Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Focusing on the Positive View to Success
Two people can view the same situation
entirely different. One may see the glass half empty; another sees the glass
half full.
Both observations are correct, but the subtle difference in
thought process and phrasing is important. The former is bemoaning what isn’t
and the latter is appreciating what is. The way you view and describe a
situation greatly influences how you feel about it and how you respond to it.
You have the power to choose how you see life. You always have the option of
viewing situations in either a positive or negative manner.
When someone asks you how you genuinely feel about yourself, what
thoughts first come to your mind? Do you instinctively think about your
shortcomings and failures, or do you think about your worth and potential? Your
view of yourself affects your development. When you focus on your potential,
you foster vision and motivation for growth. When you expect positive outcomes,
you will be more inclined to work for and get them. If you motivate employees
and create an environment where they want to succeed, they will be more likely
to do so. If you have positive expectations, they will strive to live up to
them.
“Treat people as if they were what they
ought to be and help them become what they are capable of being.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When you see life positively, you will be in a stronger position
to ward off the negative influences that constantly bombard you. You will be
able to set your goals and sustain your efforts to achieve them. Take an
inventory of your internal attitudes. Listen closely to your dialogue with
yourself. You will become increasingly aware of the many negative thoughts that
you may entertain on a daily basis.
Be
conscious of your thoughts and make a commitment to change those negative thoughts
into positive commitments. Just as you exercise your body to make it healthy,
exercise your mind with positive thoughts that begin with “I can” and “I will.” You have no
doubt encountered people who move forward through life with vigor and
enthusiasm. They seem to possess an indefinable quality that propels them over
and around obstacles. They don’t get discouraged, and they don’t indulge in
self-doubt or self-pity. That quality is a positive view of life. You can
almost hear them saying aloud to themselves, “I can” and “I will,” and as a result they do!
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
When I Loved Myself Enough
As I promised last week, here is an excerpt by Alison McMillen, January 2001 from her mother, Kim McMillen's book: WHEN I LOVED MYSELF ENOUGH.
The author, Kim McMillen died in September of 1996, at the age of 52, only a few short months after writing the book. She was not ill and did not know that she was going to die. Her death was very sudden and it deeply shocked everyone who knew her.
When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little.
When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness.
When I loved myself enough I began taking the gift of life
seriously and gratefully.
When I loved myself enough I began to know I was in the
right place at the right time and I could relax.
When I loved myself enough I felt compelled to slow down way
down. And that has made all the difference.
When I loved myself enough I bought a feather bed.
When I loved myself enough I came to love being alone
surrounded by silence, awed by its spell, listening to inner space.
When I loved myself enough I came to see I am not special
but I am unique.
When I loved myself enough I redefined success and life
became simple. Oh, the pleasure of that.
When I loved myself enough I came to know I am worthy of
knowing God directly.
When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to
chase after life. If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me.
When I loved myself enough I gave up the belief that life is
hard.
When I loved myself enough I came to see emotional pain is a
signal I am operating outside truth.
When I loved myself enough I let the tomboy in me swing off
the rope in Jackass Canyon. Yes!
When I loved myself enough I learned to meet my own needs
and not call it selfish.
When I loved myself enough the parts of me long-ignored, the
orphans of my soul, quit vying for attention. That was the beginning of inner
peace. Then I began seeing clearly.
When I loved myself enough I began to see that desires of
the heart do come, and I grew more patient and calm, except when I forgot.
When I loved myself enough I quit ignoring or tolerating my
pain.
When I loved myself enough I started feeling all my
feelings, not analysing them really feeling them. When I do, something amazing
happens. Try it. You will see.
When I loved myself enough my heart became so tender it
could welcome joy and sorrow equally.
When I loved myself enough I started meditating every day.
This is a profound act of self-love.
When I loved myself enough I came to feel like a gift to the
world and I collected beautiful ribbons and bows. They still hang on my wall to
remind me.
When I loved myself enough I learned to ask 'Who in me is
feeling this way?' when I feel anxious, angry, restless or sad. If I listen
patiently I discover who needs my love.
When I loved myself enough I no longer needed things or
people to make me feel safe.
called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.
When I loved myself enough I gave up perfectionism that
killer of joy.
When I loved myself enough I could tell the-truth about my
gifts and my limitations.
When I loved myself enough I quit answering the telephone
when I don't want to talk.
When I loved myself enough forgiving others became
irrelevant.
When I loved myself enough I could remember, during times of
confusion, struggle or grief, that these too are part of me and deserve my
love.
When I loved myself enough I could allow my heart to burst
wide open and take in the pain of the world.
When I loved myself enough I started picking up litter on
the street.
When I loved myself enough I could feel God in me and see
God in you. That makes us divine! Are you ready for that?
When I loved myself enough I started writing about my life
and views because I knew this was my right and my responsibility.
When I loved myself enough I began to see my purpose and
gently wean myself from distractions.
When I loved myself enough I saw that what I resisted
persisted like a small child tugging my skirt. Now I am curious and gentle when
resistance comes tugging.
When I loved myself enough I learned to stop what I am
doing, if even for a moment, and comfort the part of me that is scared.
