Leadership in Life

Any leader on the path to success can benefit from this mindset. So, this week, I am sharing this article that came from an Association that I am affiliated with. (Next week, I am going to share an excerpt from the book that is referenced in this article.)

You have probably heard some excellent leadership speeches in your time. Powerful leaders talking about the importance of having a vision, how to lead with charisma, creating the best environment for a team, communicating effectively, exhibiting integrity, generating passion for a mission, etc.

Recently, there was one such speech that appeared quite different, yet all of the above wouldn't be possible without the one quality it references. This speech has been attributed to Charlie Chaplin, yet research points to a re-translation of "When I Loved Myself Enough" by Kim McMillen.

Its theme is elegant, yet simple: Love. How does love figure in to being an effective leader? In more ways than you have probably thought. The characteristics that spring from love help to build a solid foundation for a good leader: authenticity, respect, maturity, self-confidence, simplicity, modesty, fulfillment, and more. These traits are necessary in leading yourself, your team, and your business.

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

Ten Motivating Factors That Work Wonders With Employee Performance

This article is a continuation of the last week’s posting on accountability.

A study at MIT showed that monetary incentives are great for routine, mechanical work. But how does it play when talking about cognitive, advanced tasks? Not well at all. Watch this super cool animation and get a better understanding on how the labor force will react in 5 to 10 years.

A very common myth of the past was that the best way to motivate an employee is through monetary rewards. The truth is that money can be a good motivator if it is applied in context with other factors. Money alone never works. Sooner or later they will be back for more and if you don’t have it or want to give it to them someone else always has deeper pockets than you. Motivating employee performance involves a number of factors.

The main by-product of motivation is to create enough goodwill so the employee performs to their optimum ability; thereby optimizing the overall productivity of an organization. Here are some factors, in no particular order, that have proven to work wonders:

1. Personal appreciation – a warm personal ‘thank you for a job well done’ can go a very long way in motivating an employee to put in his best. For best results, ensure that you do this with utmost sincerity and at exactly the right time.

2. Acknowledge efforts in public – a good way to motivate all employees is to acknowledge in public the achievement of every employee who does a good job. This instills pride in the employee who is praised in public and makes others wish to be in his shoes.

3. Provide Conducive work environment – promote an open and friendly work culture. Crush gossip, bullying, politicking, ‘groupism’ and all such factors that interfere with the work atmosphere. Your employees should look forward to come to work, not hate it.

4. Performance appraisal – people need to know what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong. Set up performance appraisals at regular intervals and let employees know where they can improve and what they are doing well.

5. Appropriate reward – a good worker should always be rewarded so she feels valued and important. Whether this is with a personal ‘thank you’ card, or a special incentive, or a raise – rewards should not only be given, but also these need to be tailored it gives the employee the most joy.

6. Encourage dialogue – set up an open-door policy where anyone who wants to say something can walk up to you and say it. Make people comfortable talking to you, bringing their suggestions, feedback, demands and worries to you directly. And listen.

7. Down delegate authority – employees work best when they feel trusted with authority and added responsibilities. Down delegate authority and abstain from micro-managing so the employee is empowered in their role.

8. Participatory decision-making – leaving certain policy matters aside, the best is to have your employees participate in all decision-making processes. In this way, they would feel ownership in the company and would work better.

9. Celebrate together – celebrate together every milestone of the company or team. Let them build that feeling of “all are for one and one is for all”. Everyone wants to be part of something, use that to help motivate your team.

10. Encourage family-time – putting in long hours in the work place does not mean enhanced productivity. Encourage people to go home in time; to enjoy quality time with their families; to attain a balance between home and work.

Happy New You in 2011

Life is a blackboard upon which we consciously or unconsciously write those messages which govern us. We hold the chalk and the eraser in our hand but are ignorant of this fact. What we now experience we need not continue to experience but the hand which holds the erasure must do its neutralizing work. ~ Ernest Holmes

 

As you enter into the New Year, I invite you to ask yourself this question: What’s new about me in 2011? If you are like many people you may look in the mirror and say… “There is nothing new that I can see; same old face… same old hands…same old body...same old aches and pains…same old relationships…same old job. Essentially, I see the same old me.”

