Are you out of control with the daily drama of the Dow (DJI)?

Often fear originates in our mind because, as much as we try, we have little control over the future. And, the future is where we tend to look for our security, seeking the assurance that everything will be all right. The illusion is that we have control over many variables in our daily life and that seems to make us feel better, at least temporarily. However, we really have no control over anything, other than our next breath and our next thought.

I know of very few people who are not being severely affected by the economic roller coaster roaring through Wall Street and into our daily lives-it is, without doubt, a very frightening ride; the fear of loss and being out of control is palpable. Since the financial meltdown of 2008 I have been observing how the ups and downs of the stock market affect people’s sense of well-being. In some regards the Dow Jones Index (here in after, I’ll just call it Dow) is similar to a barometer that reports the amount of fear pulsating through the collective consciousness. In the financial industry they actually make a practice of measuring these pulsations using a gauge called the VIX (Volatility Index). It is often referred to as the fear index or the fear gauge because it represents one measure of the market's expectation of stock market volatility over the next 30 days. Talk about forecasting our future based on the energy of fear and expectation of loss. The result is, for many, the Dow is like a “reverse” biofeedback device that, rather than detecting how we are feeling, tells us how we should be feeling each day; when the Dow is up it gives us cause to feel good - when the Dow is down it gives us cause to feel a bit down as well. Metaphorically speaking this is like the tail wagging the dog. No wonder we feel so out of control.

If the drama of the Dow has got you feeling down... and up... and down, it is safe to say you are not alone. What is happening on the Wall Street (and in Washington DC, as well as around the world) stirs up our fears because it brings us to the very edge of not knowing what the future holds reminding us that we are not nearly as much in control of our lives we think we are. What I do know is this: While we may not have control over the dramatic events unfolding before our eyes, we have absolute control of what is going on behind our eyes. In other words, we can choose to either respond or react to the mystery of the moment and that choice will determine how we experience the roller coaster ride. The primary reason the drama of the Dow is so volatile is that the system is hardwired to operate reactively, triggered by the fear and the perception of loss rather than faith and expectation of increase. How do you perceive life in this moment? Self-inquiry is a sound spiritual practice you might want to employ as you take a look at how you approach life today. Are you mindlessly and fearfully reacting to or mindfully and faithfully responding to what you see and hear on the six-o’clock news? It’s never too late to change how you perceive what is. (You may want to read a couple of postings I made recently on my Facebook page – on 1. Perceptions – URL: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=254789771212592&set=a.158130517545185.36519.100000447132850&type=1&theater  and 2. Mindfullness - URL: https://www.facebook.com/notes/drsurya-m-ganduri/mindfulness/197322030327608.)

The primary difference between mindfully responding as opposed to mindlessly reacting is that by responding we create an intentional gap (or space) in time and mind where we can breathe and pull ourselves out of the future and anchor ourselves in the present moment long enough to become the detached observer of our own thoughts and feelings before we say or do anything. The “response gap” is a sacred space whereby hitting the emotional “pause button” we consciously create an opening for the presence of the Divine to be revealed within us. Will seeing the drama of the Dow through the eyes of Infinite Intelligence give us more control over the uncertainties of the stock market? Not necessarily, but it will absolutely give us control over our own thinking process in the present moment which is our only true point of power. When we are present in the moment we are led to make clear minded choices which can include the mindfulness practice of knowing what and when to let go of that which causes us to suffer.

Reconciling what we have control over and what we don’t have control over is the first step to making peace with what is. There always has been and shall continue to be the metaphoric roller coaster rides in life, be it the stock market, the weather, or any of the other millions of variables over which we really have no control. Perhaps there is greater wisdom than we know in the ancient saying, “This too shall pass.” It’s true - anything that has a beginning must also have an end, including the current cycle of economic uncertainty. That awareness may take a bit of the power away from those who worship the god of the VIX.

If the drama of the Dow has you feeling down and a bit out of control, gently guide yourself back to the remembrance of the Divine Essence from which you came, which  is also the ultimate source of all that is. You are one with the source of your good so focus on what you do have control over - your next breath and your next thought. May it be one that brings you peace in this moment... after all, it’s really all there is, so why not breathe and enjoy the ride.

