Quantum Physics of Belief – Positive Emotional States

Since the beginning of January 2012, I was writing about quantum physics and business research to explore the correlation between the science of consciousness and patterns in the business world, to suggest innovative ways of using this wisdom to lead and succeed in a business environment that is constantly evolving at a rapid pace. Neurobiology is telling us we can read other people’s emotions, and we know that positive emotional states foster business success. When people are in a positive emotional state, their cognitive ability is significantly enhanced and their ability to be creative is elevated. As leaders, we can learn to monitor the emotions of our employees and teams, but it requires that we literally get out of our heads and into our bodies.

Especially with the Information Age, our heads are often buzzing while we try to keep up with all of the information coming at us. In business we are usually consumed with analysis and reasoning. As rewarding as a strong analytical mind can be, it can also be a detriment if we become conditioned to always keeping our awareness in that realm. Our nervous system extends through our entire body, and we need to become familiar with all of it in order to use it as a receptor to other people’s emotions. Therefore, we have some learning to do.

You can expand your sensitivity to emotion by paying attention to the sensations in your body when you experience particular emotional states. Pay attention to all parts of your body, becoming aware of how they feel. This is part of listening to your body; one of the six step process that I outlined in my earlier article on Insightful Instincts. Our bodies love to receive the attention that they need. Does the temperature in areas of your body change as your emotions change? Is the quality of energy different, sometimes tingling and sometimes throbbing? Is there a particular heaviness or lightness in your body? It is important to realize that the way emotions feel is specific to an individual. For example, when I feel frustrated or overwhelmed, my hands throb and feel tired and heavy, as if I am carrying a heavy load. Other people will not feel frustration and angst in the same manner.

To use this ability in a business setting, there are particular emotions that are useful to know in ourselves.

It can be extremely useful to determine if people are feeling valued and appreciated. How does your body feel when you believe you are a valued member of a team? Perhaps your body feels light and you feel warmness in your upper torso. In contrast, what sensations do you get in your body when you feel ignored or disrespected by your co-workers or boss? Become aware of these feelings in your teams.

You want employees and co-workers to feel compelled and inspired to achieve the goals of the company. How does your body feel when you are working towards a mission that is meaningful to you? Perhaps you get a strong expansion of energy around your heart and head. In contrast, what sensations do you get when you are apathetic about achieving the goals of your company or feel that there is no compelling vision? Knowing how these emotions feel in your body gives you a baseline for determining how much passion your employees and coworkers feel.

Sometimes teams need an injection of optimism or help solving a problem. What sensations do you get when you feel that failure is imminent or you are facing a serious problem?  Perhaps your energy drops and your feet feel leaden or there is a burning in the pit of your stomach. Determine if these emotions are present in your employees, so you know who needs help.

Your own experiences in everyday business life likely give you the opportunity to feel some of these emotions and become familiar with them in your body. In addition, you can learn to feel them by thinking about a time in the past when you were faced with conditions that caused these emotions. Recall the details of scenarios, conjuring up all the emotion. And of course, pay attention to the details of how your body feels.

Controlling Your Emotions

It is clear that no one wants to control their emotions in such a way that it would make them all disappear—including the good or positive emotions. After all, what fun would there be to live a life without joy, without enthusiasm?

The good news is this control can be selective, just like the products that kill stubborn weeds in your kitchen garden while leaving the carrots intact. As a matter of fact, not only do carrots grow best when they are not cluttered by weeds, but so it is with human emotions.

Now, you will most probably admit that it is difficult—if not impossible—to feel joyful while being anxious or depressed at the same time. The control of your negative emotions is usually sufficient in itself to allow positive emotions to blossom.

However, to control a phenomenon, it is usually essential to know the cause. For most human beings, the cause of their emotions is found in some event of their distant or recent past, present, or future. And so we can often hear them say:

• "This good news made me happy."
• "My son's failures depress me."
• "The death of my mother saddens me."
• "My daughter's rudeness makes me angry."
• "Heights scare me."

Every time, the person identifies the event (good news, failure, death, rudeness, and heights) as the cause of a particular emotion (joy, depression, sadness, anger, and anxiety). Almost everyone will find that this theory is fully satisfactory and realistic. This is probably what you believe as well.

And yet not only is this theory one of the most pernicious errors we can imagine, but a moment of reflection will suffice to prove that no event—whether past, present, or future—never causes the shadow of an emotion to anyone.

