Raising Compassionate Kids

Raising Compassionate Kids

20131221 Inspire and / or Motivate

20131221 Inspire and / or Motivate

Is Your Future Strategically Controlled?

Is Your Future Strategically Controlled?

Focusing on the Positive View to Success

Two people can view the same situation entirely different. One may see the glass half empty; another sees the glass half full.

Both observations are correct, but the subtle difference in thought process and phrasing is important. The former is bemoaning what isn’t and the latter is appreciating what is. The way you view and describe a situation greatly influences how you feel about it and how you respond to it. You have the power to choose how you see life. You always have the option of viewing situations in either a positive or negative manner.

When someone asks you how you genuinely feel about yourself, what thoughts first come to your mind? Do you instinctively think about your shortcomings and failures, or do you think about your worth and potential? Your view of yourself affects your development. When you focus on your potential, you foster vision and motivation for growth. When you expect positive outcomes, you will be more inclined to work for and get them. If you motivate employees and create an environment where they want to succeed, they will be more likely to do so. If you have positive expectations, they will strive to live up to them.

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and help them become what they are capable of being.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When you see life positively, you will be in a stronger position to ward off the negative influences that constantly bombard you. You will be able to set your goals and sustain your efforts to achieve them. Take an inventory of your internal attitudes. Listen closely to your dialogue with yourself. You will become increasingly aware of the many negative thoughts that you may entertain on a daily basis.

Be conscious of your thoughts and make a commitment to change those negative thoughts into positive commitments. Just as you exercise your body to make it healthy, exercise your mind with positive thoughts that begin with “I can” and “I will.” You have no doubt encountered people who move forward through life with vigor and enthusiasm. They seem to possess an indefinable quality that propels them over and around obstacles. They don’t get discouraged, and they don’t indulge in self-doubt or self-pity. That quality is a positive view of life. You can almost hear them saying aloud to themselves, “I can” and “I will,” and as a result they do!

When I Loved Myself Enough

As I promised last week, here is an excerpt by Alison McMillen, January 2001 from her mother, Kim McMillen's book: WHEN I LOVED MYSELF ENOUGH.

The author, Kim McMillen died in September of 1996, at the age of 52, only a few short months after writing the book. She was not ill and did not know that she was going to die. Her death was very sudden and it deeply shocked everyone who knew her.

When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little.

When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness.

When I loved myself enough I began taking the gift of life seriously and gratefully.

When I loved myself enough I began to know I was in the right place at the right time and I could relax.

When I loved myself enough I felt compelled to slow down way down. And that has made all the difference.

When I loved myself enough I bought a feather bed.

When I loved myself enough I came to love being alone surrounded by silence, awed by its spell, listening to inner space.

When I loved myself enough I came to see I am not special but I am unique.

When I loved myself enough I redefined success and life became simple. Oh, the pleasure of that.

When I loved myself enough I came to know I am worthy of knowing God directly.

When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me.

When I loved myself enough I gave up the belief that life is hard.

When I loved myself enough I came to see emotional pain is a signal I am operating outside truth.

When I loved myself enough I let the tomboy in me swing off the rope in Jackass Canyon. Yes!

When I loved myself enough I learned to meet my own needs and not call it selfish.

When I loved myself enough the parts of me long-ignored, the orphans of my soul, quit vying for attention. That was the beginning of inner peace. Then I began seeing clearly.

When I loved myself enough I began to see that desires of the heart do come, and I grew more patient and calm, except when I forgot.

When I loved myself enough I quit ignoring or tolerating my pain.

When I loved myself enough I started feeling all my feelings, not analysing them really feeling them. When I do, something amazing happens. Try it. You will see.

When I loved myself enough my heart became so tender it could welcome joy and sorrow equally.

When I loved myself enough I started meditating every day. This is a profound act of self-love.

When I loved myself enough I came to feel like a gift to the world and I collected beautiful ribbons and bows. They still hang on my wall to remind me.

When I loved myself enough I learned to ask 'Who in me is feeling this way?' when I feel anxious, angry, restless or sad. If I listen patiently I discover who needs my love.

When I loved myself enough I no longer needed things or people to make me feel safe.

called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.

When I loved myself enough I gave up perfectionism that killer of joy.

When I loved myself enough I could tell the-truth about my gifts and my limitations.

