Stages of Training in Dharma

With this article we come to the last and final of the series in Inward and Outward Realities. In the previous article, I discussed practicing the Dharma. Those who practice the Dharma should train themselves to understand in the following stages:

The training that is easy to learn, gives immediate results, and is suitable for every time, every place, for people of every age and either sex, is to study in the school of this body — a fathom long, a cubit wide, and a span thick — with its perceiving mind in charge. This body has many things, ranging from the crude to the subtle, that are well worth knowing.

The steps of the training:

1. To begin with, know that the body is composed of various physical properties, the major ones being the properties of earth, water, fire, and wind; the minor ones being the aspects that adhere to the major ones: things like color, smell, shape, etc.

These properties are unstable (inconsistent), stressful, and unclean. If you look into them deeply, you will see that there's no substance to them at all. They are simply impersonal conditions, with nothing worth calling "me" or "mine." When you can clearly perceive the body in these terms, you will be able to let go of any clinging or attachment to it as an entity, your Self, someone else, this or that.

2. The second step is to deal with mental phenomena (feelings, perceptions, thought-formations, and consciousness). Focus on keeping track of the truth that these are characterized by arising, persisting, and then disbanding. In other words, their nature is to arise and disband, arise and disband, repeatedly. When you investigate to see this truth, you will be able to let go of your attachments to mental phenomena as entities, as your Self, someone else, this or that.

3. Training on the level of practice doesn't simply mean studying, listening, or reading. You have to practice so as to see clearly with your own mind in the following steps:

a. Start out by brushing aside all external concerns and turn to look inside at your own mind until you can know in what ways it is clear or murky, calm or unsettled. The way to do this is to have mindfulness and self-awareness in charge as you keep aware of the body and mind until you have trained the mind to stay firmly in a state of normalcy, i.e., neutrality.

b. Once the mind can stay in a state of normalcy, you will see mental formations or preoccupations in their natural state of arising and disbanding. The mind will be empty, neutral, and still — neither pleased nor displeased — and will see physical and mental phenomena as they arise and disband naturally, of their own accord.

c. When the knowledge that there is no self to any of these things becomes thoroughly clear, you will meet with something that lies further inside, beyond all suffering and stress, free from the cycles of change — deathless — free from birth as well as death, since all things that take birth must by nature age, grow ill, and die.

d. When you see this truth clearly, the mind will be empty, not holding onto anything. It won't even assume itself to be a mind or anything at all. In other words, it won't latch onto itself as being anything of any sort. All that remains is a pure condition of Dharma.

e. Those who see this pure condition of Dharma in full clarity are bound to grow disenchanted with the repeated sufferings of life. When they know the truth of the world and the Dharma throughout, they will see the results clearly, right in the present, that there exists that which lies beyond all suffering. They will know this without having to ask or take it on faith from anyone, for the Dharma is paccattam, i.e., something really to be known for oneself. Those who have seen this truth within themselves will attest to it always.

Practicing the Dharma

Continuing our theme of Inner and Outer realities, I'll discuss this week how to practice 'Dharma' in pursuing true happiness. Naturally the mind is not willing to stop and look, to stop and know itself, which is why we have to keep training it continually so that it will settle down from its restlessness and grow still. Let your desires and thought-processes settle down. Let the mind take its stance in a state of normalcy, not liking or disliking anything. To reach a basic level of emptiness and freedom, you first have to take a stance. If you don't have a stance against which to measure things, progress will be very difficult. If your practice is hit-or-miss — a bit of that, a little of this — you won't get any results. So the mind first has to take a stance.

When you take a stance that the mind can maintain in a state of normalcy, don't go slipping off into the future. Have the mind know itself in the stance of the present. Right now it's in a state of normalcy. No likes or dislikes have arisen yet. It hasn't created any issues. It's not being disturbed by a desire for this or that.

Then look on in to the basic level of the mind to see if it's as normal and empty as it should be. If you are really looking inside, really aware inside, then that which is looking and knowing is mindfulness and discernment in and of itself. You don't need to search for anything anywhere else to come and do your looking for you. As soon as you stop to look, stop to know whether or not the mind is in a state of normalcy, then if it's normal you'll know immediately that it's normal. If it's not, you'll know immediately that it's not.

Take care to keep this awareness going. If you can keep knowing like this continuously, the mind will be able to keep its stance continuously as well. As soon as the thought occurs to you to check things out, you'll immediately stop to look, stop to know, without any need to go searching for knowledge from anywhere else. You look, you know, right there at the mind and can tell whether or not it's empty and still. Once you see that it is, then you investigate to see how it's empty, how it's still. It's not the case that once it's empty, that's the end of the matter; once it's still, that's the end of the matter.

That's not the case at all. You have to keep watch of things, you have to investigate at all times. Only then will you see the changing — the arising and disbanding — occurring in that emptiness, that stillness, that state of normalcy.

True Happiness

Happiness, to me is an outward expression of an inward emotion. True happiness is letting the joy, fear, hope, and sadness of life flow from the inside outward. It’s raw but its real and that’s what makes it beautiful.