The real cause of human emotions can be found in the thoughts, beliefs, ideas, personal reflections, interpretations, opinions... in short, in the way we talk to ourselves about an event—whether past, present, or future. In other words, our emotions—positive or negative, good or bad—are never caused by an event.

Your happiness and emotional wellness mainly depend on the fact that you know, understand, and accept the true cause of your emotions—whether positive or negative, good or bad.

As a matter of fact, I believe that it is the cornerstone of the entire system by which you can learn to modify your own emotions and thus raise your level of happiness and improve the quality of your life.

Thoughts and Beliefs

Let’s continue to explore how your thoughts and beliefs cause your emotions. This time, however, our discussion will be specifically focused on your beliefs.

You and I believe many things. To believe is to hold true something for which we don’t have any proof. If there is any evidence of the truth of something, we won’t say that we believe, but that we know. For example:

• You know that Planet Earth is round, but you believe that the coffee you drank this morning will not cause you any harm.
• You know that you have eaten a tuna fish sandwich for lunch, but you believe that your favorite sport team will win the game tonight.
• You know that it rained heavily today, but you believe that tomorrow will be a bright sunshiny day.

Our beliefs are thus forms of unproven ideas that may have a presence in our minds without us being really aware of it. Moreover, many of these beliefs can cause powerful emotions resulting in acts or omissions potentially harmful to us.

In other words, not only can some of our beliefs have devastating emotional effects, but they can either lead us to perform acts that are diametrically opposite to our true interests, or conversely, cause us to omit other actions in an equally harmful way.

In consequence, it is of paramount importance for us to pay attention to the beliefs we choose for ourselves and to be careful not to let ourselves be overwhelmed by a whole heap of unproven thoughts and ideas which, if they are often harmless, can unfortunately be, in other cases, considerably hurtful.

To sum up what I have stressed so far: Our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs about the various events, people, and things that life brings to us are the true cause of our emotions—positive or negative, good or bad. It also goes without saying that events, people, and things never cause us the shadow of an emotion. Therefore, we can also conclude that the change of our cognitive content—thoughts, ideas, beliefs—will cause the change of our emotions.

Quantum Physics of Belief - Scarcity is a Limiting Belief

In the past couple of articles, we were exploring how our experiences form based on what we believe about the world. This week, let’s extend that concept to how businesses shape their profits. The accepted model of business in our society is rooted in scarcity, and thus presents a limitation to our experience of profitability. When we recognize this, we can become cognizant of these limiting beliefs and move beyond them.

We all know that in some way, our beliefs create our reality. Before a person or team can achieve something, they have to believe they will. Sure it gives them confidence to perform their best, but science tells us the very form of matter is influenced by our beliefs (see the earlier articles 1: Quantum Physics of Belief – Effects of Universal Consciousness and 2: Quantum Physics of Belief – Keys to Sustainable Success in this series.) In other words, in some way, what we believe is what reality becomes.

It follows that to be profitable, business organizations must believe that profits are abundant and achievable. Businesses operate within a social system and obtain their profits from external sources, so let’s assess how most businesses operate in this larger context and how their practices reveal their beliefs in the scarcity of wealth.

In the book The Science of Getting Rich published in 1910, Wallace D. Wattles wrote that ‎"People must be taught to become rich by creation, not by competition... every person who gets rich by creation opens a way for thousands to follow him/her and inspires them to do so." Now, science validates this and we will see how.

Most business leaders would say that it’s the goal in business to retain or acquire the maximum dollar amount in every business transaction. We would generally say that we are doing the right thing as business leaders when we are able to extract the highest prices from customers and pay the lowest prices to suppliers. But when we engage in business in this competitive manner, without consideration for the financial health of the other party, what does that indicate about our underlying beliefs?

These competitive practices reveal that we believe there is not enough for everyone to win, and therefore we have to make sure we are one of the winners. This demonstrates that we believe profits are not abundant, but rather they are scarce. We can easily recognize this at a personal level: think about when we act competitively versus collaboratively. We act competitively in situations such as playing in sports games where there are multiple players or teams but only one winner. We act competitively when we are a student in a class where only the top 10% will receive grade A. We act competitively when we are working for a company that periodically purges the lower performers. So, we act competitively when we believe that what we are vying for is scarce in that there is not enough for everyone.