I propose it doesn’t have to be that way because change is always constant - we just aren’t aware of it. Even down to the molecular level, change is continually happening. However, if the belief system that creates the template into which life’s energy flows is the “same old” mold as it was last year, life has no alternative but to give us a replay of last year. This is true at the level of the physical body as well as the body of our emotions and relationships. Life is energy seeking a place to happen. You are the conduit through which it happens. Energy is not choosing “how” it manifests in your life - you make that choice. I believe that’s what Holmes was saying - we hold the power to change our future by understanding that while we can’t change the past; we can choose not to recreate it by dragging it into the future. Recently, I heard someone saying aloud, “The future isn’t what it used to be.” The reality is the future will exactly be how it used to be until we learn to consciously pick up the eraser and the chalk.

We have the ability to inscribe something new on the blackboard of life in 2011. Metaphorically, we hold the chalk and the eraser because we have freewill and the ability to choose again. Sadly, however, most people are unaware of the amazing creative power they wield when they couple their intentional thoughts and deepest beliefs with a universal law that says, “It’s done unto you as you believe.” This is why I don’t play the New Year resolution game because it’s dealing in willpower, which is working at the level of effect (from the outside-in) rather than cause (from the inside-out). Essentially, willpower won’t sustain us for the long haul because it’s being held in place only by the conscious mind and that part of the mind tends to get distracted, bored, tired and restless, and then it’s off in some other direction which is generally counterproductive to our deepest desires. We have to go beyond the conscious mind and work at the level of our most deeply held beliefs about the way things “are” and the way they can be.

So, where do we start? How do we embrace what it means to be able to redesign 2011 by inscribing something new and improved on the blackboard of life? We have to be willing to go where we have not gone before, to move beyond the old mindset. What better time than right now? While this exercise could be done on a computer, I recommend doing it with paper and pencil to provide a more visceral/tactile experience. Using a pencil with an eraser, draw a vertical line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side of the paper write down the experiences you have had in the past year that you would like not to recreate again in 2011. On the right side of the paper, adjacent to each of those statements, write down what you would like to see as your reality in the next twelve months. Each time you write down a new awareness in the right column, erase one in the left column you wish to release. With each erasure feel the “lightness of being” that comes with the knowing you don’t have to recreate the same experience next year. Spend as much time as possible lightly holding the new view of your life and try to embody the feelings you will have when you arrive at that vision. For now don’t concern yourself with how this will happen. Once you are clear on the what, the universe will guide you in the actions required to manifest the how. Realize that in this process you have just taken hold of the chalk and the eraser. You hold the power.

Happy New You!

What Defines Leadership?

The search for the characteristics or traits of leaders has been ongoing for centuries. Yet, defining leadership has been challenging and definitions can vary depending on the situation. Here are a few:

• We have conceived of leadership... as the tapping of existence and potential motive and power basis of followers by leaders, for the purpose of achieving an intended change...
• Though leadership may be hard to define, the one characteristic common to all leaders is their ability to make things happen...
• Leadership can be defined as the will to control events, the understanding to chart a course and the power to get a job done, cooperatively using the skill and abilities of other people...
• Leadership is the ability to get men and women to do what they don't want to do or like to do...
• Leadership appears to be the art of getting others to want to do something you are convinced should be done...

The world is evolving at every second. Everything is being touched by this accelerated pace of change. No person, entity, industry, profession, and no part of the world or any business can escape the relentless pull of the future into the present moment.

Business leaders need to chart an effective course into the future even though they don't have a clue what their organizations will look like tomorrow let alone next year. Many business leaders are mired down in philosophies, strategies and approaches that were the standards held years ago when the rules and the world were more predictable.

The rules are changing - and the rules that are determining the rules are changing.

We are living in a crazy, frenzied time in history. The roller coaster left the starting point several years ago and it is poised for yet another rapid decent - challenging what we know, believe, feel and have forecasted. The smooth ride of the past is nothing more than a distant memory for most of us. Never again will we know what is around the next corner or where or how the ride will end.

How, then, can today's executive, business owner and manager predict what their vision of what tomorrow will look like with any degree of accuracy? It's anybody's guess what the next several years will create, manifest, modify, re-define or even destroy. What you can do is: stay loose, flexible, positive and optimistic. What you want to avoid is: remaining stuck in yesterday's paradigms, attitudes, philosophies and strategies.

What are some of the specific things to avoid as we move into the future?

• Believing that what worked last year or yesterday will work today or tomorrow.
• Thinking that what you thought yesterday about the future will come to pass.
• Status-quo thinking.
• Conventional wisdom or thinking.
• Using yesterday's results as a benchmark for tomorrow.
• Refusing to think out of the box.

Spend some time considering how all of this is impacting your ability to manage successfully.