When I loved myself enough I quit answering the telephone when I don't want to talk.

When I loved myself enough forgiving others became irrelevant.

When I loved myself enough I could remember, during times of confusion, struggle or grief, that these too are part of me and deserve my love.

When I loved myself enough I could allow my heart to burst wide open and take in the pain of the world.

When I loved myself enough I started picking up litter on the street.

When I loved myself enough I could feel God in me and see God in you. That makes us divine! Are you ready for that?

When I loved myself enough I started writing about my life and views because I knew this was my right and my responsibility.

When I loved myself enough I began to see my purpose and gently wean myself from distractions.

When I loved myself enough I saw that what I resisted persisted like a small child tugging my skirt. Now I am curious and gentle when resistance comes tugging.

When I loved myself enough I learned to stop what I am doing, if even for a moment, and comfort the part of me that is scared.

When I loved myself enough I learned to say no when I want to and yes when I want to.

When I loved myself enough I saw beyond right and wrong and became neutral. At first I thought this was indifference; now I see the clarity that comes with neutrality.

When I loved myself enough I began to feed my hunger for solitude and revel in the inexplicable contentment that is its companion.

When I loved myself enough I could see how funny life is, how funny I am and how funny you are.

When I loved myself enough I recognised my courage and fear, my naivety and wisdom, and I make a place for each at my table.

When I loved myself enough I started treating myself to a massage at least once a month.

When I loved myself enough I realised I am never alone.

When I loved myself enough I stopped fearing empty time and quit making plans. Now I do what feels right and am in step with my own rhythms. Delicious!

When I loved myself enough I quit trying to impress my brother.

When I loved myself enough I stopped trying to banish the critical voices from my head. Now I say, Thankyou for your views' and they feel heard. End of discussion.

When I loved myself enough I let the part of me that still misses Kent feel sad instead of trying to stop her from loving him.

When I loved myself enough I began buying a hostess fruit pie for the teenager in me who loves them so. Once in a while, cherry.

When I loved myself enough I quit trying to be a saviour for others.

When I loved myself enough I lost my fear of speaking my truth for I have come to see how good it is.

When I loved myself enough I began pouring my feelings into my journals. These loving companions speak my language. No translation needed.

When I loved myself enough I stopped seeking 'experts' and started living my life.

When I loved myself enough I came to see how my anger teaches about responsibility and my arrogance teaches about humility, so I listen to both carefully.

When I loved myself enough I started eating organically grown food (except for those occasional fruit pies of course).

When I loved myself enough I could be at ease with the comings and goings of judgement and despair.

When I loved myself enough I was able to be treated to a $50 haircut and enjoy every minute of it.

When I loved myself enough I quit having to be right which makes being wrong meaningless.

When I loved myself enough I learned to grieve for the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.

When I loved myself enough I forgave myself for all the times I thought I wasn’t good enough.

When I loved myself enough things got real quite inside. Real nice.

When I loved myself enough I began listening to the wisdom of my body. It speaks so clearly through its fatigue, sensitivities, aversions and hungers.

When I loved myself enough I quit fearing my fear.

When I loved myself enough I quit rehashing the past and worrying about the future – which keeps me in the present where aliveness lives.

When I loved myself enough I realized my mind can torment and deceive me, but in the service of my heart it is a great and noble ally.

When I loved myself enough I began to taste freedom.

When I loved myself enough I found my voice and wrote this little book.

Leadership in Life

Any leader on the path to success can benefit from this mindset. So, this week, I am sharing this article that came from an Association that I am affiliated with. (Next week, I am going to share an excerpt from the book that is referenced in this article.)

You have probably heard some excellent leadership speeches in your time. Powerful leaders talking about the importance of having a vision, how to lead with charisma, creating the best environment for a team, communicating effectively, exhibiting integrity, generating passion for a mission, etc.

Recently, there was one such speech that appeared quite different, yet all of the above wouldn't be possible without the one quality it references. This speech has been attributed to Charlie Chaplin, yet research points to a re-translation of "When I Loved Myself Enough" by Kim McMillen.

Its theme is elegant, yet simple: Love. How does love figure in to being an effective leader? In more ways than you have probably thought. The characteristics that spring from love help to build a solid foundation for a good leader: authenticity, respect, maturity, self-confidence, simplicity, modesty, fulfillment, and more. These traits are necessary in leading yourself, your team, and your business.