In contrast, we act collaboratively when we believe that there is enough for everyone. We act collaboratively when we are engaged in a sport such as mountain climbing, where the goal is for everyone to make it to the top. We act collaboratively when we are a student taking a class in which there is no limit to the number of grade A’s given. And we act collaboratively when we are working for a company that has enough jobs for all employees. So, as a rule, we act competitively when we believe the object of our actions is scarce, and collaboratively when we believe the object of our actions is abundant. Therefore, striving to retain the maximum dollar amount in each business transaction, without regard to the other party, indicates a belief in the scarcity of wealth, which creates the condition of lower profitability.

Observe the belief systems that are prevalent in your business. Are they rooted in abundance or scarcity? Observe how your beliefs correspond to your reality and understand that the science proves that your beliefs came first and led to your experience. This understanding is the first step to creating greater abundance for your business.

The belief in abundance versus scarcity is relevant for any action in which money changes hands. This includes negotiation practices, employee compensation philosophies, and the degree to which competition is considered a threat. An organization’s belief about abundance is revealed to the extent they seek to protect their own interests more than the other party’s. If we truly believe in abundance, there is no reason to be concerned about personal protection at the expense of someone else. We know there is enough for everyone.

Physics experimentation shows us there is no fixed amount of wealth. Our consciousness is determining what we experience, so there is as much as we believe there is. Underlying this is a profound reality: there is no limit to the abundance that exists in the world, except for the limits that exist in our minds. As such, we can learn to be better at choosing how we perceive the world.

Science has proven that we are "wired to cooperate." Indeed, it is how we have survived as a species. It is probably true, that our future survival is also rooted in this principle. You wouldn't know it by looking at the condition of the world. How would the world be different if, instead of competing with one another on a daily basis, we actually sought to cooperate? Maybe too utopian, maybe a naive thought (I am about as competitive a person as you will ever meet) but a wonderful hope for the world. I am finding that as I apply the Axiogenic principles, I now compete to cooperate. It sounds weird, I know, but I am applying the same emotional energy to a different goal. It is quite satisfying.

Can you imagine if politicians competed to cooperate? And, wow! What a novel thought that would be? I believe that most politicians are good folks, who initially intend to do the best they can within their belief system. Not all, but most. The system corrupts them. Unfortunately, we are the system. Imagine if we were all focused on value, but all actually knew how to evaluate "value" effectively. What a different world it would be.

Is Your Best Yet To Come in 2012!?

Have you spent any time thinking about the future, in say 2012? Your future?

Sometimes the demands placed upon us daily take up so much of our time; it's hard to find even a moment to consider the future.

But whether you are ready, or not... 2012 is coming... and fast.

And you are the one who is charged with determining exactly what that future will look like for you.

You live in a fast-paced culture in which everything is in motion. And there are no signs of turning back. Standing still doesn't work, either. At least, not for very long.

So how do we make sure that our rapidly-accelerating lives don't pass us by like a furious flash of un-fulfilling nothingness?

I'd like to suggest some tips that can help, but before you read on, I want you to recognize and remember this...

Your current results or circumstances (that you faced in 2011) are in no way a reflection of what is possible for you in the future.

Your potential is unlimited. And the thoughts, ideas, and plans that you focus upon from this day forward will ultimately shape and direct your future.

Here are some ideas to consider...

1) Stop- First, you need to pause... kind of like how you'd approach a "STOP" sign at an intersection. A brief stop, long enough to look in each direction before proceeding. While paused, take a moment to consider WHAT is MOST IMPORTANT to you at this point in your life. Is it your family? Your career? Your relationships? What brings you joy? What are you so passionate about?

2) Consider some Editing- Then, take a moment to consider, what are some things that DO NOT bring you joy? How could you begin to "edit" them out of your day? Maybe there are some activities or behaviors that are not supporting the vision you have of your highest self? Maybe there are some relationships that you need to extricate yourself from?

3) Commit to Carving- Now think about HOW would you spend more time, TODAY and TOMORROW, doing more of what it is that you want to do? Don't worry about next week or next month. Just consider today, YES! Starting today. No need for any New Year resolutions. Figure out how to carve out a small segment in the next 24 hours. Maybe you could wake up 30 minutes earlier in the morning? Or perhaps go to bed 30 minutes later tonight?

