Is Your Best Yet To Come in 2012!?

Have you spent any time thinking about the future, in say 2012? Your future?

Sometimes the demands placed upon us daily take up so much of our time; it's hard to find even a moment to consider the future.

But whether you are ready, or not... 2012 is coming... and fast.

And you are the one who is charged with determining exactly what that future will look like for you.

You live in a fast-paced culture in which everything is in motion. And there are no signs of turning back. Standing still doesn't work, either. At least, not for very long.

So how do we make sure that our rapidly-accelerating lives don't pass us by like a furious flash of un-fulfilling nothingness?

I'd like to suggest some tips that can help, but before you read on, I want you to recognize and remember this...

Your current results or circumstances (that you faced in 2011) are in no way a reflection of what is possible for you in the future.

Your potential is unlimited. And the thoughts, ideas, and plans that you focus upon from this day forward will ultimately shape and direct your future.

Here are some ideas to consider...

1) Stop- First, you need to pause... kind of like how you'd approach a "STOP" sign at an intersection. A brief stop, long enough to look in each direction before proceeding. While paused, take a moment to consider WHAT is MOST IMPORTANT to you at this point in your life. Is it your family? Your career? Your relationships? What brings you joy? What are you so passionate about?

2) Consider some Editing- Then, take a moment to consider, what are some things that DO NOT bring you joy? How could you begin to "edit" them out of your day? Maybe there are some activities or behaviors that are not supporting the vision you have of your highest self? Maybe there are some relationships that you need to extricate yourself from?

3) Commit to Carving- Now think about HOW would you spend more time, TODAY and TOMORROW, doing more of what it is that you want to do? Don't worry about next week or next month. Just consider today, YES! Starting today. No need for any New Year resolutions. Figure out how to carve out a small segment in the next 24 hours. Maybe you could wake up 30 minutes earlier in the morning? Or perhaps go to bed 30 minutes later tonight?

Small, incremental commitments of time, directed toward doing what makes you happy, will have a beneficial effect in all areas of your life. Spending time in this frame of mind will become a habit that will replace older, out-dated, less productive habits.

But you have to get started. You need to actively and intentionally plan the way you want your future to look, in 2012. If you passively stand by, you can be sure that your tomorrow, next week, next month, and 2012 will just become a more distressed and less fulfilling version of the past.

You have the opportunity to shape your future. I don't know exactly what you are facing or what you are going through, but I do know that if you will work at it, and take an active role in determining how it will unfold, certainly, your best is yet to come!

Be creative, as 2012 unwinds in just a few more days!

Happy New Year, 2012.

Thanks-[for]-Giving

How a simple shift in gratitude can make a world of difference?

Here in America, we celebrated our Thanksgiving Holiday last week. The holiday symbolizes the end of the harvest season and is a day of celebration and thanks for the abundance and good fortune we have in our lives, no matter how meager or scarce.

This Thanksgiving, I invite you to take a look at how a simple shift to being grateful for what you have been able to give may be more powerful, creative, and worthy of celebration than merely being grateful for what you have received. In fact, you might even start a revolution that truly brings greater abundance and good fortune to both your life and the world.

I don’t believe that we are automatically entitled to abundance, nor that abundance is something that we can simply wish or believe into existence. It’s been my experience that the world works on a give and then receive basis and that true abundance is something we create and we create abundance by generating value.

Generating value is not rearranging, accumulating, reallocating, or exchanging one value for another. It’s not about taking value away from anyone. To generate value means to create or add new value; value and goodness that did not previously exist. For instance, when you smile at someone or hold a door for them you create new value. When you help someone to learn, to grow, or to unleash their potential you create new value. When you ease suffering or bring a measure of joy without taking anything away from anyone else, including yourself, you generate new value.

Creating value is like creating a new source of renewable energy; once created it can perpetuate and build upon itself. This is the basic principle behind the “pay it forward” and “random acts of kindness” concepts.