Our spiritual journey does not start with a clean slate. We carry with us a prepackaged set of values and preconceived ideas which, unless confronted and redirected, will soon scuttle our journey, or else turn it into pharisaism, the occupational hazard of religious and spiritual people.

The developmental character of human life has become much better known in the last hundred years, and it has enormous implications for the spiritual journey. Our personal histories are computerized, so to speak, in the bio-computers of our brains and nervous systems. Our memory banks have on file everything that occurred from the womb to the present, especially memories with strong emotional charges.

We may not remember the events of early childhood, but the emotions do. When events occur later in life that resemble those once felt to be harmful, dangerous, or rejecting, the same feelings surface. The human heart is designed for unlimited happiness - for limitless truth and for limitless love - and nothing less can satisfy. We travel down various roads that promise happiness but can't provide it because they are only partial goods. Since the emotional programs from early childhood are already in place, our search for happiness in adult life tends to be programmed by child-like expectations that cannot possibly be realized.

We come now to the heart of the problem of the human condition. Jesus addressed this problem head-on in the gospel. What was his first word when beginning his ministry? "Repent." To repent is not to take on afflictive penances like fasting, vigils, flagellation or whatever else appeals. It means to change the direction in which you are looking for happiness.

Quantum Leap

If you have ever found yourself looking within yourself (attempting to assess what you need from an insider's perspective, while recognizing that at that moment you sense you are an outsider to your own self) then you might have concluded that, on more than one occasion, you may not know what you need because how can you be inside and be objectively outside yourself.

How can I give up something I love? It's all I know, right? Do I want to let go of something I have loved? No, I can't let go!

However, a quantum leap can occur when you learn to change the phrasing to say, "How can I let go of something I have found frustrating, debilitating, painful, and hateful?"

This will allow you to shift from a frame of entrapment to one of permission - permission to accept the notion that maybe it is okay to "let go" of the past and not shame the identity that was so profoundly attached to you. You can accept your perceived known identity and integrate it with what has not yet been developed. You can feel frustrated, painful, hurt, and angry at a life that did not bring lasting happiness, without causing shame and hate upon your core self.

And so, how can this shift bring a sense of comfort within your soul? Honestly, it may not. However, it may. Each of us is unique, and we each must look inward to look outward, or vice-versa; in order to find what can enable our own movement towards healing. What is helpful for me is to write down my thoughts. As they become written, I become clearer as to my thoughts. But words that remain on paper can fade as time passes. So, for me, I need to speak them outwardly, not just inwardly. My friends listen, and in conversation, my thoughts can be accepted, stretched, or understood. I like to process inside and outside.

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds and bring balance and harmony to your life. Clear out and forgive the memories and energies you hold within you to create a well-being in your inner and outer worlds.

The energy of everyone you have known and everything you have done resides within you. This energy affects your behavior now. It’s part of the filter and belief system that makes up your perception and how you interpret everything that happens to you. For example, if you have been carrying around guilt and a belief that you are not good at intimate relationships because of an event in the past, that energy and those beliefs affect all your intimate relationships now and maintains the perception that you can’t be successfully form intimate relationships. Even when opportunities in life arise where you can be close to another, you may push them away or misperceive their actions because of the energy you still carry with you. You need to clear and balance that negative energy so it can no longer affect your experience of life in a negative way. It’s like clearing away a fog that prevents you from seeing life as it really is. Gradually you get back to your clear, natural state of Love and Joy.

It is your inner energies that are creating your reality. Events in the outer world, our objective reality, are just events and affect everyone differently because we all carry different energy within us. The way we interpret these events, due to our memories, programs and beliefs, creates our inner subjective reality. It is this inner reality that is creating our experience of life. It IS our life. So when we change our inner world, through clearing and balancing, we change the experience of life itself. Our perception changes. We start noticing different things in the outer world and giving them different meanings. This is an amazing thing to know because it means that you can take responsibility for your experience and have the power to change your world. As we all find more peace and balance within, our outer world will become one of more love, joy and harmony.

There is a special underlying formula used in many ancient as well as modern healing practices. It engages the subconscious, conscious and Higher Self all at once, your Whole Self. If you leave any one of these out, healing can’t take place.

Here is the formula: BALANCE = IDENTITY + LOVE + FORGIVENESS + GRATITUDE

IDENTITY: When you first notice there is a problem, you have a choice. You can either engage in the problem and become part of it with blame and thinking, or you can choose to see it for what it is, unbalanced energy, and begin the healing and clearing process. It is a matter of identity. Are you identifying with the problem? or are you identifying with the greater part of you, the Divine part of you that can heal it?

LOVE: You send Love to the problem. You are accepting the problem rather than suppressing it. If you suppress something, it persists and gets stuck. It does not change; it just keeps coming back and bothering you over and over again. Instead, you can recognize that it is just energy within you that is trying to be integrated and healed. Love connects you to your Higher Self / God / Divinity which is the true healer, and, love gets the energy unstuck and flowing. So, all healing involves Love. Healing is integrating and gathering back the unbalanced energy so it can be balanced.