Small, incremental commitments of time, directed toward doing what makes you happy, will have a beneficial effect in all areas of your life. Spending time in this frame of mind will become a habit that will replace older, out-dated, less productive habits.

But you have to get started. You need to actively and intentionally plan the way you want your future to look, in 2012. If you passively stand by, you can be sure that your tomorrow, next week, next month, and 2012 will just become a more distressed and less fulfilling version of the past.

You have the opportunity to shape your future. I don't know exactly what you are facing or what you are going through, but I do know that if you will work at it, and take an active role in determining how it will unfold, certainly, your best is yet to come!

Be creative, as 2012 unwinds in just a few more days!

Happy New Year, 2012.

2 Parts of 7

“The plane leaves on Monday. It’s only Friday. So why are you already packing?” That was a question my son used to ask me whenever I prepared for my business travel (2 or 3 years ago before I stopped doing that). I’d respond by telling him that I started packing early so that if I remembered something later on, I could always pack it. Being somebody who usually packed his backpack to school while the school bus is honking from the street, he probably thinks that was the most ridiculous idea.

But, then I was amazed last week when he made a startling statement that I remember it even today. I was helping him with his math homework, and we were sitting on the floor with his advanced algebra book sprawled out in front of us. We were working on an odd-numbered problem and the answer was a fraction — 2/7ths. My son exclaimed, “Oh! The weekend syndrome!” I asked, “What?” He said, “You know, as you always say; how 2 parts of 7, defines who we are, the teenagers!”

Let me explain... As humans, we usually have to have something to look forward to in order to get us through the days, and more often than not, that something we look forward to is usually the weekend. We push ourselves through the week to get to the weekend. We push ourselves to the point where we have become 2/7ths people, only really living 2 days out of the 7 in a week.

Sure, blood is moving through our veins and yeah, oxygen is flowing through our lungs in those 5 weekdays as it is on those 2 weekend days, but it is not the same. We are not the same. In those five days, are we really living or are we living on auto-pilot?

Things can be different, though. We can look forward to those 5 weekdays just like we do the weekend, and thereby become 7/7ths people. And thereby become whole. Daily life can be a lot more interesting and meaningful if we take risks, shed our fear of failure, chase our dreams, and spend more time with one another. If we just do that, we will find ourselves becoming more invested in the Here and Now instead of looking at the clock and counting down time.

One way we can move closer to becoming 7/7th people is by taking risks in our daily lives, whether big or small, personal or professional. So take a risk. Say hi to that person in the hallway instead of making brief eye contact then choosing to glance away until you pass each other. We have all done it. In the moment, you are thinking: “Will he say hi?” — “Should I initiate?” — “Will it be awkward if I don’t?” Just say it. Human beings are creatures of emotion, attachment, and attention and you hold the power to make someone’s day. And if worse comes to worst, remember that awkward is nothing but a state of mind.

Take a risk. Next time you are sitting in a meeting and something doesn’t make sense, ask a question. Who cares if people think it’s dumb? Who really cares? Because in a few weeks or even in a few moments, they will forget and you will have learned the material. More importantly, the best way to move ahead is to focus on asking the questions along the way. It sometimes amounts to placing more importance on the question than the answer. Something as simple as asking yourself what you are really looking for is often missed, but it becomes evident how important it is when you realize that once you have a very clear idea about what question is, the answer is often just sitting there waiting for you.

Becoming 7/7ths is not only about taking risks, but also about confronting the natural human fear of failure. The world has spoken and has decided to mark failure as something only associated with the lowest of the low in society, the rejects, and the losers.

But when we see successful people in life, we see what’s close to a finished product. We don’t see the process, we don’t see the countless shots the stud basketball player missed or the numerous soufflés the chef messed up before getting it just right.

Really, when you think about it, failure in life is inevitable. It is going to happen unless of course you live your life so carefully that you very well may have never lived at all. And if that is the case, then you have already failed.

Failure will teach you things that you can learn no place else. You may find that you have a great work ethic, a strong will, an extra gear, and a network of friends who love you. Really, how else will you know yourself or the strength of your friendships until both have been tested by adversity? That is why we cannot fear failure. We must risk failure in order to live. And it is in these moments of risk that the greatest memories are made, that life takes on a greater meaning. If you take a moment to think about your own defining memories, I bet more than a few of them would be about how you conquered your fears or did something daring and courageous together with your best friends. We hold the power to make more of those memories.