Let's close things up with what eight of the most common leadership myths:

1. To lead you have to have followers. Leadership does not imply that you have to be in front of a group. If you are the only person working in a department you can still demonstrate leadership attitudes.
2. You can study your way to effective leadership. You can attend hundreds of leadership seminars, retreats, programs, and read all of the books on leadership -- even pay for leadership coaching. Unless you are willing to let go of some of your beliefs, attitudes, prejudices, opinions or paradigms you can have all of the leadership knowledge in the world and still fail as a leader. Just look around you! This doesn't mean that you shouldn't receive leadership training, but it does mean that education is not enough, it takes wisdom, understanding and execution.
3. That to be a leader you have to be in charge of something or someone. Leadership is not position. You can be the receptionist and have a leadership attitude about your roles and responsibilities. You can be in sales and have a leadership style and mindset.
4. You have to be a senior citizen with gray hair to be an effective leader. I know many executives who are still in their twenties and are model leaders.
5. Tenure or longevity equates to effective leadership capabilities. Just because you may have been with your organization for over thirty years does not mean you are an effective leader. Any success you might have had could have been timing, luck, pure effort, will or any combination of these.
6. Position or title equates to leadership. Just because you may be the CEO, President or top executive does not mean you have leadership attitudes or skills. There are a lot of executives running organizations today that I would not classify as good or even acceptable leaders.
7. Leaders have to be willing to do any task that any of your employees are asked to do. Sure if the floor is dirty and the Janitor is sick and not at work someone needs to sweep the floor. But is it really your responsibility to show your employees that you are not above this task? Your employees want a leader they can respect and trust not a back-up for the janitorial staff.
8. Leadership is an endowment or an education process. Leadership, trust, respect and confidence are earned and not a set of mastered skill sets.

Why is Self Awareness important?

Knowing yourself is essential if you want to change your life for the better. Know what you are good at, and where you need to improve on. With Self Awareness, it will be easy for you to seek a career in which you can excel in; you can enrich your life because you know in which direction you should go to; you will know what you want, and because of this awareness, you will be a happier person, living the life you want for yourself and living your values and realizing your dreams.

If you want to change your life in any way, you need to know yourself before you can act. You need to know what you need to do to head in the right direction and you can't do that until you know yourself.


Becoming self aware does not mean being selfish though. There is a huge difference between being self aware and being selfish. Selfishness is all about thinking only of yourself and being greedy, while Self-awareness is positive because by developing and knowing yourself, you can give more of yourself to other people, which will result in establishing stronger relationships, and at the same time, building your confidence and self esteem.


Self-awareness is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we are empowered to make changes and to build on our areas of strength as well as identify areas where we would like to make improvements. Self-awareness is often a first step to goal setting.

Why is Increasing Your Self-awareness & Living Authentically Difficult?

 

Increasing your Self-awareness is about living authentically and overcoming your fears. As a child, you may have been encouraged to conform or face the consequences! Most people conform... and lose themselves in the process.

Increasing your Self-awareness is a journey full of failures and successes. Finding your identity is a process with no real end point. That is, you'll never be "done" because you're always growing and changing - and so are the people around you.

Authentic living and Self-awareness is about expressing honest thoughts, feelings, and opinions without condemning or judging others - and it's difficult! Overcoming fear is key.

You may have been hurt. You may have been betrayed, terrified, and even abused. Assaults are difficult to survive when they are committed by strangers - but when people who are supposed to love you, hurt you, it's even harder to bounce back. Living authentically and finding your identity involves dealing with your past and forgiving others.

You may have hurt others. You may have betrayed friends, partners, and family; maybe you have even terrified and abused them. Everyone has hurt other people, to different degrees. These cycles of pain and destruction make it difficult to open up and trust again. Increasing your Self-awareness is about facing your mistakes.

You watch the media and see images of perfection, which doesn't encourage you to live authentically, with all your imperfections! The gorgeous models, rock singers and movie stars look flawless. Increasing your Self-awareness means knowing these images of perfection are impossible to live up to. Finding your identity means letting the quest for perfection go. Authentic living isn't about being perfect.

Have you let go of expectations of your parents, family, supervisors, professors, or mentors? Most likely, you haven’t. As a child, you were encouraged to color between the lines, fit in, and be "a big boy/girl" - but you are not always encouraged to overcome your fears and live authentically. Now, as you become an adult you are expected to be politically correct, mature, and responsible. Finding your identity means letting go of others' expectations.

Increasing your Self-awareness and living authentically is a lifelong journey of self-discovery.