Paralysis by Action

We've all heard it or seen it. The analyzer that needs to run just one more test, develop one more contingency plan before doing anything.  They get so mired in the details that they hesitate to take action.

What about Paralysis through Action? Seems impossible, right? If I'm doing, how can I be paralyzed?

I was talking to an entrepreneur about his decision-making style and it was clear that he was highly practical. The highly extrinsic, or practical, is always concerned with doing. They might just ship a bunch of material to a jobsite and begin working on a house without even a set of blueprints. This entrepreneur owns four businesses - one of them in India - and is constantly involved in his teams' projects and tasks. He's doing a lot, so he should be highly successful. But is he?

Yes, he makes money. Yes, he has four businesses that are productive. Through our discussion, he realized that while he knew he was moving fast down the highway, he really didn't have a clear picture of where he wanted to go. He likened it to going to Rockford from Chicago and taking side trips to Schaumburg, Naperville, De Kalb, etc. He might NEVER get to Rockford!

This is what I mean by "Paralysis by Action."

What do you think? Do you think it can really happen? Any examples?  I'd love to hear them.

Are you an Empathic Listener?

In a TV interview sometime ago, Stephen Covey described his The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People as guiding principles that "…encourage people to take a mindful approach to life - not letting trivial urgencies of day-to-day life get in the way of the most important things."

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is indeed a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. Its philosophy is that human beings can take control of their own destinies by how they react to life and external factors, and that they will achieve happiness, success and spiritual fulfillment if they adopt the seven habits Covey advocates.

In this article, I am only going to focus on the listening habits. Covey says that "most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand." Because we are so eager to get our own point of view across, we tend not to listen properly to what the other person is saying. If we can first understand what the speaker's point of view is, it will be easier for us to respond in a positive and mutually beneficial way.

Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus, you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.

Covey then recommends listening to others (habits 4-6) in order to become aware of the values and goals of others. This enables you to find common ground and thus maintain productive relationships with them.

Covey also recommends regularly seeking to improve (habit 7) and reinforce yourself in ways that are important to you.

According to Covey, when we are speaking to anyone we are usually in one of the five “Listening States” -

1.           Ignoring: – Not Listening

2.           Pretend Listening: – We have all done this, saying “yeah”, “uh-huh”

3.           Selective Listening: – Listening strictly to parts of the conversations and strictly from our point of view.

4.           Attentive Listening: – Focusing and paying attention to the words

5.           Empathetic Listening: – Listening from the other persons point of view, and seeing the world from the others persons perspective.

Most people think that Empathic Listening takes too much time; I have found that with time it becomes natural and you start to automatically do it. It all begins with practice and the dividends you will receive for this are enormous.

Empathic Listening is essential to effective communication. Covey emphasizes the importance, the power, and in some situations the necessity of not merely going through the mechanical responses that might be required for ordinary listening, but opening oneself to the talker to the point where one can actually feel what they are feeling. Covey, as others, believes that the only way to establish communication in some professional and personal situations is by becoming, in small part, the person you are listening to. He uses the words "sensing" (others call it "intuition") to describe the information a listener can perceive through deep, empathic listening. The experience Covey describes, standing for a moment in another's shoes and listening to the world through their ears is something everyone is capable of, but most of us rarely (if ever) deliberately do. It takes time to listen empathically and practice to become adept at it, but the reward is a whole new level of communication and problem solving because a person acquires the ability to see a situation simultaneously from multiple points of view.

Most people take the advice to “Listen” literally and are confused when the conversation dies or does not go anywhere. This is because “Listening” is a means to an end, not an end. Listening allows you to absorb information about the following:

a.           What is important to the other person and

b.           What the other person wants to talk about

At the end of the day, remember – listening is one of the most important parts of possessing excellent Social Skills. However, it is a means to an end and the end is to find out what the other person wants to talk about and what is important to the other person. Listen > Find out what these things are > Let them talk about it > Put yourself in their shoes (Empathic Listening) and talk about what you would do or answer the question from your own point of view (Selective Listening) and create a meaningful conversation.