FORGIVENESS: Forgiveness is freedom. What you are forgiving is not that you did something wrong or that the problem is wrong. Nothing is wrong; it’s just out of balance because this energy was created in you through wounding and misperceptions which is just part of the human process. In forgiving you are recognizing that you are responsible for these energies within you and that you are also the means to allow their clearing. So, in evoking forgiveness you are allowing the memories, patterns, and energies to be released. You are done clinging to them and you are giving them permission to be integrated and healed.

GRATITUDE: Finally, a feeling of gratitude for the entire healing process. This seals it.  When you are thankful for something you accept that it has been done and given to you. Gratitude is also blessing and love for Who you are, What you are doing, and the harmony and balance that you have brought into the world through this work.

You can do this clearing process on the go.  Every time a problem comes up you repeat the phrases: “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, Thank you.” In this simple way, you can clear energy and memories as they arise throughout your day. It is highly effective. Every time you identify with the powerful healer in you and not focusing on the problem, you are clearing and creating change for yourself. And remember, if you are not clearing the problem, and you engage in it instead, you are actually making the problem stronger. Energy follows thought.

Any energy in your life that is causing you a problem can be healed and transformed. You can work on problems in a relationship, either past of present, a younger version of yourself, blocks and limiting beliefs, a traumatic event, a physical problem, or an emotional problem. You can transform any problem you have in your inner world or outer world.  As the energy is healed and cleared, your experience in the outer world shifts as well.

It is my intention to help you heal, to bring you these techniques so you can free yourself of energies that no longer serve you, to clear and release them so you can experience your natural state of love, joy and personal power. Blessings on your path.

Interconnection between Inner and Outer Realities

Eastern philosophies and religions advise us to look inward, and not outward, for the reality in which we choose to participate.

There are many things, good and bad, occurring in the universe we physically perceive. Those can pull us up the great heights of expectation, anticipation, and joy. They can also pull us down into disappointment, despair, anger, and illness.

Like everyone else, I struggle — with great difficulty often — to maintain an inner focus and an inner peace. It is not easy because I, like so many others, have become fascinated with the idea of an “I-ness.”

The East teaches us there really is no individual. There is no separation between one thing and the next. There is only continuity. My thought touches your thought, and my actions reach you. Independence is a lie. A total wholeness is the only reality.

It is hard to perceive that total wholeness when we see a world in which our highly evolved (perhaps) brains tell us everything is separate. So in order to see it as it truly is — all connected — we must half-close our eyes to remember that what we see is not the whole story. It is only a very small part of the total reality.

We dim our vision in order to see things as they are.

We go within ourselves to find the peaceful connectedness we so desperately need, that which tells us there is no such thing as a future or a past. There is no such thing as death or life. There is no such thing as here or there. There is only one moment, right here, right now. That is always the only reality.

Inner And Outer Realities

Continuing with the last week's thoughts on my outer world realities as a reflection of my inner turmoil; is it any wonder that if we are inwardly in turmoil then we are certain to see a tumultuous world? 

Just as we question our personal intentions and behaviors to change, we also must question the social intentions and behaviors of our current society. The two are never separate. What applies to the individual is equally applicable to the collectivity and the society.

Growth and moving forward begins the moment we summon the courage to create change in our lives. Courage is a universal phenomenon. It is something we all muster up in times of challenge.

Come Together

The challenges and travails we endure as individuals we also endure as a collective society. However, without awareness of this we fail to see that our individual problems stem from the fact that our cultural ethic condones a life of isolation, fear for survival, the need for comparison, as well as a multitude of other ways of being that diminish our quality of life. And in the same way that we are numb to the disastrous effects that the corporate state is having on the planet, so too are we numb to the fact that this corporate state and the life it espouses is detrimental to us as individuals.

Finding Ethics Over Fear

Early this year, as part of a series of articles on Quantum Physics of Beliefs, I wrote in one of those articles, Quantum Physics of Belief - Scarcity is a Limiting Belief that the competitive business practices advocate that there is not enough for everyone to win, and therefore we have to make sure we are one of the winners. This demonstrates that we believe profits are not abundant, but rather they are scarce; and that the only way to secure our personal or business need is to compete against each other. As shown in that article, this fear driven ethic is simply a self-limiting belief; underlying this is a profound reality that there is no limit to the abundance that exists in the world, except for the limits that exist in our minds. As such, we can learn to be better at choosing how we perceive the world.

But without questioning and inquiring into the possibility of a new way of life, at both the individual level and at the societal level, we condone a spiritual death that eventually consumes the entire soul of humanity.

I encourage you to think for yourself and question standard cultural assumptions. For example, question to yourself, what is “progress” at the social level? Is progress all about how we create greater sums of profit? But has not profiteering off the destruction of our ecosystems had devastating global consequences?

