What to Do When my Dreams are Not Coming True?

This will be my last article for this month as I mentioned in my previous posting, I will be starting a series of articles on Self-awareness beginning on October 1st.

What to Do When my Dreams are Not Coming True?

We have all experienced this at one time or another. You sit each morning and evening, visualizing your dreams and goals. You really start feeling it in your life. Every cell in your body seems to be vibrating in alignment with your desires. But when all is said and done, that pile of money is not sitting in your lap. "Well," you say, "I guess this doesn't really work—at least, not for me."

So what happened? Does ‘Success’ only work for some people some of the time? Or does it only work for small things—like finding a parking space—but not for manifesting a new car? The answer is that the dreams come true, all of the time, but—and this is key!—we must allow it to operate in our lives.

For example, if I want to attract more people buying my new book, but I am constantly talking about how slow it's going, I am not in vibrational alignment with my desires.

If I want to attract more wealth but spend my days lamenting about how broke I am, it is unlikely to happen. Be grateful for whatever financial abundance you have. That energy of gratitude will put you in a vibration to attract more of the same—namely, more wealth. "To he who has, more is given."

It's like a situation, years ago, with a coaching client. She wanted to conduct a seminar. She was lamenting to me one day how she "only had three people signed up." I pointed out that she had three people and that she should be thankful that they showed enough faith in her work to invest their time and money, and that she should focus on that and be grateful for it.

Within a few days, she had several more people and by the day of the event, she had attracted the ideal number of people to fill her seminar. As I've said before: "If you are praying for rain, carry an umbrella."

Another way we sometimes undo our desires is by speaking and acting in ways that are inconsistent with what we want. For example, people who are working on attracting more financial wealth, but walking around saying things like "Oh I'd never spend that much for a suit."

This is one of the reasons why I advise people who want more wealth to get into the energy of luxury. Go visit a four-star hotel or restaurant—even if you just buy a cup of coffee, soda, beer, or a glass of wine—and get into the feeling of that as your new lifestyle. Start getting comfortable in those surroundings.

If you want finer clothes, walk around the better stores and feel that energy of being around quality merchandise.

If you want to attract a relationship, get off your couch and go where there are people. And if you do meet someone who is not quite right, don't use that as an excuse to quit. Acknowledge that, even though this was not your ideal person, you are out meeting people and you're in an environment to meet your dream mate. These things happen in God's time, not ours; however, it's important to never give up. Don't quit before the miracle happens.

The more you focus on the evidence of what you want showing up in your life—while being grateful for what you already have—the more you're in vibrational alignment with your desire and the more likely it will grow.

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Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 27 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development, personal development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information, visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.

11 Dimensions of Self Awareness

As a prelude to my upcoming interview and cover story on the ‘11 Dimensions of Self Awareness’ for the International Mentors Magazine later this year, I’ll be posting here a series of weekly articles starting early October.

These articles deal in great detail on what Self-awareness is all about, how to develop it and the benefits of achieving it. I’ll also write about how one can use this information to balancing their lives in both their inner and outer lives.

People are living and working in an increasingly uncertain, unstable economic and social climate. Many feel frustrated and stressed in their work and home lives. They know that stress damages the body, mind and spirit, yet they feel caught in its trap. 

I think these conflicts are so common because people are conditioned to frame the problem incorrectly to begin with. That is, there's no way to balance work life and home life, because both exist on the same side of the scale - what I call your "outer" life. On the other side of the scale is your personal, private life - your "inner" life. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life, try, instead, to balance your outer life and inner life.

There are 4 dimensions (People, Productivity, Tasks – also known as KARMA to those familiar with the Bhagavad Geetha, and Leadership) in the work life and another 4 dimensions (Family, Social, Financial – aka ARDHA and Ethics & Beliefs – aka DHARMA) in the home life for a total of 8 dimensions in the Outer life. With the 3 dimensions of body, mind and spirit/soul in the Inner life; you now have eleven dimensions overall to deal with and achieve harmony, joy and success in your life.

When Buddha began his teachings, his intention was to lead us into a realm of awareness so that we are awakened to Buddha’s insight and wisdom. Through this awareness, we can strive to become equals to the Buddha. Prince Siddhartha became the Buddha because he had realized the truth of life in the universe (self-awareness). With perfect compassion, he then proceeded to teach all being about this truth thus helping others to achieve enlightenment (enlighten others). Therefore, he is truly an enlightened person who possesses the quality of self-awareness, the ability to enlighten others, and complete enlightenment.

Increasing your self-awareness and living authentically takes time, practice, and patience - but the rewards are well worth it! It’s a very spiritual journey. It connects you to your Self, to your family, to your community, and to the world. I hope that you will join me in these articles to explore and share this enlightenment to achieving inner peace spiritually.