This Thanksgiving, and from this day forth, try first being grateful for the opportunities you had to generate value; to make a difference and to give of yourself. Then, and only then, celebrate gratitude for the value and goodness that has come back to you as result of your generosity. If you don’t have anything to be grateful for, go create it!

Just keep asking yourself The Central Question – “What choice can I make and action can I take, in this moment, to create the greatest net value?”

What you may notice is that the more value you generate in the world, the more abundance you experience for yourself.

Imagine if you shared this notion with just one other person and they began to think of gratitude this way. Who knows what might happen. If people practiced this form of gratitude and began to see the powerful connection between the value we create and the value we are blessed to receive as a result, people would be creating value like crazy. I mean, think about it: if you shared it with just two or three people a day, I say just two or three people, and then they shared it with two or three people and everybody started creating greater value. Well, that would make YOU the instigator of immeasurable new value.

Can you imagine if a hundred, or a thousand, or a million, or one hundred million people all around the world were giving thanks for the value they’ve been able to create that day! And friends, that’s what it is. It’s the start of the Gen-V 2020 Revolution. It could create a global paradigm shift from a self-centric mindset to a value-centric mindset and put an end to conflict, suffering and scarcity! And all you need to do to join is to start thinking more value-centrically: asking yourself “The Central Question” and giving thanks FOR giving and only then for the blessings of true abundance that come as a result.

Holding People Accountable

Does this little story sound familiar?

“This is a story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.”

But, how to avoid this? How to create a culture of accountability and hold people accountable?

Actually, it’s SIMPLE:

S = Set Expectations
I = Invite Commitment
M = Measure Progress
P = Provide Feedback
L = Link to Consequences
E = Evaluate Effectiveness

Let’s explore a little further on what these actually mean?

S = Set Expectations

• The success of any organization comes down to one thing: how well it organizes its members to focus on and work toward the same purpose
• The employees need to know what is expected of them before they can be hold accountable for anything
• The more clearly the expectations and goals are set up front, the less time will be wasted later clarifying – or worse, arguing about – what was really expected

I = Invite Commitment

• Just because your employees know what to do doesn’t mean they will do it. After goals and expectations are set, employees need to commit to achieving them
• Employees are more likely to do this when they understand two things: how the goals will benefit them personally, and how the goals will help move the organization forward
• Once this connection is made they are more likely to buy into the goals, and actually welcome you holding them accountable for the results

M = Measure Progress

• Information is needed to hold your employees accountable. Measure their ongoing performance and gauge whether or not they meet the goals and expectations to which they had previously committed
• Goals are only measurable when they are quantified. Measure the results and compare them to the employees’ goals to discover the gaps that require further attention

P = Provide Feedback

• Feedback won’t solve problems by itself, but it will open the door for problem-solving discussions and follow-up actions
• The employees need feedback to do a good job and improve in areas where performance is falling short of expectations. Most of the time, giving objective, behavioral feedback is all it takes. Setting expectations followed by quality feedback is the backbone of holding someone accountable for results

L = Link to Consequences

• Sometimes employees need a little external motivation to live up to their commitments. When they struggle to reach their goals, they can be helped by administering appropriate consequences

E = Evaluate Effectiveness

• Review how the process has been handled
• Put a systematic and consistent method in place and you’ll find that when people are held accountable for the work that must get done, it gets done

For goals to be meaningful and effective in motivating employees, they must be tied to larger organizational ambitions.

Employees who don’t understand the roles they play in company success are more likely to become disengaged. No matter what level the employee is at, he should be able to articulate exactly how his efforts feed into the broader company strategy.

High performance and success are not dependent on one simple factor or as a result of one or two things. The entire context you operate in greatly impacts your results.

How do you hold your team accountable?

Source: Dilbert

Think and 'Do' Courage

I take a great deal of pride in the work I do for my clients as well as those contacts who aren’t. I have the strong belief that my role is to do what is right for the people and the business. Because of this I may tell people things they don’t want to hear. Some cases I have lost projects because of it. Yet in most situations that is what gets me hired. I tell leaders what they need to know. If I am not the right resource I refer them to the proper professionals that can help them out. While I am conscious of the client’s situation, I recommend the action they need to take and leave it up to the referral to see if they can help. After all, if someone has a cancer in their business, I do not want to be the one who didn’t warn them.