Listening is essential to effectiveness as a speaker. Covey also points out that to be an effective speaker one has to absorb feedback from (listen to) one's audience and adjust one's presentations according to what works most effectively for them.

So, next time, when you are engaging in a conversation, practice empathetic listening; it will get you far in life.

How To Stay The Course In The Face Of Any Difficult

When I imagine what it looks like to live a balanced life, two thoughts come to mind. The first is the "Jack theory": All work and no play makes for a cranky Jack. All this and no that - too much of this and too little of that - just doesn't work. The challenge here is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and want to do. We need to carve out time for the serious stuff, as well as play.

The other way to live a balanced life has more to do with going with the flow - not letting the inevitable glitch in our day throw us off-balance, sending us careening off course. It's about staying balanced. In other words, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still "go wrong" with it. When lucky, we experience a minor glitch - a glitch so small and short-lived that you hardly notice it, a transient fault that corrects itself. However, there are the times when a hornet's nest of difficulties presents itself, and you need to change course immediately, lest you get knocked on your bottom!

Here are some guidelines on how you can "root" yourself in balance, enabling you to smile and stay the course, even in the face of the inevitable hiccup, glitch or major league malfunction.

Some Tips for Living a Well-Balanced Life

1.    Wake Up Happy. Your first thoughts are the most powerful and the strongest. They can set a tone for the day. You can easily train yourself to begin each and every day with a positive thought. Begin to pay attention to your waking thoughts. If they are not "happy" or useful thoughts, change them. In the place between being asleep and fully awake, note your thoughts and change them if you have to. If your thoughts are positive and useful, embrace them: "Today, I am going to get organized and 'motor' through the day with great, happy energy" versus, "OMG! It’s Monday. Another day, another dollar." Get my drift?

2.    Take Care Of You. I promise you that your health is the key ingredient to all! They don't say "If you've got your health, you've got everything" for nothing! It's the truth. You simply cannot function in high gear if you don't get the right amount of rest, exercise or good, healthy eats (e.g. real food, not processed stuff). At some point, "it" will catch up with you.

3.    Plan Pretty. No, planning is not a dirty word, although you might think it is, based on the response I sometimes get when I stress the importance of planning. Do not stamp your feet like a three-year-old and say, "I don't like to plan." Keeping an organized calendar and planner tracking your appointments, your food and your workouts (i.e. movement, for the exercise phobic) leads to freedom. When you plan, you essentially dump your thoughts onto the page and organize them so they do not overwhelm you, which lead to a productive, relaxed kind of day. Instead of cringing at the thought of "planning," embrace it. Once again, planning presents a clear path out of an overwhelming situation and leads you toward the happy state of freedom.

4.    Set Priorities. Leading your "best life" does not mean that you need to be, or should try to be, perfect and do it all. It means that you self-reflect, known yourself and determine your true values. Not knowing who you are and what you want and trying to do everything is a recipe for burnout and disaster. Do not bite off more than you can chew!

5.    Stay Connected With Family And Friends. Another key ingredient to living a balanced life and staying "in balance" is your connection to your friends and family. However busy you may be, be sure to reach out to at least one friend or family member daily. Preferably, you would do this in real time, either in person or via telephone - not electronically! There's nothing like the real thing.

6.    Be Spontaneous. On the one hand, I do believe that planning equals freedom, as mentioned above. On the other hand, let's not get so rigid that we lose the ability to be spontaneous. If you suddenly have the urge to go for a long walk, go to a movie, hook up with a friend at lunchtime or feed the hummingbirds, then do so!

7.    Take Control Of Your Mind. Often we overwhelm ourselves with the silent words that flow through our mind every moment of the day. When you speak about being overwhelmed your thoughts and then your behaviors will follow. Guard your thoughts or else your life and your actions flow out of them. Create thoughts that banish the feeling of being overwhelmed.