We also hold the power to turn our dreams into reality, which is another part of achieving 7/7ths. Some of us may know what we want to do in life, and even those people may find a new inspiration along the way. But, for the many of us still trying to figure out what we want to do, just give it time, and you’ll find your dream or maybe it’ll find you. And when you find that dream, you gotta get after it, protect it, and dare to be idealistic. Just like with failure, though, society has turned us against that word — idealism. But make no mistake about it; we desperately need more idealistic thinkers in the world today. At the heart of every great goal is idealism, and at the heart of every leader, every risk taker, every go-getter, is the ability to change our definition of what idealistic is.

Moreover, your dreams and goals take on a whole new meaning if you have someone to share them with, which brings me to my next point: being 7/7ths is about being together. The purpose of life is to live a fulfilling one and to spend time with loved ones. Because in life, what we are about is being in the moment and making the moments count. And we make the moments count by enjoying one another’s company, by sharing our stories, laughs, goals, aspirations, and memories with one another. In the end, life is about the big and small things. My hope is that we become 7/7th people.

Are you going to take that one small step now?

To many, success seems to come suddenly. When you observe others and what they have achieved you usually don’t appreciate what it has taken for them to get where they are. Ultimately, in failing to do this you also fail to learn what it would take for you to attain the same level of achievement and success.

But, if you take the time to truly think about it, you will find that success is usually only a small step away. Yet despite that it eludes most people. It is always so near and yet so far.

The journey of a thousand miles...
takes small steps to success all along that hike. Together, they add up to hundreds of thousands of small steps. But we might have chosen not to take the first step. We might have stopped at any point along the way. That would have meant that we would not have gotten to our destination.


There are also obstacles along the way. But with each small step they are overcome.


There are frustrations, fears and uncertainties. But with each small step they are crushed.


There is hardship and danger, but with each small step and focus on the desired destination it is conquered. Success is no mystery.


It takes only one small step to succeed.


So, have you taken that one step today?

We Don’t Need to Manage our Time Better

One of the most commonly shared and seriously flawed beliefs is that simply spending time on something will generate positive results. If you buy into this premise, then you’re probably rushed much of the time.

On the other hand, high-quality, focused energy is essential to achieving results. Just putting in hours is NOT the point.

We don’t need to manage our time better; we need to manage our energy and focus. And to do that, we need to pay attention to something else… something much more fundamental: the stories we tell ourselves.

As Performance Psychologist Jim Loehr writes in The Power of Story (Free Press, 2007), “…the key to almost all of our problems, more fundamental even than poor energy management, is faulty storytelling, because it’s storytelling that drives the way we gather and spend our energy.”

Think about the last time you said, “I am exhausted.” I’ll bet you tell yourself a story about why you’re tired. You probably don’t even think about this story. But I’ll bet it contributes to why you are tired.

In other words, you may be justifying or blaming, or feeling sorry for yourself in some way.

I’m not saying you are wrong or lying. Bear with me here. What if you changed your story?

What if instead of looking at your reasons for being tired, you looked at yourself as a superhero, or a super athlete… and made up a different story? You can tell yourself whatever you want to make yourself feel differently.

Stories are the way we generate energy, and they are also the way we excuse ourselves from doing things we don’t think we should have to do.

The human brain is wired to make up stories, no matter what. It’s the way we make sense of our world, which can be complex, ambiguous, and abstract.  Unconsciously, we look for an explanation of why things happen to us.

As long as we are making up stories to explain our reality, we usually cast ourselves as the “good guy.” Sometimes that serves us well, but other times we’d be better off looking at what we could do better. Without casting ourselves as inadequate or deficient, our stories could inspire us to take action.

As authors of our own stories, as long as we are making things up, we may as well make our stories as inspiring as possible.

11 Dimensions of Self Awareness - Balancing Inner & Outer Lives

5^th Article of the Series

In my previous articles, I have talked about the need for balancing the Wheel of Life and introduced the concept of various dimensions of the Balancing one’s Life. I also discussed the myths surrounding the Balancing of Life. Now, I am going to further explore what it means to balancing the two components of the Wheel of Life, Inner and Outer lives.

People are living and working in an increasingly uncertain, unstable economic and social climate. Many feel frustrated and stressed in their work and home lives. They know that stress damages the body, mind and spirit, yet they feel caught in its trap. 