Questions to Ponder When You are Increasing Your Self-Awareness:

·        What makes your heart leap or your soul resonate?

·        When do you feel most happy and relaxed? Finding your identity is knowing what makes you, "YOU."

·        What is the first thought or feeling that pops into your head when you encounter a song, person, memory, or experience? Finding your identity involves being Self-aware.

Living Authentically Involves Negative Feelings

·        When – and with whom – do you feel depressed, sad, or drained? Finding your identity involves avoiding those situations.

·        When do you feel physically ill or unhealthy? Authentic living means figuring that out, and avoiding those situations.

·        What meetings, visits, or events do you find yourself dragging yourself to? Increasing your Self-awareness is about limiting or eliminating those circumstances.

Increasing your Self-awareness and living authentically takes time, practice, and patience - but the rewards are well worth it!

How do I become more Self Aware? 

In order to develop Self-awareness, you have to look deep inside yourself and ask some critical questions... 

"What do I believe in?" 

"What is important to me?" 

"What do I love and/or enjoy?" 

"What are my strengths/weaknesses?" 

"What do I want to achieve in my life?" 

The answers to these questions will not come easy. To develop Self-awareness, you must reflect on and digest the real meaning behind each question. Don't just look at the surface. When you are sincerely involved with each question, and tune into how the answers can truly shape the course of your life - as basic as they may seem - you will tap into what makes you who you really are and learn what you are capable of growing into. But these questions are just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more we can all learn and appreciate about ourselves. 

Why is Self-Awareness the 1st Step in Having a Meaningful Life? 

Self-awareness is critical in how you view the world and its opportunities. The quality of the life you lead is determined almost entirely by your perspective. We consciously and unconsciously judge every experience we have against our perception of what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad, etc. Even though this isn't a bad thing, sometimes it can make us all too critical of ourselves and our lives. 

Perspective is everything. It is how you analyze and judge every part of your life - past, present, and future. Your perspective helps you make sound decisions based on how you see and compare different things. For example: Some of us will never know the thrill of skydiving, because from one perspective, it is far too dangerous. For others, though, it is no more dangerous than, say, driving a vehicle. And so, the thrill makes the experience more than worth the risk for these individuals. Granted, this example is a mere difference in personal preference, but you can see my point - perspective dictates our choices! 

Your perspective can also cause you to judge conditions of your life and experiences too harshly. For example: Let's say you only define success in terms of money, houses, and cars. As such, if you don't currently make $100,000 a year, live in a mansion, and drive a Mercedes, you will consider yourself to be unsuccessful. 

"I'm just not good enough!" 

"Why can't I be like... ” 

"I can't do anything right!" 

"I'm just worthless." 

"You can't get anywhere in this world!" 

Perspectives such as these cause us to be overly critical of ourselves. As a result we begin to live our lives in comparison to everyone and everything else. With this frame of mind, we often tell ourselves, "I should have done this... I could have done that... If only I had this... If only I did that... " This is where life loses its meaning- we live each day of our lives trying to "catch up" to where we think we should be. And consequently, we are never happy with where we are. 

So how do we correct this? The answer is to look at our lives from the perspective of progress and potential. Recognize the progress you have already made in your life, and recognize the potential you have to be and do even more.

Are you a good mother?

Congratulations! Now, excel at it and teach others.

Are you a good writer?

Wonderful! Excel at it and enlighten others.

Are you a good mechanic?

Awesome! Excel at it and help others.

These are the things we need to recognize in ourselves and use to enhance our lives and the lives of others. This comes with Self-awareness.

How do I change my perspective? 

To change your perspective, you have to know and understand where your perspective comes from. How did you develop the opinions you have about yourself and about the world? What makes you feel the way you do about this and that? Who or what do you often compare yourself to? Is there another way you can look at your situation? What could you be missing? Are you keeping an open mind? Are you looking for the positive or just focusing on the negative? What are the pros and cons of the life you lead, right now? 

Realize you can't be happy with life if you're not happy with yourself. How can you know where you truly need to be, when you don't even know who you really are? Know who YOU are, and know what YOU are capable of, and dedicate your life to doing THAT. Don't put yourself down because you're not like someone else. You were never meant to be someone else - ONLY YOU! An incredible, confident, unique and powerful YOU! 

Just think about it... 

What skills have you learned? 

What talents/abilities do you have? 

What do you enjoy? 

What could you teach others? 

What would you enjoy doing for others? 