8.    Stuff Happens; Expect The Unexpected. Have you ever had a day when something unexpected didn't happen? An unexpected phone call, unexpected traffic jam, a platter of pretty cupcakes being paraded in front of you or, maybe worse yet, a computer crash? Stuff happens, my friends. Stuff happens, big time! So expect the unexpected and just roll with it.

9.    Breathe Deep And Unwind. At the end of your glorious day, take a minute, or two, or 30 to unwind. Curl up with a good book, take a hot bath and listen to music that soothes or stirs your soul. Do nothing. Take in a few deep, cleansing breaths, congratulate yourself on a day well-lived and just plain relax.

What is the most important thing that you do to help you stay balanced, enabling you to go with the flow? 

Focusing your mind on a specific goal

The statement, “You can do anything you put your mind to,” leads us to believe that all you must do is imagine what you’d like to accomplish, set your mind to the task, and wait for success.

To a certain degree this is true. Focused intention combined with action is a powerful force. But the statement is misleading because it fails to mention the difficulty and necessity of focusing your mind on a specific goal.

Most of us don’t know what we want.

We think we do, but we really don’t.

We only know what we don’t want.

We don’t want a boring job.

We don’t want to be poor.

We don’t want to disappoint our loved ones.

Knowing specifically what you want is much different than knowing what you don’t want. When you only know what you don’t want, your intentions are not focused.

Consider this example.

John doesn’t want to be poor. He is sick of earning less than his friends, and he is determined to raise his status. To accomplish this goal, John could take many different paths. He could train for a high paying profession, such as doctor or lawyer. He could start his own company, go into real estate, or do many other things that would lead to acquiring wealth.

But John is not sure what he wants to do. He doesn’t know which path best fits his skills and personality, so he doesn’t resolve to follow any particular path.

Hoping to answer this question, he investigates a dozen possibilities, but as soon as he runs into adversity he decides that path is not for him and moves on to a new solution.

John’s actions are not focused. Although he works very hard, his efforts don’t build on each other. Rather than building one giant impenetrable sand castle, John has built twenty smalls ones that are easily toppled. He ends up confused and discouraged. Ultimately John’s lack of focus leads to failure.

Now, what if John had chosen a specific path? Suppose he decided on the medical profession. His actions would have been clearly defined:

Step One: Earn a Bachelor's Degree

Step Two: Take the Medical College Admissions Test

Step Three: Earning a Doctor of Medicine Degree

Step Four: Complete a Residency Program

Step Five: Obtain Licensure and Certification

A set of specific goals is much easier to achieve than a vague end goal like becoming wealthy. Being focused on a path gives John a logical set of actions to follow. Each accomplishment is one step closer to the final goal.

I think we can all agree that committing to a clearly defined path, regardless of which one, gives John the best chance of becoming wealthy.

But how can he choose a path if he doesn’t know what he wants? Maybe money is not his only goal. Maybe he wants to do something he loves at the same time. Maybe he can’t afford to go back to school. Reality is complicated, and John doesn’t want to commit too soon.

And that’s why he fails.

But I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. Most people don’t fit neatly into a predefined path. Forcing yourself into one may lead to success, but it probably won’t make you happy.

This is the point. If you want to be conventionally successful, to attain wealth and status, you need to choose a specific path (preferably something mainstream) and follow it to the letter.

On the other hand, if you are not particularly concerned with wealth or success, you can take your time searching for that perfect niche.

Just don’t wait too long to decide. Each moment you deliberate, your already committed competitors sprint further ahead.

But, then again, maybe life is not a race, and maybe the most interesting people follow a path all their own…

The Power of Thoughts, Words and Actions

We acquire knowledge, but we lack awareness. Awareness arises when knowledge accompanies action. Mere acquisition of knowledge does not mean that such knowledge will translate into action.

For instance, most of us know that if you smoke cigarettes, you are susceptible to cancer. Cigarette smokers see the statutory warning imprinted on the cigarette packs: ''Smoking is injurious to health’’. Nevertheless, they continue to smoke. But if one day, the smoker does begin to suffer from ill-health on account of his smoking, then, the knowledge turns into awareness - through direct experience - that smoking could indeed be injurious to health.

It is either because we lack this awareness or we are unable to translate awareness to action that we commit mistakes.