When I loved myself enough I learned to say no when I want
to and yes when I want to.
When I loved myself enough I saw beyond right and wrong and
became neutral. At first I thought this was indifference; now I see the clarity
that comes with neutrality.
When I loved myself enough I began to feed my hunger for
solitude and revel in the inexplicable contentment that is its companion.
When I loved myself enough I could see how funny life is,
how funny I am and how funny you are.
When I loved myself enough I recognised my courage and fear,
my naivety and wisdom, and I make a place for each at my table.
When I loved myself enough I started treating myself to a
massage at least once a month.
When I loved myself enough I realised I am never alone.
When I loved myself enough I stopped fearing empty time and
quit making plans. Now I do what feels right and am in step with my own
rhythms. Delicious!
When I loved myself enough I quit trying to impress my
brother.
When I loved myself enough I stopped trying to banish the
critical voices from my head. Now I say, Thankyou for your views' and they feel
heard. End of discussion.
When I loved myself enough I let the part of me that still
misses Kent feel sad instead of trying to stop her from loving him.
When I loved myself enough I began buying a hostess fruit
pie for the teenager in me who loves them so. Once in a while, cherry.
When I loved myself enough I quit trying to be a saviour for
others.
When I loved myself enough I lost my fear of speaking my
truth for I have come to see how good it is.
When I loved myself enough I began pouring my feelings into
my journals. These loving companions speak my language. No translation needed.
When I loved myself enough I stopped seeking 'experts' and
started living my life.
When I loved myself enough I came to see how my anger
teaches about responsibility and my arrogance teaches about humility, so I
listen to both carefully.
When I loved myself enough I started eating organically
grown food (except for those occasional fruit pies of course).
When I loved myself enough I could be at ease with the
comings and goings of judgement and despair.
When I loved myself enough I was able to be treated to a $50
haircut and enjoy every minute of it.
When I loved myself enough I quit having to be right which
makes being wrong meaningless.
When I loved myself enough I learned to grieve for the hurts
in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them
around.
When I loved myself enough I forgave myself for all the
times I thought I wasn’t good enough.
When I loved myself enough things got real quite inside.
Real nice.
When I loved myself enough I began listening to the wisdom
of my body. It speaks so clearly through its fatigue, sensitivities, aversions
and hungers.
When I loved myself enough I quit fearing my fear.
When I loved myself enough I quit rehashing the past and
worrying about the future – which keeps me in the present where aliveness
lives.
When I loved myself enough I realized my mind can torment
and deceive me, but in the service of my heart it is a great and noble ally.
When I loved myself enough I began to taste freedom.
When I loved myself enough I found my voice and wrote this
little book.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Leadership in Life
Any leader on the path to success can benefit from this
mindset. So, this week, I am sharing this article that came from an Association
that I am affiliated with. (Next week, I am going to share an excerpt from the
book that is referenced in this article.)
You have probably heard some excellent leadership speeches
in your time. Powerful leaders talking about the importance of having a vision,
how to lead with charisma, creating the best environment for a team,
communicating effectively, exhibiting integrity, generating passion for a
mission, etc.
Recently, there was one such speech that appeared quite
different, yet all of the above wouldn't be possible without the one quality it
references. This speech has been attributed to Charlie Chaplin, yet research
points to a re-translation of "When I Loved Myself Enough" by Kim
McMillen.
Its theme is elegant, yet simple: Love. How does love figure in to being an effective leader? In more
ways than you have probably thought. The characteristics that spring from love
help to build a solid foundation for a good leader: authenticity, respect,
maturity, self-confidence, simplicity, modesty, fulfillment, and more. These
traits are necessary in leading yourself, your team, and your business.
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional
suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today,
I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can
offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew
the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though
this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different
life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to
grow. Today I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any
circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens
at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I
stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me
joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do
them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is
no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything that
drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy
egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is
MODESTY.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the
past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where
everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it
FULFILLMENT.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can
disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind
became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any
kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their
crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Passion - the X Factor
There are a lot of aspects to consider when
hiring a candidate for an open position – skill set, years of experience, ability to fit into the company
culture, etc. The list goes on and on. However, there’s one factor that many companies completely overlook, and it can often come back to haunt
them.
That factor is passion.
them.
That factor is passion.
Here are three reasons why employers should hire people with passion over people who lack it:
1. They are more productive – People with passion don’t leave at 5 p.m. on the dot, and they often work through lunch. They love what they do, so they do as much of it as they can. That translates into more productivity... a lot more.
2. They are more engaged – You don’t have to make sure they are engaged in their job and with the company. If they have passion for what they are doing, they are practically self-engaging. This makes it far easier to retain the person over the long haul.
3. They are intrinsically motivated – You don’t need to throw huge amounts of money or a slew of perks at these candidates in order to make them happy. Verbal compliments and other forms of recognition for a job well done go a long way. Once again, this increases the chances of retaining their services.
As you can see, passion has a distinctly important role in the hiring process. Failure to identify which candidates possess it and which ones do not can have a negative impact on that process. In fact, it could even result in hiring the wrong person for the position.
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