We can no longer live our lives by comparison. We must be willing to look at ourselves individually, to develop the best of who WE are. That is the secret. It's okay to look around you and be motivated to do and achieve greater things. That's part of how we learn what we, as humans, are capable of and subsequently gain the courage to expect more of ourselves. 

At some point, however, you have to stop working to be like everyone else you admire and begin to admire YOURSELF. That is GROWTH. That is PROGRESS. That is the root of happiness. That is what we call Self Actualization. 

This "knowledge of self" gives you the POWER TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE! With it, you can choose to harness the traits you value most in yourself, and gain a greater sense of self-acceptance, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction in what you do. You can also choose to recognize those traits within yourself that are contrary to what you value, and make a conscious choice to improve on them. 

The goal of Self-awareness is to help you recognize the person you are, so you can lead yourself in the direction of positive change. Help yourself become the best you can be, and find joy in each and every step you take in that direction. Your perception of yourself will begin to change, as will your perception of your life and life as a whole. This is the beginning of finding true meaning in life.

Now, I know how this may sound initially, but once you begin to understand why it is that the majority experience continual stress, anxiety, fears, and limited outcomes in their lives, perhaps it will give you the initiative to try something different than what you have been.

It's not difficult but it will transform your entire life IF you'll allow it to. Developing Self-awareness will enable and empower you to become a conscious and purposeful creator of the events, conditions and circumstances that make up your life unlike the majority who believe themselves to be victims or creatures of circumstance.

Whether or not you realize it at this point, the results that you experience in your life every minute of each and every day are based totally on your predominant thought processes, the pre-established beliefs you hold, as well as the emotions experienced as a result of them and what you have come to understand and "perceive" as truth. It is absolute that your life can only become as fulfilled or produce effects consciously and purposefully based on the level of Self-awareness or the lack of, that you possess.

While in many cases this can prove to be a very positive and rewarding truth, it can also, depending on what you have been previously taught to be true with regard to who and what you are, severely limit your abilities to enjoy and experience all of the limitless blessings, an "Infinite Supply" in fact, that life has to offer.

The depth of Self-awareness that we are discussing goes far beyond what most perceive themselves to be which is a physical body existing in a physical world. We are digging deeper than just the physical you and discovering the "true" essence of you that is the ultimate cause for what shows up in the way of events, conditions and circumstances in your life.

While the physical aspects of you are obviously an important and necessary part of the "Real You" that is only a very small part. Whether you currently realize it or not there is another aspect of you that will enable the physical you to experience far greater outcomes in the physical world once you acquire the Self-awareness that will enable you to recognize and utilize it.

You'll soon discover that the you that you "perceive", which is strictly physical in nature is very limited and subject to external events, conditions and circumstances in life limited by physical capability without recognizing and becoming aware of your "True" essence. A "True" sense and understanding of Self-awareness will reveal that you are in reality an "Infinite Being" with Infinite Potential existing in an Infinite Universe.

Self-awareness isn't always easy to achieve--it takes some real commitment to look at parts of yourself that you may not want to see--but the effort is well worth it in terms of opportunities for personal growth and happiness. 

These capabilities are difficult to develop and even more difficult to optimize.  We all know of people who have difficulty recognizing their emotions, the triggers that cause them to respond emotionally, or who are handicapped by their emotions.  Likewise, we know people who are misinformed or even “oblivious” about their abilities and limitations.  They seem to avoid or ignore feedback and have little interest in improving.  We also know people who are delusional in regard to a lack or over abundance of confidence.

Having understood the meaning and the importance of Self-awareness, we will start discussing in the next few weeks, how we can utilize these concepts in balancing our Life Wheel.

In the meantime, I welcome you to share your Self-awareness story on this blog and I promise to read your story.

What is Self-Awareness?

Socrates said:  “Know Thyself.”

His message was that, unless you are willing to take an honest look at how you have been living your life and the results you have been creating, you are doomed to repeat the same results over and over again, with no prospect of progress or growth.

In psychology, the concept of “Self-Awareness” is defined as a form of intelligence, and an understanding of one’s own knowledge, attitudes, and opinions. Self-awareness is the concept that ONE exists as an individual, separate from other people, with private thoughts. It may also include the understanding that other people are similarly self-aware. Self-awareness, in the simplest terms, is the discovery of one’s own personality. It allows us to discover ourselves; our likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and our own individuality.

The eminent psychologist, Daniel Goleman defined Self-awareness as “the ability to recognize and understand one’s moods, emotions and drives, as well as their effect on others.” He identified Self-awareness as the number one component in Emotional Intelligence (EI).