Outward To Inward

The dominant cultural ethic suggests to us that our advancements in technology, medicine, and production outweigh the consequences of their proliferation. Yet, a race that is not mature enough to use advanced technology destroys itself. A race that does not allow its greatest medical achievements to reach everyone, because it is a for-profit industry, leaves millions bankrupt and or dead prematurely. We need to look at this reality if we are to grow as individuals.

Whatever happened to the idea that progress is the creation of a communal ethic that creates harmony out of the empathy we feel for each other?

Real individual growth is all about being aware to the fact that our lives are inseparable and thus creating a society that allows for harmony between our inner and outer realities. Without questioning ourselves and without questioning society we fail to grow. The two are not separate. Everyone depends on each other for their individual survival.

Given the state of our world as it is now we can no longer afford to be afraid to look at the hard truth.

Facing the Change

It is becoming overwhelmingly apparent that our society is in the midst of big challenges. Here in the United States of America we have staggering inequality, a real unemployment rate around 8%, and the future of our current economic infrastructure is in imminent danger of collapsing.

The corporate elite who cajoled the public, without a voice, into bailing out their institutions with taxpayer subsidies created a situation that devastated the middle and lower classes. The elite who control political and economic affairs know the system is broken. They are using all tactics possible to accumulate the last bits of wealth and dismantle public power as they go out to create their untouchable gated oasis.

Unregulated markets make monsters out of men, and yet the real problem is our apathy that condones this way of life. We must seek personal insights to overcome our unique personal challenges; we also need to seek social insight into the way we live.

Again, as we fail to see that the collective social problem is our personal problem we are creating a future that is not in the favor of the majority of people. The excess and narcissistic indulgence that we enjoy now comes at a major cost when we will no longer be able to afford the security we need to survive in the future as the integrity of our planet degrades.

Living As One

Spiritual and emotional work is not just personal. It is primarily social.  Imagine asking Martin Luther King or Gandhi what was important to them. It was not their individual gains that led to personal well being, but rather it was the joy and sense of accomplishment they received from their involvement in pushing society towards justice for all. When we continue to allow those in power to keep “business as usual” without protesting for what is “right” justice and equality continue to decay. To see the truth can be a scary thing. But without knowledge and insight we will not grow, but rather, we will cannibalize ourselves into spiritual death.

St. Augustine stated that the rebel knows that hope has two beautiful daughters, anger and courage — anger at the way things are and the courage to see they do not remain as they are. We are at a point now that individual growth is short sighted if it does not account for the well-being of others and a healthy functioning planet.

Do not expect any government to fix these problems. These problems are not exterior to any of us. They are within us. And only with radical courage to see things as they are and a determined collective of voices to make change can we grow as both individuals and as a collective society. We are undoubtedly one. And the challenges we face as individuals, in a profound way, arise because we have lost sight of establishing a society that puts the gains of the community first as opposed to the gains of the individual.

Next week, I'll continue with the interconnection between the inner and outer realities. Namaste!

Our Inner Dialogue Determines Our Outer Reality

I recently got a dose of reality after realizing something I was working on was not working out as well as I wanted it to. There was a miscalculation on my part and I felt the energy being drained out of me. I thought I had everything under control. How could this happen? I am sure anyone who reads this have felt like that at some point in their life. Something happened that you were not prepared for and that you were not expecting. It left you feeling vulnerable and exposed.

For a while I felt drained and I was dwelling in negativity. At first I thought this is really bad and I was wondering how I would turn it around again. But then something unexpected happened. As the emotional charge around the event subsided something really good came out of it. I made a breakthrough on a spiritual level.

I knew my thoughts were important and that my inner reality determines my outer reality, but I could never quite manage to make it work for me. There was always something negative that came into my mind after a while, I just could not keep my inner dialogue positive. And for that reason my outer reality still was not changing the way I wanted it to.

It was only through this apparent ‘crises’ that I went through that I could make the shift in my inner reality. Reading people’s comments to my radio show presentation on the Power of Intention and the related articles posted on Facebook, it became clear to me what was going on and what I needed to do. I now know my outer reality is a reflection of my inner reality and that my inner reality is completely under my control. There is no more looking for excuses and being uncertain of what I want. I was still held back by things in my past and it was that way by choice.

What I realized now is that I can’t change my outer reality before I take full responsibility for my inner world. I would always try to be positive but after a while a small doubt would enter my mind and eventually I would become negative again. But now I have made a clear decision to take responsibility for my inner world and every time I recognize a negative thought creeping up on me I change it to something positive. The confusion which occurred in my outer world was just a reflection of the disorder inside.

When things were not going as I planned I thought it was random and that I was a victim. But I now know that I created it. Because my inner world was random and disorderly the same thing happened on the outside. I finally got it! We tend to think failure is a bad thing but it always comes to teach us something when we are open for it. Failure is nothing but success in disguise. In truth, failure does not exist; failure is when you fail to recognize the lesson that failure came to teach you.

Quantum Physics of Beliefs - Energy Management

Most professional athletes have days off between matches or tournaments. Some sports have off seasons. But in your career, except for vacation weeks, you are expected to be in tournament-form every day, eight to 12 hours a day. It’s no wonder so many leaders are tired and stressed out. It’s a big leadership challenge. If only there was a pause or reset button.