So, why am I saying this? Recently, I was disturbed with a conversation that took place with a service provider who was talking to me about referrals. To be clear, this was not a situation where i was asking him for referrals, but more of a discussion about the practice. He said he was often aware of needs that his clients had, but was reluctant to refer to outside professionals because of what they might think. He knows his clients have issues that could prove costly, yet he fails to act out of fear that they will balk at the idea or that they are unwilling to pay for outside help. The difference here is there is no perceived malpractice.

I do not say these things because I desire more regulations or outside intervention. I merely wish to bring up a point. As a professional, you owe it to your clients and colleagues to help them be successful. If relationships are built on a foundation of trust, I believe your clients and others in your professional circle will value what you have to say. If you are concerned about it you may need to do a gut check on how solid your relationship is. My clients are successful because they are told things they don’t want to hear, but NEED to hear. Because of this, many of these people are experiencing substantial growth when other businesses are struggling to make ends meet. They set goals and act deliberately while their competition worries and unfocused action. Many of my clients are building and expanding while others are shrinking. Ninety percent of my clients are through referrals. In other words, they came to me because someone had the courage to say there is help available.

Whether you are a banker, accountant, marketer or even a coach, your actions towards your clients speaks volumes about your values. That is why as professionals we build relationships of trust with other service providers. We may not be doctors, but we do need to hold ourselves to a higher standard. It is how we will grow and innovate. So go out and build those relationships, check backgrounds, research and build your circle of professionals. When you help a business grow, not only do you help that business, you help create jobs, and strengthen our economy. Not to mention you have strengthened a relationship that will pay you back many fold over time. Be courageous, build trust, and create growth.

Courage is about believing in something beyond your own needs and doing something about it. Very rarely is courage spoken about in organizations beyond some poorly defined misguided heroic notion that has more to do with aggressive competition and very little to do with nurturing people and creating a sustainable business model.

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

Turning up the courage can help you to:

Move into your future with inspired vision and upgraded mental models, knowing that there is nothing you cannot aim for and nothing that you need to regret. Manage your lows and create more highs; turn every failure into success and build on it further.

Discover your own unique way to make a difference and to make a living. Map out an inspiring future and create a dynamic 'plan for the road' designed on who you truly are, where your purpose lies, and on a realistic appraisal of the market.

Despite the prevalent fear in our changing society, be the person who transforms fear into courage by seeing the bigger context and the facts behind the emerging bigger picture. Turning up the courage provides orientation and advice on the order behind all the chaos.

Create powerful relationships that add extra value for you and others. Identify your allies and let go of extra ballast. Open your eyes to your own role in attracting the relationships that are in your life now. Negotiate assertively and authentically. Lose your fear of engaging with others in conflict. Resolve conflicts in an empowered way.

Is Passion Critical to Your Success

Passion is one of those potentially arbitrary words that are difficult to define. Passion, as defined by the dictionary, is “a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept.”

Having passion for your business is critical to your success. Why? Without passion and enjoyment for your business you won’t be motivated to make it the best company it can be. Sadly your customers will get very bored of you and what you have to offer.

Without passion and joy for the work that you do, it’ll show in your company’s personality and have a direct effect on your branding. Yes, passion for your business is that important.

So the question is do you have passion for your business? Do you get up most mornings looking forward to your day? If the answer is no, if you’re finding that you’re lacking passion and joy for your business consider a few options.

If there is no passion, you need to make changes…

1. Eliminate the Tasks That Drive You Mad

Make a list of the current work related activities you do enjoy and find pleasure in. Now make a list of the work related tasks you don’t enjoy. The tasks you really despise and procrastinate on and simply don’t do. Looking at your two lists. What can you do to make list number one, the list of activities you do enjoy, more a part of your day? In many cases the answer is simply to outsource the tasks that you dislike.