In the late 1990’s, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services linked 70 percent of all physical and mental illnesses to some kind of stress. And that number has probably increased over the last decade. Much of this stress comes from struggling with the pressures of work and home - and trying to "balance" both. The problem seems nearly universal, whether in two-worker, single-parent or childless households.

I think these conflicts are so common because people are used to frame the problem incorrectly to begin with. That is, there's no way to balance work life and home life, because both exist on the same side of the scale - what I call the "outer" life. On the other side of the scale is personal, private life - the "inner" life. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life, try, instead, to balance your outer life and inner life.

A Different Balancing Act

Let me explain. On the outer side of the scale you have the complex logistics and daily stresses of life at both work and home… the e-mails to respond to, the errands, family obligations, phone calls, to-do lists and responsibilities that fill your days. Your outer life is the realm of the external, material world. It's where you use your energies to deal with tangible, often essential things; paying your bills, building a career, dealing with people, raising kids, doing household chores, and so on. Your outer life is on your iPhone, BlackBerry, or Facebook and Twitter.

On the other side of the scale is your internal self. It's the realm of your private thoughts and values; your emotions, fantasies, spiritual or religious practices, your capacity to love, your secret desires, and your deeper sense of purpose. In short, it embodies who you are, on the inside. A "successful" inner life is defined by how well you deal with your emotions, your degree of self-awareness, and your sense of clarity about your values and life purpose. It includes your level of mental repose; your capacity for calm, focused action and resiliency that you need in the face of your frenetic, multitasking outer life.

If the realm of the inner life sounds unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you, this only emphasizes how much you - like most people - have lost touch with your inner self. You can become so depleted and stretched by dealing with your outer life that there's little time to tend to your mind, spirit or body. Then, you identify your "self" mostly with who you are in that outer realm. And when there's little on the inner side of the scale, the outer part weighs you down. You are unbalanced, unhappy and often sick.

When your inner life is out of balance with your outer, you become more vulnerable to stress, and that's related to a wide range of physical damage - heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, skin disorders, migraine, to name just a few.

More broadly, when your inner and outer lives become unbalanced, your daily functioning is affected in a range of ways, both subtle and overt. When operating in the outer world - at home, for example, in dealings with your spouse or partner - you may struggle with unjustified feelings of insecurity and fear. You may find yourself at the mercy of anger or greed whose source you don't understand. You may be plagued with indecisiveness or revert to emotional "default" positions forged during childhood, such as submissiveness, rebellion or self-undermining behavior.

Even when you're successful in parts of your outer life, neglecting the inner remains hazardous to your psychological and physical health. Without a developed inner life, you lose the capacity to regulate, channel and focus your energies with awareness, self-direction and judgment. Personal relationships can suffer, your health may deteriorate and you become vulnerable to looking for new stimulation from the outer-world sources you know best - maybe a new "win," a new love affair, drugs or alcohol.

And that pulls you even more off-balance, possibly to the point of no return. The extreme examples are people who destroy their outward success with behavior that reflects a complete disengagement from their inner lives - corporate executives led away in handcuffs for indulging in ill-gotten gains, self-destructive sports stars overcome by the trappings of their outer-life successes, political leaders whose flawed personal lives destroy their credibility, clerics who are staunch moralists at the pulpit but sexual predators or adulterers behind closed doors.

Of course, most people want to function well in the outer, material world. Doing so is part of a successful adult life. But what you choose to go after in work and life often reflects values and behavior that you've been socially conditioned into through your family and society. Much of that can be hard to see because you're immersed in it. What gets lost along the way is what your inner life might tell you about the consequences and value of what you pursue in your outer life.

Learning to Rebalance

But there's good news - reframing your challenge from trying to balance work and home to balancing your inner and outer lives will help you build overall health, internal well-being and resilience in your pursuit of outer life success.

That is, servicing your inner life builds healthy, positive control over your life - mastery and self-directed action, not suppression or rationalization. A stronger inner life creates a solid moral core and harmonizes your inner and outer selves. It informs your choices and actions by providing the calm and centeredness essential for knowing what demands or allures of the outer world you want to go after, or let pass; and how to deal with the consequences of either.

For example - clarifying which of the personal commitments, career goals and relationships you want or don't want. Whether this job or career is what you really desire, despite the money it pays or what people tell you that you should want. And, whether you believe that your relationship gives you and your partner the kind of positive, energized connection you want and need.