We should enjoy freedom and be enthusiastic every moment of our lives. Our lives should become a joyous celebration. But normally, you will only hear tales of sorrow. Attachment leads to sorrow.

One of the best ways to attain material prosperity, spiritual progress, peace and liberation is through meditation. Meditation is not just sitting motionless in perfect posture with closed eyes. Maintaining awareness of our actions, words and thoughts is real meditation.

Our thoughts are like countless water droplets that form a river of words and actions. We have little control over this river. It is so strong that it can even wash away huge boulders that lie in its path. However, it is easy to block or change the direction of a river’s flow at its source with just a stone. Therefore, we must be careful with our thoughts.

If there is a defect in a mould, everything that is made from that mould will be defective. In the same way, unless we first purify our minds, our words and actions will not be pure. Therefore, the first thing we have to do is to control our minds through meditation. And through discriminate actions we can become successful in life.

The root cause of our problems is the ego, but the ego does not have any objective existence. Only humility can help us get rid of our ego. When one says or thinks, ''I am the master’’, one is, in fact, becoming a slave to the ego.

The greatest obstacles to enjoying life are this kind of an attitude and self-centered thoughts. Because of this, we are unable to serve others.

The underlying love is the important link that unites society. Today, that link is weak. More and more individuals are isolating themselves from one another. We need to shower love on our children and enhance their awareness at the same time.

A plant in a dark room will grow in the direction of sunlight. Likewise, children yearn for love, acceptance and attention. We should revive the love that upholds family life, social life and nature. Bonding between family members, young and old, student and teacher and between members of society is important to help us reach out to one another, strengthening our links with one another.

Today, stress is common in every sphere of life. This is mainly because we are obsessed with our own selves - we are driven by our ego. Freedom from tension is possible only through surrender to God. He guides us from within. But we do not have the patience to pay attention to that divine voice. Because of this, we keep repeating our mistakes; we experience sorrow.

Arjuna and Krishna grew up together. Yet Krishna did not impart the Geetha to Arjuna during that time but waited for that moment when Arjuna awakened the disciple within him. To be a disciple is to surrender. Then everything in the cosmos becomes our guru. Every experience becomes our guru. But no amount of experience can help us realize our mistakes unless we cultivate and adopt the humility required to be able to surrender our selves.

The Astonishing Power of Gratitude

I was gratified by the overwhelming response to my recent Roundtable Discussion on the Astonishing Power of Gratitude held on Feb 28, 2011. At the end of the discussion, I requested my distinguished guests to send me any further thoughts that they were not able to share with the group due to lack of time (the discussion already was carried on for 30 minutes beyond the original schedule) or other reasons. One of the responses that I received was from Charles Prabakar, whom I had known for quite some time as a business colleague when we both worked for a big corporation several years ago. He still works in the corporate world as an Executive Global Partner and a Strategy Consultant.

Referring to the Gratitude as a high positive vibrational energy, Charles commented that whatever we may call it – energy, passion, matter and/or value – and in a way they all mean the same thing if you look at the universe within the context of Einstein’s vantage point that it all boils down to managing that energy whether it be external facing and/or internal facing. In this blog, I want to share the rest of his thoughts (he writes his own blog that I enjoy reading regularly and he is now appearing here as a guest writer) where he summarized the discussion that we had along with some of his stories derived from the three major spiritual works (or religions) of the world. So, here he goes…

First of all, I appreciate you taking the effort to organize a webinar on the topic of – POWER OF GRATITUDE, an important topic, that is often overlooked! The points you covered, especially within the context of good and evil – and how to overcome evil with goodness – using the power of FORGIVENESS is truly outstanding! As you rightly said, first and foremost – forgiveness is for our own good, and so, when we get that part correct, in our heads – there is lot more motivation on our end, to initiate the forgiveness process. However, the duration and intensity of the process varies from person to person (& situation to situation as well) – depending upon the degree of hurt and/or the pain caused by the other party.