Self-Awareness is comprised of three specific capabilities: Self-confidence, Accurate Self-assessment and Emotional Self-awareness. A greater understanding of each of these capabilities will provide a basis for development.

·     Self-confidence allows us to have a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities. It is characterized by personal attributes such as assertiveness, optimism, enthusiasm, affection, pride, independence, trust, the ability to handle criticism and emotional maturity. A balance in self-confidence, not too much or too little, is important and directly affects one’s opportunity to achieve success in any endeavor. As is true of all strengths, when taken to excess, they become liabilities.

·     Individuals who are capable in Accurate Self-assessment are acutely aware of their abilities and limitations, seek out feedback and learn from their mistakes, and know where they need to improve and when to work with others who have complementary strengths. Accurate Self-assessment was the competence found in virtually every successful “star performer.” That’s because these people are more likely to pay attention to all forms of feedback and make necessary modifications to their behavior in order to achieve their goals.

·     Emotional Self-awareness is the recognition of one’s own feelings and how they affect one’s performance. The better you understand yourself, the better you are able to accept or change who you are. Being in the dark about yourself means that you will continue to get caught up in your own internal struggles and allow outside forces to mold and shape you.

Emotional Intelligence begins with this Self-awareness. People with a high degree of Self-awareness know their weaknesses and are not afraid to talk about them. For example, someone who understands that he works poorly under tight deadlines will work hard to plan his time carefully and will let his colleagues know why. It is very important not to mistake such candor for ‘wimpiness’.

So, this is how Self-awareness is defined:

Develop the understanding and recognize the importance of gaining Self-awareness... an understanding of who and what you "Truly" are and what is truly available to you and your quality of life will transcend the majority in EVERY aspect.

Now, let’s analyze it a little bit more. Self-awareness is about knowing who you are. It is the ability to define yourself in terms of the way you think, the way you feel, your wants, your needs, your values, your personal beliefs, your strengths, your weaknesses, your expectations and your aspirations. In a sense, self-awareness is about understanding just how unique you are, and how your uniqueness adds value to the world, as you continually grow and change. 

Self-awareness is a way for us to explore our individual personalities, value systems, beliefs, natural inclinations, and tendencies.  Because we are all different in the way we react to things, learn, and synthesize information, it’s helpful to occasionally spend time in self-reflection to gain a better insight into ourselves.

Self-awareness remains a critical mystery in philosophy, psychology, biology, and other sciences. Self-awareness is a unique type of consciousness, in that it is not always present.

“Knowing Others is Wisdom, Knowing Yourself is Enlightenment.” - Tao Tzu

Knowing one’s self is the key to unlocking the greatest mystery we encounter in life – who we are and why we are here. Self-awareness is about discovering our innermost being; exploring what makes us tick; how we feel about this all and determining where we let it take us. The more technical definition of Self-awareness is “knowing who you are and understanding why we think, feel and behave the way we do.” Without a higher degree of this set of capabilities we are doomed to wander endlessly in a quagmire of our own emotions with little hope of escape and suffer the results of less than effective relationships.

Self-awareness Theory states that when we focus our attention on ourselves, we evaluate and compare our current behavior to our internal standards and values. We become self-conscious as objective evaluators of ourselves. Various emotional states are intensified by self-awareness, and some people sometimes try to reduce or escape it while some people may seek to increase their self-awareness.

People are more likely to align their behavior with their standards when made self-aware. People will be negatively affected if they don’t live up to their personal standards. Various environmental cues and situations induce awareness of the self, such as mirrors, an audience, or being videotaped or recorded. These cues also increase accuracy of personal memory.

Self-awareness is the awareness of the self as separate from the thoughts that are occurring at any point in time. Without self-awareness the self perceives and believes the thoughts that are occurring to be who the self is. Self-awareness gives one the option or choice to choose thoughts being thought rather than simply thinking the thoughts that are stimulated from the accumulative events leading up to the circumstances of the moment.

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self-awareness you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.

In summary, Self-awareness means becoming aware of yourself -- your limitations, emotionally and physically and your learning challenges. 

Being self aware is knowing:

·     what you want in your life

·     your strengths and weaknesses

·     what motivates you and what makes you happy

·     what you want to change about yourself or about your life

·     your achievements so far

·     how you relate to others

·     you need to improve as a person

·     your most important beliefs and values

·     how you see yourself as a person 

In the next article, I will discuss the importance of achieving the Self-awareness as a pre-cursor to balancing one’s life.

In the meantime, I encourage you to share your Self-awareness story on this blog and I promise to read your experiences.