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!

Passion - the X Factor

There are a lot of aspects to consider when hiring a candidate for an open position – skill set, years of experience, ability to fit into the company culture, etc. The list goes on and on. However, there’s one factor that many companies completely overlook, and it can often come back to haunt
them.

That factor is passion.

A candidate’s passion for what they do could be considered the “X Factor” of any hire. That’s because when a person has passion for their job, they are compelled and they are driven to not only carry out the duties of the position, but also to do so extraordinarily well. For people with passion, going through the motions is not an option. In fact, it’s not even a consideration.

Here are three reasons why employers should hire people with passion over people who lack it:
1. They are more productive – People with passion don’t leave at 5 p.m. on the dot, and they often work through lunch. They love what they do, so they do as much of it as they can. That translates into more productivity... a lot more. 

2. They are more engaged – You don’t have to make sure they are engaged in their job and with the company. If they have passion for what they are doing, they are practically self-engaging. This makes it far easier to retain the person over the long haul.

3. They are intrinsically motivated – You don’t need to throw huge amounts of money or a slew of perks at these candidates in order to make them happy. Verbal compliments and other forms of recognition for a job well done go a long way. Once again, this increases the chances of retaining their services.

As you can see, passion has a distinctly important role in the hiring process. Failure to identify which candidates possess it and which ones do not can have a negative impact on that process. In fact, it could even result in hiring the wrong person for the position.

Leading in Times of Change

Of the many issues with which we wrestle each day, one certain truth is: the future will not look like the present. Global competition, technology, and innovation will define the future. Yet many leaders continue to lead, manage, and operate as they have in the past.

There is a story by Price Pritchett in which he recounts his experience of viewing firsthand a life and death struggle that occurred just a few feet away from where he was sitting. He was watching a fly burn out the last of its short life’s energy in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of a windowpane. The frenzied effort of the fly gave no hope for survival. Ironically, had the fly just flown in another direction, it could have easily escaped through an open door.

All too often, we are like the fly. We try harder doing the same things, when instead we need to do different things. We must break the shackles of conformity, challenge the routine, and break out of existing paradigms. At the core of succeeding in today’s competitive environment is the ability to constantly improve and reinvent the way we do business. The key to working smarter is knowing the difference between motion and direction, between activity and focused action.

To lead, we must be adept at balancing what must stay constant with what must change. Nurture a culture in which people are encouraged to seek new and better methods, while feeling secure in the familiar and in the future success of their organization. Align all resources and strategies toward the realization of the vision and goals.

Alignment is the balanced harmony between people, processes, resources, and departments. It is a matter of aligning your vision with people, strategy, structure, and processes with focus on the customer and a foundation of core values. Because they are interdependent, they must be congruent. When all five critical components are aligned, results will continue to improve. If there is conflict between any two issues, there can be dissolution of the whole.

If people have the knowledge necessary to create positive change, but your processes make it too difficult for them to do so, motivation will wane and maintaining the status quo remains easier. If you are able through a shared vision to raise the level of motivation that exists in your organization, but your structure restricts innovation or high levels of productivity, the improvement will be temporary at best. All of the parts are important to the whole. Everyone becomes focused on doing the right things right, which results in organizational health, accelerated positive change, and strategic growth. Encourage people to be responsible for their own performance.

When all five critical organizational components are aligned with a focus on the customer, results will continue to improve.

I am enthusiastic over humanity’s extraordinary and sometimes very timely ingenuity. If you are in a shipwreck and all the boats are gone, a piano top buoyant enough to keep you afloat may come along and make a fortuitous life preserver. This is not to say, though, that the best way to design a life preserver is in the form of a piano top. I think that we are clinging to a great many piano tops in accepting yesterday’s fortuitous contrivings as constituting the only means for solving a given problem.  ~  R. Buckminster Fuller ((July 12, 1895 – July 1, 1983) was an American engineer, author, designer, inventor, and futurist.

Are You In Tune with the Emotions of the People

Excellent customer service providers are in tune with the emotions of the people they deal with through awareness and empathy.

They are proficient at handling conflicts, and they have the ability to maintain positive attitudes while engaged in their work. However, a continual barrage of negative customer interactions can be a reality within the role of service providers, and they can cause what is commonly called emotional labor.