If I might add one more thing to your point (you probably already covered it as the conference call line was disturbed a lot) – this is where, we have to show empathy and put ourselves in other person’s shoes and see why he/she might have caused the hurt. This type of introspection, I have seen opening many doors for forgiveness and then reconciliation. What I have learned in the process is – in most cases, the hurt is caused by mere “MISUNDERSTANDING/MISINTERPRETATION” of certain events – and the sad part is that people continue to carry these misunderstandings for years, because both parties fail to create a conducive and open/honest environment to listen and understand each other point of views. Failing to create such an open forum- invariably results in more misunderstandings (as one misunderstanding leads to the other) – and from that point onwards, both parties start misinterpreting even the good actions of each other. The reason for that misinterpretation is – these misunderstandings are furthered fueled by – blind beliefs in hearsays (e.g. he said, she said like stories) and cover-up attempts without properly checking the facts. Let us all remember the saying – what we hear may not necessarily true, what we see may not necessarily true, through verification of the facts within its context is what brings out the truth –as echoed by President Nixon in his famous quote– “Trust, but verify!”.

Speaking of this facts verification process, I am reminded of the old sheep story – where we put a stick in front of a sheep, first one will jump, the second one will follow the suit and then the third one does the same. Now if we take the stick off, the rest of the sheeps invariably will jump, exactly, in the same place where the stick was held (even though stick was taken off). Funny story, but scientifically proven one. I guess, we humans in some cases (especially when we are hurt and participate in blindly believing environment of gossiping), behave like those sheeps – and let misunderstandings/false information carry from person to person – without giving the opportunity for the other person to explain his/her point of views. As the saying goes –“even someone in death row gets a chance to explain their point of view and so let us, at a minimum, listen to each other point of views”. I am sure, I am preaching to the choir as you are expert in this area.

Now to your point regarding overcoming hurts (or evil deeds) with goodness/positive attitude – there are few examples in the scriptures of both east and west – of how great people of yester years have overcome hurts and injustice. For example, in Ramayana, Ram had to go through 14 years of exile because of the promise made by his Father Dasharat to one Kaykeyi – as part of her behest to crown her son Bharat. At that point perhaps it was an injustice (or one can call it hurt), but in grand scheme of things – it worked out good for Ram, from the standpoint of living and fulfilling his theological ethics –as during exile is where, he gets to know Hanuman, and together they fight one of the greatest justice wars to bring justice. Had he got gone on exile, all the great things perhaps may not have happened in his life. So in most cases, God uses an exile and/or unjust situation for a larger cause.

Another example I can quote from bible/torah is the story of Joseph – “Being sold to foreigners in exile, wrongly accused – still Joseph did not murmur, kept believing. An insight from his life is – when he was already on his rock bottom (i.e. in exile), God allows another blow (imprisonment for the things he did not do). On the outset we might be wondering why. However, God had a larger purpose – Had he not gone on exile, he would not have met the Butler – and had he not met the butler, he would not have interpreted the dreams for the butler – and, had he not interpreted the dreams for butler, he would not have had the opportunity to interpret the dreams for the King which finally gave him the opportunity to get elevated. I guess when we take the positive attitude – every setback is a stepping stone for a success – and that mindset changes the whole perspective of hurt!

Yet another quote from Quran – Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive; ……The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto in degree: but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due, from God … But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.”

On closing – the moral of these stories /quotes (including your webinar) in nutshell is “overcome evil with goodness”. As it turns out, the reason we celebrate Festival of Light (Dewali) is to remembering the event where – evil was won with goodness – and so, let us all strive towards winning evil with goodness in our personal lives – and celebrate next Dewali – with a full realization of its meaning! — Charles Prabaker.

Please feel free to comment here or send your suggestions, thoughts etc via email.

Grateful for what you already have

Gratefulness is the lifeblood of soul consciousness and the only antidote for the self-inflicted poison of self pity, resentment and unworthiness. Life is meant to be celebrated ~ and it is when we become grateful for what we already do have versus resentful for what we don't have.

These are difficult times in the world and it's impossible at times to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of the worldwide economic depression, the gulf oil disaster and the violent shootings in Arizona and elsewhere. It's easy to get out of the moment and into the future in terms of impending personal financial doom or worldwide doom for that matter.