Craft a Purpose Driven Life

One thing that I have noticed about successful people is that they all seem to have a clear vision of exactly where they are going. They may not know all things in the middle but they definitely know what to expect in the end. Not only do they know but they will not let the picture die. They will constantly look past the present circumstances to see the end result.

A good example of what I am talking about comes to mind when I remember a movie that I once watched. In the movie a woman had a vision of moving a group of orphaned troubled inner city children from Philadelphia to a farm in Washington State. With very few resources and an old school bus which had to be brought back from death she proceeded across the country to their new destination. Whenever anyone in the movie told her what she didn't have she seemed to not even hear them. They eventually arrived at their destination but no other personality would have been able to accomplish this task of taking the children across country. The person with a vision may seem to ignore reality but that is really not the case.

The successful person simply chooses not to let the present reality dictate the future situation. He or she will have often put him or herself in a position where there is almost no other choice but to continue on. Sometimes success is born out of desperation. The desperate person will scratch and kick and claw until there is nothing left or until it is just not physically possible to continue. The person with a clear vision doesn't just waste time spinning his or her wheels in space. He or she knows what is required to get from point A to point B and won't waste time with anything which doesn't serve to move in the desired direction. It seems as if they have actually been to the destination and have seen what it looks like. You must have a clear purpose and goal in order to be successful. The person with vision sees what no one else sees. The woman in the movie looked at the old bus which wouldn't crank but, saw the transportation that she needed to go clear across the country. Nothing ventured means nothing gained.

The person with the vision will look at a dilapidated old building and see it as the mansion that it is to become. The task of getting there will not overwhelm them because their focus is on the end result and not the process. When you look at where you need to be don't place too much stock on your present circumstances. Hard work will get you to where you want to go. It's just a matter of time and the harder that you work now the less time it will take. I have discovered that there is a special intimacy which comes with writing the vision. I would say that you should write it frequently. Each time that you write it becomes more of a part of you. Each time you spend the time and effort to write it down you become more intimate with it. Remember the unruly child who would be disciplined in school by having to write on the blackboard. That was actually a useful punishment because it sought to cause that child to internalize the thing that he or she wrote. Write your vision, rehearse it, visualize it, and speak it. Once you do all of these things expect it to come to pass.

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Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. He is  dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 27 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information, visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.

Learning to Say No

No is such a small word and yet so hard to say.

Often we don’t want to say no, even when that’s the right thing to do because we don’t want to risk appearing unable, unappreciative, or disrespectful. We don’t always act as we know we should. Many people place more value on what others think of them rather than on what they think of themselves. Their need to please others is so strong that, in pleasing others, they continue to diminish their own worth and the quality of their lives. If you, like many people, inadvertently are more concerned about pleasing others than pleasing yourself, it’s time to change.

If you consider what others think of you to be more important than what you think of yourself, you are likely to accept more responsibility than you want or can handle. In a childish attempt to please, you might accept too many responsibilities and become overwhelmed. We’ve all had occasions when we were afraid to tell the boss no. We’ve hesitated about refusing an invitation lest we hurt someone’s feelings, or we’ve agreed to help out a friend even when we didn’t have the time to do so. As stated before, this can cause you to feel overworked, underpaid, out of control, and unappreciated!

If your self-image is healthy and your need to please others is secondary to pleasing yourself, you will tend to frame your responses in light of your values and priorities. As a result, you will find yourself appropriately saying no when requests are not in alignment with your values and goals. Focus on developing attitudes and habits that continuously enhance a positive self-image and a high level of confidence. Focus on doing the right things for the right reasons.

The key to changing any habit is having a desire to change. Desire is reinforced by your conviction that your goals and priorities are right. Habits are very powerful and difficult to break. Therefore, you must really want to change and the rewards or the consequences must outweigh the alternative. If not, you’ll do what’s comfortable. It is frequently easier to do what is familiar than to do what we know is right, but familiar may not be best.

Choose the outcomes you desire. Who you are today may have been the result of choices made by many others in years past. Who you become tomorrow will be a result of choices you make today. Look to the future, not to the past. View setbacks not as failures but as learning experiences and opportunities for growth. Situations do not control you. If you feel your job, your life, your boss, your employees, or your family controls your time, you’ve chosen to let them. You can choose to control your own life. You can select the events in which you want to participate and affect the ultimate outcome. Alan Kay once said, “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” People may choose to control our lives, but they are only successful of we choose to let them. What you accomplish and the amount of time you spend getting there depends on the choices you continue to make.

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Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 27 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. Contact Surya ats6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information, visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.