2. Refresh Your Memory

Think back to why you started your business in the first place. What were your motivations? What were your goals? What was your passion? Write them down and take a look at all that you’ve achieved. If you’re far from your goals, if you’ve yet to achieve them, what can you do to get back on track? Often times, goals can serve to re-motivate and re-excite your passion.

3. Gratitude Helps

Think about all that you have to be grateful for. Make a list. In fact, many business and success coaches recommend creating a gratitude journal and writing in it every day. Remembering all that is good and right in your life can really reinvigorate your passion for your business and your life.

4. Work with Passionate and Motivated People

Being the owner of a small business can be a lonely job. Surround yourself with passionate and motivated people and you’ll not only find it’s contagious, you’ll find that your business success will improve as a direct result.

Mastermind groups, business coaching, networking with enthusiastic and like minded professionals, and even outsourcing with people who are passionate about their business are all excellent ways to become part of a winning team.

5. Integrate

Integrate your current passions into your business. If you’ve found that your passion for your business has simply waned, consider what you do enjoy and brainstorm how you can integrate your current passion into your business.

Passion breeds profits, if your passion is lacking or altogether missing, spend some time finding it. It’s important not only for the success of your business but the happiness of your life.

How else are you managing your passion? I'd like to hear your ideas and other points of view.

Are you an Empathic Listener?

In a TV interview sometime ago, Stephen Covey described his The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People as guiding principles that "…encourage people to take a mindful approach to life - not letting trivial urgencies of day-to-day life get in the way of the most important things."

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is indeed a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. Its philosophy is that human beings can take control of their own destinies by how they react to life and external factors, and that they will achieve happiness, success and spiritual fulfillment if they adopt the seven habits Covey advocates.

In this article, I am only going to focus on the listening habits. Covey says that "most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand." Because we are so eager to get our own point of view across, we tend not to listen properly to what the other person is saying. If we can first understand what the speaker's point of view is, it will be easier for us to respond in a positive and mutually beneficial way.

Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus, you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.

Covey then recommends listening to others (habits 4-6) in order to become aware of the values and goals of others. This enables you to find common ground and thus maintain productive relationships with them.

Covey also recommends regularly seeking to improve (habit 7) and reinforce yourself in ways that are important to you.

According to Covey, when we are speaking to anyone we are usually in one of the five “Listening States” -

1.           Ignoring: – Not Listening

2.           Pretend Listening: – We have all done this, saying “yeah”, “uh-huh”

3.           Selective Listening: – Listening strictly to parts of the conversations and strictly from our point of view.

4.           Attentive Listening: – Focusing and paying attention to the words

5.           Empathetic Listening: – Listening from the other persons point of view, and seeing the world from the others persons perspective.

Most people think that Empathic Listening takes too much time; I have found that with time it becomes natural and you start to automatically do it. It all begins with practice and the dividends you will receive for this are enormous.

Empathic Listening is essential to effective communication. Covey emphasizes the importance, the power, and in some situations the necessity of not merely going through the mechanical responses that might be required for ordinary listening, but opening oneself to the talker to the point where one can actually feel what they are feeling. Covey, as others, believes that the only way to establish communication in some professional and personal situations is by becoming, in small part, the person you are listening to. He uses the words "sensing" (others call it "intuition") to describe the information a listener can perceive through deep, empathic listening. The experience Covey describes, standing for a moment in another's shoes and listening to the world through their ears is something everyone is capable of, but most of us rarely (if ever) deliberately do. It takes time to listen empathically and practice to become adept at it, but the reward is a whole new level of communication and problem solving because a person acquires the ability to see a situation simultaneously from multiple points of view.

Most people take the advice to “Listen” literally and are confused when the conversation dies or does not go anywhere. This is because “Listening” is a means to an end, not an end. Listening allows you to absorb information about the following:

a.           What is important to the other person and

b.           What the other person wants to talk about

At the end of the day, remember – listening is one of the most important parts of possessing excellent Social Skills. However, it is a means to an end and the end is to find out what the other person wants to talk about and what is important to the other person. Listen > Find out what these things are > Let them talk about it > Put yourself in their shoes (Empathic Listening) and talk about what you would do or answer the question from your own point of view (Selective Listening) and create a meaningful conversation.