Arlie Hochschild, author of The Managed Heart: Communication of Human Feeling, defines emotional labor as displaying a set of emotions that differ from the emotions the service provider is currently feeling. Based on this definition, people in service jobs who are acting differently than they are feeling can experience high doses of emotional labor which can cause stress, fatigue, and diminished impulse control.

Service providers deal with a higher level of stress no matter what product or service they provide due to the fact that customer interactions are always fueled with many types of emotions. Stress is a physical reaction that you experience when you cannot cope or have difficulty dealing with a negative or threatening situation. Due to the direct connection between a service provider’s role and stressful situation, learning how to understand, manage, and reduce stress becomes an important skill to master.

In the book Stress Management for Dummies, author Allen Elkin cites:

Ø  7 out 19 people felt stress at some point on a typical workday.

Ø  People reported that they lost their temper an average of 5 times a month.

Ø  Many people reported that stress contributes to doing things they regret later.

Ø  About 5% of those asked said stress was preventing them from enjoying their lives.

People under stress tend to be more on edge and will erupt more quickly and violently, increasing their number of conflicts with people in general. Extreme stress saps your energy because your body is functioning in emergency mode. Stress tightens your muscles, impacts your breathing and the flow of oxygen to your vital organs, and it can cause sleep to be difficult. High stress can put a strain on many of your bodily functions and can lead to high blood pressure, ulcers, and heart attacks. It can become a vicious cycle. Obviously, reducing stress can have many health benefits as well as making your life more enjoyable and rewarding. It is important to identify what pushes your buttons and produces stress in your life. Identifying your stress producers is the first step in effectively managing and reducing stress.

In order to effectively manage stress, you must build or increase your tolerance for stress. Stress management is your ability to deal effectively with adverse events and stressful situations without falling apart. Having a positive outlook on new experiences and change is also important. Plus the ability to stay calm and maintain control in stressful situations is a large part of building an increased tolerance level. People who excel at stress management tend to face crises and problems head on with a positive attitude rather than surrendering to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and self-doubt.

The first step is to understand where the stress is coming from or what events are activating the stressful feelings you are experiencing. Check out future blog for more on reducing and eliminating stress.

Pygmalion Effect - Setup To Fail Syndrome

Sometime ago, I wrote about self fulfilling prophecies and what is called the Pygmalion effect in psychological studies. Here I am going to explore a little more on how these expectations lead to a syndrome and set us up to fail.

When an employee fails—or even just performs poorly—managers typically do not blame themselves. The manager typically contends that the employee doesn’t understand the work;

the employee isn’t driven to succeed;

the employee can’t set priorities; or

the employee won’t take direction.

Whatever be the reason, the problem is assumed to be the employee’s fault—and the employee’s responsibility.

But, is it? Sometimes, of course, the answer is yes. Some employees are not up to their assigned tasks and never will be, for lack of knowledge, skill, or simple desire. But sometimes—and we would venture to say often—an employee’s poor performance can be blamed largely on his boss.

Perhaps “blamed” is too strong a word, but it is directionally correct. In fact, our research strongly suggests that bosses—albeit accidentally and usually with the best intentions—are often complicit in an employee’s lack of success.

How? By creating and reinforcing a dynamic that essentially sets up perceived underperformers to fail. If the Pygmalion effect describes the dynamic in which an individual lives up to great expectations, the set-up-to-fail syndrome explains the opposite. It describes a dynamic in which employees perceived to be mediocre or weak performers live down to the low expectations their managers have for them. The result is that they often end up leaving the organization—either of their own volition or not.

Here are the steps:

1. Before the Setup To Fail Syndrome begins, the boss and the staff member are typically engaged in a positive, or at least neutral relationship.

2. The triggering events in the Setup To Fail Syndrome is often minor or surreptitious. The staff member may miss a deadline, lose a client, or submit a subpar report. In other cases, the syndrome's genesis is the boss, who distances himself from the staff member for personal or social reasons unrelated to performance.

3. Reacting to the triggering event, the boss increases his supervision of the staff member, gives more specific instructions, and wrangles longer over course of action.