In short, a strengthened inner life brings your "private self" and your "public self" into greater harmony. That's the foundation you need for dealing with the stress-potential of outer world choices and conflicts; for knowing how and why you're living and using your energies out there in the ways that you do. With a robust inner life you feel grounded and anchored. You know who you are and what you're truly living for. Your inner life builds a state of heightened self-awareness and wholeness; a "heart that listens," as King Solomon asked for.

It is important that you must be able to see the gap between your inner life values - your ‘true’ self - and the choices you make based on your outer life conditioning - your ‘false’ self.

Finding the Gaps

A good initial step toward awakening your inner life is to identify the gaps between what you believe in, on the inside, and what you do on the outside. Everyone has those gaps. 

Here's an exercise that can help you awaken to them:

• First, make a list of what you believe to be your core, internal values or ideals (5- 10 entries). Perhaps it includes raising a strong, creative child; close friendships; expressing a creative talent that's important to you. It might include your spiritual life; an intimate marriage or partnership; or contributing your talents, energies or success to the society in some way.

• Next, make a parallel list for each item on your list, describing your daily actions relative to those values: How much time and energy do you spend on them in real time? What are your specific behaviors regarding each? Be detailed in your answers - note the last time you took an action aimed at nurturing that creative child, building your marriage or giving some meaningful help to the less fortunate. Don't be surprised or ashamed if you find that very few of your daily activities reflect those key values.

• Assign a number from 1 to 5 measuring the gap between each value and your behavior - 1 representing a minimal gap; 5, the maximum.

• Identify the largest gaps. Now think about how your inner values could redirect your outer-life choices in those areas. What would you have to do to bring the ‘inner you’ in synch with the ‘outer you’? What can you commit yourself to doing?

• Write it all down and set a reasonable time frame for reducing your gaps.

Developing your inner life is a practice. Think of it like building a muscle or developing skill in a sport or musical instrument.

Next week, I’ll discuss the four dimensions of the Home Life, part of the eight dimensions of Outer Life.

In the meantime, I welcome you to share your Self-Awareness story in the comments section below and I promise to read your story.

11 Dimensions of Self Awareness

As a prelude to my upcoming interview and cover story on the ‘11 Dimensions of Self Awareness’ for the International Mentors Magazine later this year, I’ll be posting here a series of weekly articles starting early October.

These articles deal in great detail on what Self-awareness is all about, how to develop it and the benefits of achieving it. I’ll also write about how one can use this information to balancing their lives in both their inner and outer lives.

People are living and working in an increasingly uncertain, unstable economic and social climate. Many feel frustrated and stressed in their work and home lives. They know that stress damages the body, mind and spirit, yet they feel caught in its trap. 

I think these conflicts are so common because people are conditioned to frame the problem incorrectly to begin with. That is, there's no way to balance work life and home life, because both exist on the same side of the scale - what I call your "outer" life. On the other side of the scale is your personal, private life - your "inner" life. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life, try, instead, to balance your outer life and inner life.

There are 4 dimensions (People, Productivity, Tasks – also known as KARMA to those familiar with the Bhagavad Geetha, and Leadership) in the work life and another 4 dimensions (Family, Social, Financial – aka ARDHA and Ethics & Beliefs – aka DHARMA) in the home life for a total of 8 dimensions in the Outer life. With the 3 dimensions of body, mind and spirit/soul in the Inner life; you now have eleven dimensions overall to deal with and achieve harmony, joy and success in your life.

When Buddha began his teachings, his intention was to lead us into a realm of awareness so that we are awakened to Buddha’s insight and wisdom. Through this awareness, we can strive to become equals to the Buddha. Prince Siddhartha became the Buddha because he had realized the truth of life in the universe (self-awareness). With perfect compassion, he then proceeded to teach all being about this truth thus helping others to achieve enlightenment (enlighten others). Therefore, he is truly an enlightened person who possesses the quality of self-awareness, the ability to enlighten others, and complete enlightenment.

Increasing your self-awareness and living authentically takes time, practice, and patience - but the rewards are well worth it! It’s a very spiritual journey. It connects you to your Self, to your family, to your community, and to the world. I hope that you will join me in these articles to explore and share this enlightenment to achieving inner peace spiritually.