Listening is essential to effectiveness as a speaker. Covey also points out that to be an effective speaker one has to absorb feedback from (listen to) one's audience and adjust one's presentations according to what works most effectively for them.

So, next time, when you are engaging in a conversation, practice empathetic listening; it will get you far in life.

How To Stay The Course In The Face Of Any Difficult

When I imagine what it looks like to live a balanced life, two thoughts come to mind. The first is the "Jack theory": All work and no play makes for a cranky Jack. All this and no that - too much of this and too little of that - just doesn't work. The challenge here is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and want to do. We need to carve out time for the serious stuff, as well as play.

The other way to live a balanced life has more to do with going with the flow - not letting the inevitable glitch in our day throw us off-balance, sending us careening off course. It's about staying balanced. In other words, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still "go wrong" with it. When lucky, we experience a minor glitch - a glitch so small and short-lived that you hardly notice it, a transient fault that corrects itself. However, there are the times when a hornet's nest of difficulties presents itself, and you need to change course immediately, lest you get knocked on your bottom!

Here are some guidelines on how you can "root" yourself in balance, enabling you to smile and stay the course, even in the face of the inevitable hiccup, glitch or major league malfunction.

Some Tips for Living a Well-Balanced Life

1.    Wake Up Happy. Your first thoughts are the most powerful and the strongest. They can set a tone for the day. You can easily train yourself to begin each and every day with a positive thought. Begin to pay attention to your waking thoughts. If they are not "happy" or useful thoughts, change them. In the place between being asleep and fully awake, note your thoughts and change them if you have to. If your thoughts are positive and useful, embrace them: "Today, I am going to get organized and 'motor' through the day with great, happy energy" versus, "OMG! It’s Monday. Another day, another dollar." Get my drift?

2.    Take Care Of You. I promise you that your health is the key ingredient to all! They don't say "If you've got your health, you've got everything" for nothing! It's the truth. You simply cannot function in high gear if you don't get the right amount of rest, exercise or good, healthy eats (e.g. real food, not processed stuff). At some point, "it" will catch up with you.

3.    Plan Pretty. No, planning is not a dirty word, although you might think it is, based on the response I sometimes get when I stress the importance of planning. Do not stamp your feet like a three-year-old and say, "I don't like to plan." Keeping an organized calendar and planner tracking your appointments, your food and your workouts (i.e. movement, for the exercise phobic) leads to freedom. When you plan, you essentially dump your thoughts onto the page and organize them so they do not overwhelm you, which lead to a productive, relaxed kind of day. Instead of cringing at the thought of "planning," embrace it. Once again, planning presents a clear path out of an overwhelming situation and leads you toward the happy state of freedom.

4.    Set Priorities. Leading your "best life" does not mean that you need to be, or should try to be, perfect and do it all. It means that you self-reflect, known yourself and determine your true values. Not knowing who you are and what you want and trying to do everything is a recipe for burnout and disaster. Do not bite off more than you can chew!

5.    Stay Connected With Family And Friends. Another key ingredient to living a balanced life and staying "in balance" is your connection to your friends and family. However busy you may be, be sure to reach out to at least one friend or family member daily. Preferably, you would do this in real time, either in person or via telephone - not electronically! There's nothing like the real thing.

6.    Be Spontaneous. On the one hand, I do believe that planning equals freedom, as mentioned above. On the other hand, let's not get so rigid that we lose the ability to be spontaneous. If you suddenly have the urge to go for a long walk, go to a movie, hook up with a friend at lunchtime or feed the hummingbirds, then do so!

7.    Take Control Of Your Mind. Often we overwhelm ourselves with the silent words that flow through our mind every moment of the day. When you speak about being overwhelmed your thoughts and then your behaviors will follow. Guard your thoughts or else your life and your actions flow out of them. Create thoughts that banish the feeling of being overwhelmed.