4. The staff member responds by beginning to suspect a lack of confidence and senses he is not part of the boss's in-group anymore. He starts to withdraw emotionally from the boss and from work. He may also fight to change the boss's image of him, reaching too high or running too fast to be effective.

5. The boss interprets this problem - hoarding, overreaching, or tentativeness as signs that the staff member has poor judgment and weak capabilities. If the staff member does perform well, the boss does not acknowledge it or considers it a lucky 'one off.' He limits the staff member's discretion, withholds social contact, and shows, with increasing openness, his lack of confidence in and frustration with the staff member.

6. The staff member feels boxed in and under-appreciated. He increasingly withdraws from his boss and from work. He may even resort to ignoring instructions, openly disrupting the boss, and occasionally lashing out because of feelings of rejection. In general, he performs his job mechanically and devotes more energy to self-protection. Moreover, he refers all non-routine decisions to the boss or avoids contact with him.

7. The boss feels increasingly frustrated and is now convinced that the staff member cannot perform without intense oversight. He makes this known by his words and deeds, further undermining the staff member's confidence and prompting inaction.

8. When the Setup To Fail Syndrome is in full swing, the boss pressures and controls the staff member during interactions. Otherwise, he avoids contact and gives the staff member routine assignments only. For his part, the staff member shuts down or leaves, either in dismay, frustration, or anger.

Perhaps the most daunting aspect of the set-up-to-fail syndrome is that it is self-fulfilling and self-reinforcing—it is the quintessential vicious circle.

The process is self-fulfilling because the boss’s actions contribute to the very behavior that is expected from weak performers. It is self-reinforcing because the boss’s low expectations, in being fulfilled by his staff members, trigger more of the same behavior on his part, which in turn triggers more of the same behavior on the part of staff members.

And on and on, unintentionally, the relationship spirals downward.

Neuroplasticity and Self-Perception

I often hear people describe themselves, "I am the kind of person who… " or, "I am not a people person” etc. These seemingly off-the-cuff descriptions suggest that they are resigned to not changing their self-perception – regardless if it’s inaccurate or self-defeating.

Let's look at the possibilities of using our experiences to positively shift our self-perception – and retrain our brains. Have you seen the advertisements by lumosity.com for brain exercises? Let me explain.

What we often refer to when we describe or how we perceive in ourselves is based on our own emotional reactions, the way we respond to adversity, and the kinds of moods that we often inhabit. And these are differences that do exist among people. They are part of an umbrella that are called ‘emotional styles’ [Richard J Davidson listed 6 of these in his book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain: How its unique patterns affect the way you think, feel and live—and how you can change them; and in Tara Bennett-Goleman's book, Emotional Alchemy, she identified 10 emotional styles]. It's one of the things that gives a lot of color to our life.

Neuroplasticity – Science Based Medicine

Back in the 1980’s, the Dalai Lama asked a group of world class neuroscientists (I believe it was aired on PBS and sections of it are available on YouTube) if the mind could change the brain. It was a loaded question with deeper meaning. Does the brain direct us, or do we direct the brain? Are we genuinely free? Or are we stuck with the way genetics [Nature?] and early childhood [Nurture?] conditioning wired our brains, with no real potential in our makeup for personal growth and spiritual transformation. The latter was the answer the scientists gave the Dalai Lama. They said the mind cannot change the brain.

However, Science was Wrong.

It's very difficult to admit, I know; being a trained scientist myself – I earned a Ph D degree in Physics. Or, rather, the scientists were wrong at the time, nearly 30 years ago; not the science. Breakthroughs in research have now proved that the brain responds to the mind. Mental practice can take a few high level neurons and build it into a humming network, providing you with the brain power to produce optimal results in whatever you pursue. The term given to this wonderful neurological property is neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity just might be a most powerful asset for the humanity.

Seek Experiences That Positively Reshape Your Brain

Sometimes the variations in our perceptions can be uncomfortable. They can result in suffering. These are all variations we know to be associated with particular brain circuits. The idea of neuroplasticity is simply that the brain changes in response to experience.

It changes in response to our actions.

It changes in our response to our relationships.

It changes in our response to specific training.

These activities will shape the brain, and we can take advantage of neuroplasticity and actually play a more intentional role in shaping our own brains in ways that may be health promoting, and ways that can cultivate well being.