Fear can obliterate all hope and reason ~ and love and gratitude can be easily smothered in the process under a blanket of unworthiness, resentment and self pity.

That's why Gratitude is so important, as it brings us back to what is essentially important ~ ourselves, our loved ones and our unique worthiness as human beings ~ because the people we are most grateful to are usually people who have loved us.

When we start celebrating these gifts from a place of true gratitude ~ we begin to transcend fear and, as such, open the door to new possibilities and direction. We are then no longer paralyzed by self pity, resentment and unworthiness and are open to the guiding light at the end of the tunnel ~ love, joy.

Please join me on Monday Jan 31, 2011 for a Roundtable discussion on the power of gratitude with other like minded individuals.

Now enjoy this short video clip on The Power of Gratitude

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jF6u4GJQ-U

Forgiveness is the fragrance the Violets release as the foot crushes them

To forgive is not to forget. Forgetting is not hard. All you need is a bad memory or to treat the incident as insignificant. But to forgive is to make a new beginning, to start all over again with the person who caused you pain. It does not take away the hurt nor does it erase the past injury. It merely ceases to obstruct the path of a new beginning. To forgive you don't have to aggravate the guilt and squeeze the soul of the person. By forgiving you can walk together into the future.

In the Bhagavad Geetha (chapter 12), Lord Krishna describes 35 qualities of a devotee; one of them is a forgiving nature. Learn to forgive. Having forgiven another, what really happens?

The rancor, the anger within, which was eating the vitals, is automatically washed and cleaned. It purifies the system. You become 24-carat gold, soft, yet solid and shining. Mark Twain captures this quality when he writes: "Forgiveness is the fragrance the Violets release as the foot crushes them."

Epictetus said more than 2,000 years ago: "It is not he who gives abuse that affronts, but the view that we take of it. Your hurts comes from not what others did to you, but from what you choose to do with their actions. If you change your attitude about the hurt, you will soon find your victim status eliminated."

Here is a short video clip: The Gift of Forgiveness  Enjoy!

Happy New You in 2011

Life is a blackboard upon which we consciously or unconsciously write those messages which govern us. We hold the chalk and the eraser in our hand but are ignorant of this fact. What we now experience we need not continue to experience but the hand which holds the erasure must do its neutralizing work. ~ Ernest Holmes

 

As you enter into the New Year, I invite you to ask yourself this question: What’s new about me in 2011? If you are like many people you may look in the mirror and say… “There is nothing new that I can see; same old face… same old hands…same old body...same old aches and pains…same old relationships…same old job. Essentially, I see the same old me.”

I propose it doesn’t have to be that way because change is always constant - we just aren’t aware of it. Even down to the molecular level, change is continually happening. However, if the belief system that creates the template into which life’s energy flows is the “same old” mold as it was last year, life has no alternative but to give us a replay of last year. This is true at the level of the physical body as well as the body of our emotions and relationships. Life is energy seeking a place to happen. You are the conduit through which it happens. Energy is not choosing “how” it manifests in your life - you make that choice. I believe that’s what Holmes was saying - we hold the power to change our future by understanding that while we can’t change the past; we can choose not to recreate it by dragging it into the future. Recently, I heard someone saying aloud, “The future isn’t what it used to be.” The reality is the future will exactly be how it used to be until we learn to consciously pick up the eraser and the chalk.

We have the ability to inscribe something new on the blackboard of life in 2011. Metaphorically, we hold the chalk and the eraser because we have freewill and the ability to choose again. Sadly, however, most people are unaware of the amazing creative power they wield when they couple their intentional thoughts and deepest beliefs with a universal law that says, “It’s done unto you as you believe.” This is why I don’t play the New Year resolution game because it’s dealing in willpower, which is working at the level of effect (from the outside-in) rather than cause (from the inside-out). Essentially, willpower won’t sustain us for the long haul because it’s being held in place only by the conscious mind and that part of the mind tends to get distracted, bored, tired and restless, and then it’s off in some other direction which is generally counterproductive to our deepest desires. We have to go beyond the conscious mind and work at the level of our most deeply held beliefs about the way things “are” and the way they can be.