8.    Stuff Happens; Expect The Unexpected. Have you ever had a day when something unexpected didn't happen? An unexpected phone call, unexpected traffic jam, a platter of pretty cupcakes being paraded in front of you or, maybe worse yet, a computer crash? Stuff happens, my friends. Stuff happens, big time! So expect the unexpected and just roll with it.

9.    Breathe Deep And Unwind. At the end of your glorious day, take a minute, or two, or 30 to unwind. Curl up with a good book, take a hot bath and listen to music that soothes or stirs your soul. Do nothing. Take in a few deep, cleansing breaths, congratulate yourself on a day well-lived and just plain relax.

What is the most important thing that you do to help you stay balanced, enabling you to go with the flow? 

Do We KNOW What We Want?

This is an extension of the article that I posted last week. But, if you haven’t read last week’s article, now is a good time to take a look at that. I stated boldly in that article that “Most of us don’t know what we want.” Here are some additional thoughts behind that statement, inspired by another young Gen Y reader’s comments on that article. Also, please tell me your thoughts. Thanks!

“Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or courage, but because they never organized their energies around a goal.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

How do we effectively assess goals, non-verbal communications (not only body movements but also vocal changes) and other consequences?

Goal Diagnosis helps in assessing emotional blocks and personal histories. It can be used to respond appropriately to non-verbal communication. Goal diagnosis provides essential information for personal development as well.

Although any form of coaching or planning ideally starts with ‘well formed’ goal statements (outcomes), few people can specify their goals. Goal diagnosis recognizes many weird and wonderful goal statements… here are a few examples:

• Abstract goals (e.g. I only want to be happy)
• Childish goals (e.g. I want everything, now)
• Conflicts and multiple goals (including double binds)
• General statements with little sense of direction (e.g. I want more time off)
• Goals lacking times for completion (no deadlines)
• Goal statements with negative grammar (e.g. I don’t want a divorce)
• Goals with incongruent signals (I want X (while shaking the head “No”))
• Metaphors (e.g. I feel like I’m lost in a jungle and I can’t find a path to the village)
• Philosophy (e.g. Someone in my position should have already achieved goal X)
• Word salad (chaotic grammar and sentence structure)

The next step, of course, includes ways to respond appropriately to them. But, before we go there, let me elaborate some terms that I used here:

By Double Binds I refer to paradoxical interpersonal communication. A double bind statement contains internal contradictions. If the addressed person cannot withdraw from the situation, that person cannot decide which message is real and (if young) may develop pathologies.

Double binds may be explicit (e.g. a teacher communicates to a student “I will punish you to improve your education!“) or implicit (e.g. a manager says to an employee “I know that even you can complete this task!” while curling his upper lip). If the addressed person cannot recognize and dissolve double binds, relationship chaos often results.

Some stated goals have a similar structure to double-binds: for example the stated goal may have two or more objects and one verb, (e.g. “I want to be married and happy and …“). If these wishes are believed to be incompatible, any attempts or planning to fulfill a double-wish will likely fail.

By Double Wishes I refer to poorly defined goals that contain internal contradictions. If a person cannot decide which message is true, the person may object to their own goals – or withdraw from the coaching relationship. They may be disappointed that they cannot fulfill their own goals, and delay or miss opportunities for happiness.

I evaluate double goals by first noticing whether any verbal or non-verbal incongruence indicates simultaneous conflict or sequential conflict, and whether a client displays signs of conflict when changing goal polarity. Although a client may state a goal – the underlying goal is often at an existential or identity level, to discover “What is important to me?” or “What sort of person am I?”

Many people avoid unpleasant feelings and inner conflict by focusing on abstract goals (e.g. “I want to be happy“) … we often say that an abstract goal is, “the skin of a goal stuffed with conflict“.

A client may find two or more conflicting possibilities. A well-formed outcomebecomes possible if the definition of the goal can fully incorporate the values of all sides or parts of the conflict, or following an internal change of reference that rejects unwanted influences. In our systemic diagnosis, we often refer to identity level influences as relationship bonds.