Even soldiers get R&R (Rest and Rehabilitation) days. But very few of the senior leaders I know and coach take enough time off to refresh and renew themselves. There’s just too much at stake, they tell me. “I’ll take a few days off after this project settles down,” and the excuses seem to be really valid. Or, are they?

Many of us work nonstop, day after day, without a break. It might feel like we are making progress, but it’s draining. When we do get ahead, what do we do? Tackle a new project. And on and on it goes. We don’t stop to ask the questions:

Am I doing the right things in the right way for the right reasons?

Am I still on a track that will get me to where I want to be next year?

Am I doing what I truly love and value?

So, think about what could help sustain energy: create a way to pause during the day, even several times. Maybe 3-5 minutes; more if possible. Even a minute of quiet time where you can breathe, clear your mind, and remind yourself of what truly matters, what your values are, will refresh you.

If you are an over-committed leader, please note that it’s not a matter of time management, but of energy management. You need regular breaks every 90 minutes; and if you can afford it, it is recommended to take a break once an hour.

Even if you only do this once or twice a day, it will help you to find energy. Take a moment to take stock, realign yourself with your goals and values, and refocus on your purpose. (Watch this why PURPOSE is so important.) Regular rest stops are useful. They refuel your body and mind. They actually give me renewed energy and drive, and make it easier to create the time and space for what truly matters.

Are you Leading your Life with 'Intention?'

By the way, did you ever watch this video clip by Jim Carey?

Let me remind you what 'intention' means... Definition of INTENTION (from Merriam-Webster Dictionary) -

1: a determination to act in a certain way : resolve

2: import, significance

3: what one intends to do or bring about

If you are an intentional leader in life, you will never know your strength as a leader until you have weathered the storms. You will never know what you are made of and how far your roots go down until adversity strikes and you are put through the test.

How are you when the unexpected happens?

When someone attacks your character? 

When you have lost what is most important to you? 

How do you respond? 

How we react is based on how strong our foundation is.

How we respond reflects the very character of who we are.

Character comes in being rooted firmly in who you are and knowing what you can and cannot do. If it is your integrity that has been attacked, are you quick to set the record straight or can you rest, knowing that truth is all that matters? If the unexpected happens, do you accept it with grace, knowing that God is in control or do you fall apart?

Maybe you haven’t thought about the foundation of your life, because you have never had to.  Living as an intentional leader means living everyday using all that has been given to us to the fullest.

It means thinking ahead.

It means being ready for the storms.

It means being strong.

It means knowing who you are.

It is living everyday a life of intention, a life that makes a difference.

Embracing Diversity thru Self Awareness

Last week, I discussed the importance of asking both Why? and How? questions in solving problems. This week, let me expand the discussion further to answer the following question: Is this diversity necessarily a good thing when it comes to solving problems? We tend to assume that we’ll get better results from groups of people from different backgrounds and possessing a variety of skills than we would from groups with a single orientation. That means diversity of many types, not only differences of culture, ethnicity and gender, but also variety of expertise, intellectual perspective, values and interests. They are all important for collaborative public policy.

We may believe in the value of diversity from intuition, ideological conviction and personal experience. But do we have rigorous models and empirical evidence to support this belief?

Cognitive Diversity

All forms of diversity are not equally effective. It’s the differences in perspectives and methods of approaching problems that most often lead to better outcomes. This is what is called cognitive diversity. Variety in the way problems are framed and interpreted helps a group get unstuck when a single approach can’t produce a workable solution.

It comes to us naturally, without forethought. Our way of looking at the world is not something we typically question. It just is. We accept it and expect that others will do the same. In fact, we may go so far as to think that others are “wrong” and we are “right” in the way we look at the world.

Differing ways of looking at the world, interpreting experience, solving problems and predicting future possibilities work together to produce a distinctive mental tool set. Groups with this sort of variety consistently outperform groups working with a single problem-solving perspective.

Identity Diversity

When it comes to convening a collaborative policy group, though, diversity usually refers to cultural, ethnic and gender balance. Identity diversity, satisfies the crucial need for fairness and equity, but, by itself, doesn’t ensure better problem-solving. Again, the picture is complicated because there are many forms of identity diversity – culture, gender, age, socio-economic status, among others. The evidence points to cultural diversity as having the most significant impact.

Variety of cultural and ethnic backgrounds often correlates with more creative and effective solutions than other types of identity diversity. That’s because differing cultural perspectives, language and experience can also mean different ways of thinking and defining problems.

A group of people who can look at a problem in opposite ways is much more likely to come up with innovative solutions than one dependent on a single perspective. Cultures develop their own sense of what’s important and what the mind needs to focus on, and that leads to very different ways of defining and solving problems. So cultural difference is most effective when it’s also characterized by cognitive difference.

That link, however, may not always exist. People from differing ethnic or cultural backgrounds may acquire the same training, skill sets and experience as people from the prevailing culture. In that case, they’ll likely think about things in the same way, and the deeper differences disappear. Other types of identity differences can also add richness of thought, but the data link cultural and ethnic identity with the greatest overall benefit.

