With perfect compassion, he then proceeded to teach all being about this truth thus helping others to achieve enlightenment (enlighten others). Therefore, he is truly an enlightened person who possesses the quality of self-awareness, the ability to enlighten others, and complete enlightenment.

Increasing your self-awareness and living authentically takes time, practice, and patience - but the rewards are well worth it! It’s a very spiritual journey. It connects you to your Self, to your family, to your community, and to the world. I hope that you will join me in these articles to explore and share this enlightenment to achieving inner peace spiritually.

Inspire Others by Self Improvement

Here is the article that I originally intended to post last Saturday but, changed my tracks. I hope that you will appreciate my point clearly.

More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us - when in fact, most people are more scared than us. When all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we end up with a wishful idea of “I wish I was somebody else!” 

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and think of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Self Esteem – what exactly is it and how does one find it?

Esteem: (definition according to Webster's Dictionary) to value, appraise, estimate, to have great regard for; value highly; favorable opinion, high regard …

When people truly esteem themselves, they will take 100% responsibility for their own lives. They let others make decisions for themselves without trying to be in control, and let others be responsible for their actions. Life lived right is a delicate balance, and we all need help maintaining this balance.

Get in touch with your true self which is perfect in every way. Your true self esteem is who it is because it knows it was created perfect by a perfect creator. It is the false self that finds fault in who it is and lacks self esteem. Finding your Authentic or true self is the only adventure you can’t afford to miss in life.

For the record, I never had a client who complained of having too much self esteem, and who therefore asked for a reduction. Most people, in moments of profound honesty, will admit to a lack of self esteem. They would like to feel better about themselves - more confident and capable - in short, to love themselves more.

Some time ago, an extremely famous chat show host was heard to say: "Low self esteem is the root of all the problems in the world”...

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when were together?”  In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend her your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give her answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!”  Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help her improve herself.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love your self is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on.  Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life doesn’t need to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

__________________________________

Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 26 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information, visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.

The Value of a Coaching Relationship

Sometimes people confuse coaches with traditional consultants. Unconsciously, people ask coaches to give advice. The role of a coach is not to provide answers or solutions. It is to help you develop the potential that lies within yourself, so that you increase your capability to overcome all obstacles and achieve all of your goals.

Sometimes people expect coaches to serve as mentors. They want their coach to go before them and show them the way. However, the coach’s role is not to lead you. Rather it is to help you discover for yourself where you are today and where you want to be in the future. Once you chart your own course, your coach will accompany you on the journey and provide ongoing support, guidance, and encouragement.

Coaching relationships vary considerably. One of the advantages of individual coaching is that it can be tailored to the needs of the personality and the person being coached. Nevertheless, all effective coaching relationships have some common characteristics.

Effective coaching is focused. The coach will be focused on you and your goals. The spotlight will be on results not on extraneous issues. Coaching is not therapy. Your past will only be relevant when it affects your future goals. The coach will be committed to helping you get where you want to go, rather than helping you understand where you’ve been.

The purpose of coaching is not to create potential, as you possess all of the potential you need, but rather to reveal and release it. In the safety and confidentiality of the coaching environment, you will uncover your deepest desires, identify your strengths, and unmask constraints that prevent you from moving forward. Only then will you be better able to take the right actions necessary to achieve your goals.

The coaching relationship creates a safe space for you to mentally expand. Because safety and trust are established, creativity is unlocked, possibilities are discovered, and momentum is initiated. The coach will transparently offer you the benefits of their unique style, skills, life experiences, intuitive sense, and other strengths. Because the coaching sessions will be authentic, they will flow effortlessly and create great value.

Coaching will address and impact your whole life. You will achieve the greatest satisfaction when your personal life and your professional life are in balance and in harmony. The coaching relationship is about listening and responding, not advising or fixing. When you immerse yourself in the coaching experience, creative energy is released and transformation is the results. The pace may seem slow at first, but results come fast. And the results last because they are created on a strong foundation. Coaching will not simply help you solve challenges and accomplish goals, it will transform the way you solve and accomplish them. It will not simply improve your life—it will transform the way you live.

Success is the continual achievement of your own predetermined goals, stabilized by balance, and purified by belief. With a coach’s support, you will set goals in harmony with your values and beliefs and in alignment with your purpose. There is no quick and easy way to learn how to ride a bike. Similarly, coaching is not a quick fix—it’s a process. As you move ahead with your life, testing and measuring, trying and failing, and trying and succeeding, perhaps a coach should be in your corner offering encouragement and support as you discover on your own the solutions to any challenges that confront you.

__________________________________

Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is affiliated with Resource Associates Corporation, a network of 600+ associates that are dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 26 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.