It Even Works Through Imagination

Neuroplasticity even works through imagination to learn, build, and strengthen difficult skill-sets. I am sure, you are well aware of the research with visualization and the basketball training. The results were astounding. There was significant improvement on the group that only visualized; they were almost as good as the guys who actually practiced. The bottom line is that the mind can change the brain; and is widely used in sports coaching. Did you watch the movie (based on real life story), Peaceful Warrior?

You Can Teach Old Dogs New Tricks

The adage that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks does not apply to the brain. The brain is quick to organize around changes we want to affect when we practice consistently. When we do, neuroplasticity makes changes quickly.

• It takes about 10 weeks for mindfulness therapy to change the brain in obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
• It takes about 8 weeks of cognitive therapy to change the brain in depression.
• It takes about 8 weeks of mindfulness-based stress reduction to shift the prefrontal cortical activity from right to left.
• It takes about 10 days of constraint induced therapy to rebuild the motor cortex in stroke victims and restore significant use of an arm that physicians once thought was irrevocably damaged.
• It takes less than one week of mentally practicing a five-finger piano exercise for the motor cortex to expand in support of the new skill.
• It takes just about 2 hours of engaging in a video game to actually structurally build new neural networks in your brain.

Some of the problems, such as stroke damage and obsessive compulsive disorder, were once considered incurable. Yet the power of neuroplasticity is in generating significant progress in these cases and in a relatively short period of time. If neuroplasticity is this effective in extreme situations, how much more can it do to transform a brain wired for stress?

It’s amazing how dynamic these changes can be. That underscores how extraordinarily dynamic our brains are, constantly being shaped this way and that way. Most of the time we are not aware of how our brains are being shaped by the forces around us.

The most recent research indicates that many of these different mechanisms of neuroplasticity persist for the entire lifespan, and one of the most important mechanisms of plasticity is the growth of actual new brain cells. That happens throughout life, until our last day. Those cells play a very important role in plasticity.

It all comes back to practice. Through practice, we can construct a new autopilot that is wired for a calmer, clearer, more fiercely alive intelligence that can do anything we set our minds to.

NOTE: To those of you who are interested in finding more details of what I summarized above of the scientific results, here is a video talk on: Transform Your Mind, Change Your Brain

I must caution that this is a highly scholarly talk but, Prof. Richard J. Davidson will explore recent scientific research on the neuroscience of positive human qualities and how they can be cultivated through contemplative practice. Distinctions among different forms of contemplative practices will be introduced and they will be shown to have different neural and behavioral consequences, as well as important consequences for physical health in both long-term and novice practitioners. New research also shows that meditation-based interventions delivered online can produce behavioral and neural changes. Collectively, this body of research indicates that we can cultivate adaptive neural changes and strengthen positive human qualities through systematic mental practice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tRdDqXgsJ0

Finding Opportunity

Is talk of the "crazy economy" getting you down? Are you ready to move on? Any time adversity opportunity rears its ugly head, it's human nature to "duck and cover" and wait out the storm. It’s been 5 years since the economy so drastically changed. Haven’t we all done enough waiting? It’s time to take charge and take action.

There are some bright spots on the horizon of the business world: The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that in 2011, the number of new business establishments increased by 29,316. They also report many areas of positive growth are expected in the next 7 years. In 2020, The BLS anticipates the following industries will experience at least a 2.9% annual job growth: community and vocational services; professional, scientific, and technical services; commercial and industrial machinery and equipment rental; and construction. And we will only go up from there! Various arms of the healthcare industry are expected to grow by 3.2% most likely driven by the longevity of our aging population. Home health care alone is projected to jump 6.1% annually. Technology and computer design and wood manufacturing both weigh in at 3.9% growth. And here’s the best news of all: management, scientific, and technical consulting are expected to grow at an annual rate of 4.7%. Everyone loves a consultant these days! The increasingly complex global economy has created the demand; exceptionally qualified and skilled professionals provide the supply.

This is direct proof that there is opportunity inside diversity. It’s up to skilled professionals to ask the right questions to uncover those hidden opportunities. Help yourself and those around you look for opportunity within adversity with these 4 powerful questions:

      1. Have new needs presented themselves to you in these adverse times? Are there underlying customer needs to be aware of since things have changed?

      2. What resources are being displaced because of the changes? These could be people, materials, products or services, intellectual property, or technology.