So, where do we start? How do we embrace what it means to be able to redesign 2011 by inscribing something new and improved on the blackboard of life? We have to be willing to go where we have not gone before, to move beyond the old mindset. What better time than right now? While this exercise could be done on a computer, I recommend doing it with paper and pencil to provide a more visceral/tactile experience. Using a pencil with an eraser, draw a vertical line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side of the paper write down the experiences you have had in the past year that you would like not to recreate again in 2011. On the right side of the paper, adjacent to each of those statements, write down what you would like to see as your reality in the next twelve months. Each time you write down a new awareness in the right column, erase one in the left column you wish to release. With each erasure feel the “lightness of being” that comes with the knowing you don’t have to recreate the same experience next year. Spend as much time as possible lightly holding the new view of your life and try to embody the feelings you will have when you arrive at that vision. For now don’t concern yourself with how this will happen. Once you are clear on the what, the universe will guide you in the actions required to manifest the how. Realize that in this process you have just taken hold of the chalk and the eraser. You hold the power.

Happy New You!

In Leadership, Identifying Dreams That Lead To Great Results

History teaches that when people needed to do great things, a leader first had to gather them together and speak from the heart. This heartfelt speech was often connected to defining and reinforcing a dream shared by both the leader and the people.

Drill down through goals and aims and aspirations and ambitions of the people you lead, and you'll hit the bedrock of human motivation, the dream.

For instance, Martin Luther King did not say, "I have a goal." Or "I have an aim." The power of that speech was in the "I have a dream".

A dream embraces our most cherished longings. It embodies our very identity. We often won't feel fulfilled as human beings until we realize our dreams.

If leaders are not tapping into the power of people's dreams, if leaders are simply setting goals (as important as goals are), they miss the best of opportunities to help those people take ardent action to achieve great results.

But what do people dream? How can we discover their dreams? After all, people usually won't tell you what they dream until they trust you. They won't trust you until they feel that you can help them attain their dreams. Knowing and sharing their dream can cement a deep, emotional bond between you.

Here are three things you can do to get at what people dream:

1. Be helpful. 
2. Be hopeful. 
3. Be scarce.

Be helpful. Follow the Leadership Imperative: I will lead people in such a way that they not only achieve the results we need but they also become better as people and as leaders.

The relationships cultivated by the Imperative lend themselves to dream sharing and dream motivation.

Be hopeful: "Hope," said Aristotle "is a waking dream". Nobody wants to be associated with a leader who thinks the job can't get done.

In the face of dire circumstances, there is usually hope to find and communicate.

A great leader I knew who consistently had people get more results faster, continually, had a refrain: "You may think you can't meet the goals I set for you. But I believe in you and I believe you can and I'll support you in every way possible so you can."

That hopeful refrain had the power of a dream; and in the relationships he established, he was able to identify and share in their dreams.

Be scarce: Cultivate the art of being scarce. In other words, give them space to get results.

Use this art the way a homeopathy doctor prepares medicine by diluting drugs to produce symptoms in a healthy person similar to those of the full-blown disease.

The full-blown disease in this case is total scarcity -- meaning the leader is never around. Not being there for the people can be a leadership pathology. After all, in the historical example, a leader had to gather people together -- leader had to be with the people.

Many leaders are absent without leave. One secretary described her seldom seen CEO as follows: "He's like Elvis -- There are rumors of sightings of him. The only time we know he's around is when we smell his pipe smoke."

But being with the people can be a fault, if the people resent it. They may think you're trying to micro-manage them or are snooping around trying to get the goods on them.

The art of being scarce is predicated on your giving them the space to do well. The coach of a great Arkansas basketball team said, "I don't want to hamper them by coaching them." Likewise, don't hamper the people you lead by leading them in a domineering way.

People's dreams are pathways to their inner heart and their most ardent desires. However, most leaders don't know how to go down those paths. Be helpful, be hopeful, be scarce will help you walk your talk, letting people get great results though the gift of their dreams.