So, don’t stop with cultural diversity. Also make sure that participants don’t all rely on the same toolsets to solve problems. The group needs to have a rich variety of perspectives, interpretations, methods of solving problems and approaches to predicting the future – that is, all the elements of cognitive diversity. That added dimension increases the likelihood that such groups will find a more creative and effective result.

Preference Diversity

Probably the first thing that comes to mind in putting together a collaborative group – indeed its main purpose – is to include the full range of interest groups most likely to be affected by a decision – and most likely to oppose it if they are excluded. What about diversity of interests? Isn’t that essential to coming up with a better solution than one devised by a group representing a single interest?

Not necessarily. In fact, the most consistently disruptive element is divergence of interests and values – or preference diversity. That’s understandable since interest groups tend to complete with one another and fight to get their needs met. Drawn into a collaborative group, they are often not communicating well but still battling over fixed positions. Even if the group also possesses variety in problem-solving tools and cultural perspectives, divergent goals work against the beneficial effect they can have.

Groups with diverse cognitive toolboxes and diverse fundamental preferences have higher variance performance (they locate better outcomes and produce more conflict). So, if such groups can find a way to work together, they are likely to excel in producing creative solutions. But if they can’t get along, they can fail pretty badly.

Collaborative Leadership

What does that mean for an executive who wants to convene a group with just these characteristics? Is it as risky as a roll of the dice?

Not at all. Evidence shows that these complex groups get off to a rough start, often because they have to negotiate over the definition of the problem to be dealt with. There are many other reasons, such as hostility to new ideas, poor communication, efforts to control agendas, and so on. Over time, however, they can learn to work together more effectively. A key reason for success is good group management.

The best way to achieve effective group dynamics is to manage the process with collaborative leaders, possibly working with professional mediators and facilitators. In other words, people with the experience and skills to help groups work through conflict. The divisive force of fundamentally differing interests is strong and requires skill to manage effectively. Nothing will guarantee success, but effective group management can make all the difference in helping people learn how to get along and collaborate effectively.

Whether or not you agree with these methods and conclusions, they make a powerful case for the value of diversity.

Do you focus only on Diagnosing a problem? Or, Are you actually a Troubleshooter?

Have you ever noticed that some people are always looking at “Why?” When faced with obstacles or a problem occurs, they want to know the root cause. They focus on getting to the bottom on things, to diagnosing the problem. They primarily look backwards to track what led to the problem. This can be productive and helpful as it prevents the same problem from recurring. It can also be unproductive and even destructive when it turns into a pursuit of blame and shame.

Or maybe you have noticed that some people always seem to be looking at “How?” For them, when a problem presents itself, they start looking at alternatives. They want to know how to fix it, how to spin it into something different, or how to troubleshoot for next time. They tend to be looking forward, anticipating the outcomes and looking for ways to manage them. This can be productive and helpful when it works to make lemonade out of lemons. It can also be unproductive and even destructive when it ignores the diagnostic work needed in the here and now.

When faced with a problem, which are you more likely to ask first – Why? or How?

I find that knowing this about myself has been helpful, particularly when I listen to questions asked by someone I am collaborating with. If we both go straight into How? mode, we may miss out on some diagnostic work that needs to be done. We can also miss out on informing others about early process steps that need to be remedied or reconsidered. We just plow ahead, fixing it for next time.

On the other hand, if I go into How? questions when working with a Why? oriented person, we might as well be speaking different languages. We can easily get stuck going two very different directions. I’ll be asking questions like “How should we proceed?” and my co-collaborator will be asking “Why didn’t this work?” Both questions have merit. I can make a well-reasoned case for either of them, and I can understand that each of us is naturally inclined to pursue the question path that we usually do… But there is no good in getting stuck, so one of us has to yield.

When I yield, I do it with great trepidation. First, because the Why? questions sometimes involve finger-pointing, a practice I try to avoid at all times. I am fine with “a problem happened, now let’s move forward.” I don’t need to know who did what wrong. At least not now. I like to have things back on track before I worry about such things, if I do at all. The second reservation I have about yielding is that I don’t want to waste time. Sometimes, looking backward and lamenting what is in the past (the one thing we cannot change!), takes more time than I feel it is worth. I get frustrated by what seems like analysis paralysis to me.

Given my choice, I’d make a dozen attempts and finally get it right vs. taking time to analyze the first failed attempt at something. I now know that this drives some people crazy. They think I am taking unnecessary risks, that I am the one wasting time, that without logical analysis and diagnosis my efforts are all going to be in vain.

Neither of us is right, at least not all of the time. Sometimes, it is appropriate to slow down and look backwards before proceeding. Other times, plunging ahead and leaving the past behind is the better strategy. The trick is in knowing how to use both approaches. Or at least in accepting that there are two approaches, and the one you prefer is not always the best choice. Respecting that others have an alternate point of view makes each one of us more effective in problem solving, collaborating and connecting.