Sequential Conflicts

Sequential conflicts can be fascinating … and irritating. Someone can never make up their mind, and if they do make a decision, they may either participate half-heartedly – or for a limited time.

I check the time between polarity changes of a sequential conflict … is it short-cycle or long-cycle? For me, short cycle is less than a few days, while long-cycle is over a week. This is useful information for anticipating a person’s change of heart. I can plan for it … and plan my response. (I find that this greatly decreases my irritation about people who break promises etc).

When you choose a goal or solution, you choose the consequences of that goal or solution.

While we hope for clear answers to the question, “What do you want?” we really don’t expect them. Goal questions seem to stress many people. Nobody wants to appear stupid, and people are often scared of asking for too little… or too much.

Happy New You in 2011

Life is a blackboard upon which we consciously or unconsciously write those messages which govern us. We hold the chalk and the eraser in our hand but are ignorant of this fact. What we now experience we need not continue to experience but the hand which holds the erasure must do its neutralizing work. ~ Ernest Holmes

 

As you enter into the New Year, I invite you to ask yourself this question: What’s new about me in 2011? If you are like many people you may look in the mirror and say… “There is nothing new that I can see; same old face… same old hands…same old body...same old aches and pains…same old relationships…same old job. Essentially, I see the same old me.”

I propose it doesn’t have to be that way because change is always constant - we just aren’t aware of it. Even down to the molecular level, change is continually happening. However, if the belief system that creates the template into which life’s energy flows is the “same old” mold as it was last year, life has no alternative but to give us a replay of last year. This is true at the level of the physical body as well as the body of our emotions and relationships. Life is energy seeking a place to happen. You are the conduit through which it happens. Energy is not choosing “how” it manifests in your life - you make that choice. I believe that’s what Holmes was saying - we hold the power to change our future by understanding that while we can’t change the past; we can choose not to recreate it by dragging it into the future. Recently, I heard someone saying aloud, “The future isn’t what it used to be.” The reality is the future will exactly be how it used to be until we learn to consciously pick up the eraser and the chalk.

We have the ability to inscribe something new on the blackboard of life in 2011. Metaphorically, we hold the chalk and the eraser because we have freewill and the ability to choose again. Sadly, however, most people are unaware of the amazing creative power they wield when they couple their intentional thoughts and deepest beliefs with a universal law that says, “It’s done unto you as you believe.” This is why I don’t play the New Year resolution game because it’s dealing in willpower, which is working at the level of effect (from the outside-in) rather than cause (from the inside-out). Essentially, willpower won’t sustain us for the long haul because it’s being held in place only by the conscious mind and that part of the mind tends to get distracted, bored, tired and restless, and then it’s off in some other direction which is generally counterproductive to our deepest desires. We have to go beyond the conscious mind and work at the level of our most deeply held beliefs about the way things “are” and the way they can be.

So, where do we start? How do we embrace what it means to be able to redesign 2011 by inscribing something new and improved on the blackboard of life? We have to be willing to go where we have not gone before, to move beyond the old mindset. What better time than right now? While this exercise could be done on a computer, I recommend doing it with paper and pencil to provide a more visceral/tactile experience. Using a pencil with an eraser, draw a vertical line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side of the paper write down the experiences you have had in the past year that you would like not to recreate again in 2011. On the right side of the paper, adjacent to each of those statements, write down what you would like to see as your reality in the next twelve months. Each time you write down a new awareness in the right column, erase one in the left column you wish to release. With each erasure feel the “lightness of being” that comes with the knowing you don’t have to recreate the same experience next year. Spend as much time as possible lightly holding the new view of your life and try to embody the feelings you will have when you arrive at that vision. For now don’t concern yourself with how this will happen. Once you are clear on the what, the universe will guide you in the actions required to manifest the how. Realize that in this process you have just taken hold of the chalk and the eraser. You hold the power.

Happy New You!