Next time you are faced with a problem, pay attention to the kinds of questions you ask. Are they predominantly Why? or How? questions? Who around you is asking the other type? That person is someone who can counter-balance your perspective, someone who may drive you crazy at the very same time they are the best partner you could ever wish for. After you have gained this self-awareness and found this foil to balance your perspective, try this stretch exercise: Stop asking your preferred question and force yourself to ask the other one. If you are, like me, someone who tends to ask How? force yourself to ask Why? You’ll learn even more about yourself in this exercise and will come to appreciate others’ perspectives differently, too.

Quantum Physics of Beliefs - Purpose

Continuing the topic from the last week's article ("When Helping Others is Your Life Purpose") let me discuss a little bit more deeply on what exactly is the 'Life Purpose'. I was actually driven to continue to write more about it while thinking about a question that I received on one of the Facebook groups in response to a VoARadio talk that I broadcast couple of weeks ago on the Quantum Physics of Beliefs - Power of Intentions Part1 and Part2. The question was "How do you know if it is your intention or someone else's?" In my response, I suggested to look at the classical meaning of the word intention - 'to have in mind a purpose or plan, to direct the mind, to aim' - and examine if it is indeed your plan/purpose to do something or someone else's? But, then I realized that there is more to 'purpose' than just a plan. So, let's delve into it...

LIVING YOUR PURPOSE

The original Latin meaning of the word purpose is derived from the word intention; (there you have it - intention and purpose go hand in hand) meaning that your purpose is there by (your) design and is something that you intend either consciously or unconsciously. When you intend for something to happen you are the one that makes it happen; it is not something or someone outside of yourself.

It's been said that great minds have purpose while others just have wishes. At some point in your life you have probably asked yourself the question "why am I here?" Or "what's the purpose that I am living in this world?" I think that most people with a healthy mind often ask this question and mostly at points in their lives when they are forced to take a time out. Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living and it is from examining our lives that we can look at it afresh and get a new perspective on why we are really here.

I believe that we all have a purpose for being here. There is a reason why you are here in this universe and that there is a specific role for you to fulfill. Even though this is a belief, I do think that anyone who is in touch with their spirit (or soul or inner self or whatever name you want to give it) will know that there is a part of you that long for more than just the day to day physical needs of life. We all dream for more and this desire, in a sense is fulfilled by your purpose. Your purpose in life is not a pre-assigned role, but rather a decision that you make as a result of introspection. There is no black board in the sky on which your purpose is written. There is however feelings and experiences that you long to experience while you are here and your purpose is what will cause you to experience, feel and be that which you long for on the deepest level of being a human "being."

Most people spend all their lives waiting for "a sign" as to what their purpose is. They spend all their lives trying to find their purpose instead of just deciding and using the power of intent to make things happen. Mahatma Gandhi as a young man saw things he did not like in South Africa and he decided that his purpose in life will be to get equal rights for all. Later on, when he returned to India, his purpose transformed to liberating his mother India from Colonial rule and establish democracy and self rule for the people. These became the very reason for him living and even though his purpose lead him on a very rocky road, his purpose did not change. All this was born in a truly committed decision. His committed decision lead to a definiteness of purpose; something that did not change, despite all the odds being against him. He found a purpose that was much bigger than himself that gave him leverage to achieve the impossible.

With a strong sense of purpose you can achieve virtually anything. Purpose is what gives you the reasons for doing something. In life there is a big difference between what you can do and what you actually do and the results usually come down to your motivation. Motivation is nothing but having a strong sense of purpose; a sense of knowing why you do what you do. When people don't know why they are doing something they will rarely do it and they will rarely stick with it long term. Purpose is the engine of human motivation. Purpose gives you the reasons why and with strong enough reasons "why to" you will find the "how to" - reasons come first and the answers come second as a result of the why.

Purpose therefore gives you power. It gives you the power to persist and take action until you succeed.

When you say that someone did something "on purpose" you are actually saying that he was responsible for doing it and that it is because of him that it happened. When you use your mind, your body and your emotions you have the ability to bring into being virtually anything on purpose. By intending for it to happen you can make it real. With a strong purpose you are able to tap into the unlimited resources that are within you; resources that become available because you feel compelled to make it happen. When it is a must you will find within yourself the resources to make it happen. When what you want is merely a wish, it is only a "should" that might only come together when it is convenient. Musts happen regardless of your circumstances or situation for it is your very purpose. It is your reason for being. Gandhi was able to change the way a whole nation thought and acted upon. With a strong enough purpose nothing can hold you back.

Discovering and living your purpose is all there really is for you to do in this life. It is like the axis of the wheel of your life and it holds everything in your life together. Your purpose gives meaning to everything you do and provides you with an inexhaustible well of resources to truly achieve whatever you set out to achieve or accomplish. The ironic thing however is that when you are on purpose all the "things and stuff' do not matter as the feeding of your purpose is what you truly long for and it needs no external satisfaction other than the experience.

Great minds have a purpose and it is usually a purpose that goes beyond themselves; beyond what they will "get". With their purpose they serve humanity. You can only find that much drive to serve and uplift yourself, but when you turn your attention to a cause much bigger than yourself you can find a purpose that has immense power to propel you to do virtually anything; even that which most people think of as impossible. The human spirit is truly one of love as we will do more for others than we will ever do for ourselves. When you find something that you can serve that goes beyond your personal gains you will discover that life's greatest joys is in giving; in giving the gift that you are.

When helping others is your life purpose

I hope you and yours have been well. It's been nearly 4 months since I took a leave of absence from writing here on my weekly eMBC Blog due to some very personal reasons including an unexpected death in the family. I realize that we are in an increased time of change... You too may be feeling a lot of movement or experiencing a lot of movement in your relationships, careers and life. As is the nature of change, it brings in exactly the energies necessary for us to move toward the Golden Age of empowerment, but it will require you to LET GO of all things not serving you... your misaligned patterns, behaviors, beliefs, relationships and habits. Don't fight it... instead, surrender so you may move with the waters of change. I promise they will take you exactly where you need to go.

While I was away, I did a lot of introspection on my purpose of doing this, writing blog articles, talking on the internet radio shows; hoping that this will somehow make a difference in the lives of other people either reading or listening in or am I crazy?

When helping others is your life purpose

I BELIEVE THAT EACH PERSON has a personal mission in life—something that you agreed to learn during this lifetime. It could be patience, forgiveness, compassion, balance, self-care, integrity, and so forth. Everyone is working on a soul-growth lesson.

In addition to their personal missions, some individuals agreed to take on “global missions,” which involve helping people, animals, the environment, or a cause other than themselves. Not everyone has a global mission. Some people on Earth are only living for their own personal growth.

Those who have global missions are known as lightworkers. This is a name I am using that encompasses similar terms such as Indigo, Crystal, and Earth Angel. You know you are a lightworker if you feel compelled to help others, and deeply care about the world. You attract people who need help, and you are sensitive to the needs of those around you. In fact, you sometimes feel that you are a bit too sensitive, as you absorb energies from others’ moods.

As a lightworker, you have always felt a sense of purpose, as if there is something important that you are destined to do in this lifetime. You may not know what this destiny entails, but you can feel it. All lightworkers do.

There is even a sense of time urgency associated with this, like an alarm clock ringing in the pit of your gut, urging you to go, go, go and make a positive difference in the world. These feelings are universal among lightworkers.

The great news is that, as a lightworker, you have been making a positive difference your entire life. You radiate healing energy that soothes others and brings peace wherever you go. That’s because your main global purpose is to love, which is something you do naturally. You care about people; and you wish that everyone could be happy, healthy, and well provided for. You are a giver.

So, the form that your mission takes is secondary as long as you extend Divine love. In other words, when you think about a career as a spiritual healer or teacher, the type of work you do isn’t important. Whether you teach or practice Reiki, Angel Therapy, medium-ship, or some other modality... if it’s done from a place of loving service, everything else is details.

With that in mind, there is a practical consideration when deciding on or forming a long-term relationship with your chosen field. Please make sure it is an area that truly excites and interests you. It is not smart to select one just because you have seen another person gain material success by that avenue.

Whatever type field you choose, please be certain that you love it. I have watched people create career goals with their heads, using business plans and projections, only to meet with one obstacle after another because their hearts weren’t in the work. And while planning and projecting can be helpful and prudent starting points for new business ventures, make sure that you are leading with your heart.

In spiritually based careers, your feelings and intuition are your road map. Your head is second in charge, as the employee of your heart.

So what topic—even if it seems illogical—really excites you? Let’s ask your higher self:

Take a moment to relax in a quiet place, either lying down or sitting. Close your eyes if possible, and give yourself full permission to dream about your ideal career. Then notice what images, thoughts, and feelings come to you:

§     Are you working alone, with a co-worker, or with several co-workers?

§     Do you operate from home, out of a healing center, or where?

§     What type of clients or students are you involved with?

§     How do you feel about this work?

As you allow yourself to imagine your ideal career, notice how warm and fulfilled you feel. These feelings are the ultimate paycheck, the greatest reward. And as you feel satisfied, your material benefits are drawn to you by the universal Divine Energy.

Your dream of having a full-time career as a ______ (fill in the blank) is much more than a dream. It’s a sign. If you continually imagine yourself having a meaningful career that supports you and your family financially, emotionally, and spiritually, then this is a sign that your life purpose involves this type of work.

Lightworkers are, by definition, sensitive. They are receptive to the energies in any room they walk into. They are attuned to other people’s moods and feelings and to environmental factors such as chemicals, pollution, or noise. They are conscious of the presence of angels.

And they are also sensitive to other people’s opinions. This sensitivity is both a gift and a lifesaving instinct. You see, your overall personality remains fairly constant throughout lifetimes. Once a lightworker, always a lightworker. Remember: Doesn't matter what field you have chosen... You already are a spiritual teacher and healer. You were born one, and you have been practicing your art for lifetimes.