      3. Can you see a way to use resources from your answers to question 2 to fulfill a need you identified in question 1?

      4. Can you apply your success with questions 1, 2, and 3 in additional markets such as new customers or new products?    

Evaluating your answers to these 4 questions can help you and your community climb above the storm and see opportunity instead of only adversity.

Obstacles to Happiness

I was in the middle of writing about Neuroplasticity for this week's posting where I was referencing a discussion between His Holiness - the 14th Dalai Lama, and a group of world class neuroscientists in the 1980s. As part of that researching, I ended up listening to a few more of his other discourses that the Dalai Lama engages on a regular basis with psychologists, psychiatrists, and other scientists. The result is this article where I am attempting to summarize some of his teachings based on my understanding of how to overcome certain obstacles in our journey to happiness.

The main obstacle to happiness is that we fail to study the nature of the mind. The Dalai Lama simply describes wisdom, as an understanding of how the mind works. By becoming more familiar with our mind, we can remove the obstacles to happiness and live a joyful life.

However, it is impossible to know how the mind works without observing it. This practice is known as mindfulness meditation. Through practicing mindfulness – by being able to stay in the moment without judgment – the mind develops strength of attention and the power of focus. By reducing one’s mental hold on a constructed ideal and becoming curious rather than controlling, an individual actually has a chance to “awaken,” or become enlightened, in this lifetime. Just as an athlete’s physical regime allows for peak performance, our mind also can become more agile and stable by developing mental sharpness and intelligence through the focused practice of mindfulness mediation.

The Dalai Lama says that with such a healthy mental attitude, we can find balance within the elements of body and mind. When the basic mental attitude is healthy, the mind is less easily disturbed by outside circumstances. But, when it is weak, the mind will be easily disturbed and, the real question then is, how to build a healthy state of mind.

Sense the Possibility of Joyfulness

As we develop a great mental attitude, it becomes easy to see how swiftly thoughts come and go. One can also get motivated to stay in the here-and-now, rather than the before-and-after. However, it becomes clear over time that the only place to experience peace or happiness is in the present moment, and so, we wish to stay there to make that permanent. But, we soon, discover that it is not possible. The Dalai Lama suggests that we become wise, instead, in the knowledge that joy is experienced exclusively in the moment. In contrast, attachment and anger – the desire to overly control outcomes – are obstacles to happiness. Joyfulness, then, is nothing more than becoming aware of “the wonderful potential being wasted” and “sensing possibility.”

Live a Compassionate Life

Compassion leads to happiness. The way to nurture innate compassion is to develop an awareness of gradual, moment-by-moment change. This changing nature of reality is the truth of impermanence on which the Dalai Lama recommends we meditate. Compassion expressed in the presence of a calm mind opens the door to happiness.

“Compassion leads to a calm mind, while anger destroys a calm mind.” ~ His Holiness - the 14th Dalai Lama

I remember, the story that the Dalai Lama described about his own life experience to give us all hope for ours. Even though he was recognized at the age of 2 as a reincarnated Dalai Lama, he said, he was not really interested in study or practice until he was a teenager. Furthermore, it wasn’t until he was in his late 20s that he had “some experience of feeling the absence of independent existence.” Also, it took several more years of intense meditation and study, before these ideas became “close, intimate, and familiar” to the Dalai Lama.

Even though, each transformation is subjective, the Dalai Lama's life and his slow path to enlightenment should encourage the rest of us that anything can be overcome with practice.

“Something that seems impossible to achieve in 100 years can become very close to you with practice.” ~ His Holiness - the 14th Dalai Lama

Infinite altruism once seemed difficult and very far away, but based on the laws of cause-and-effect and the fact that life is “changing, changing, and changing... all the time," the Dalai Lama emphasizes that compassion for oneself and others actually creates happiness.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~ His Holiness - the 14th Dalai Lama

Confession:  Any omissions or inaccuracies are entirely my own, as per my understanding as of now.

Namaste!

Ethical Behavior Coupled with Integrity

Continuing on the topic of Integrity from last week, let us look at how ethical processes support a leader's integrity in driving the business success.

A recent study performed by the Institute of Business Ethics (IBE) found that companies displaying a ‘clear commitment to ethical conduct’ consistently outperform companies that do not display ethical conduct. The director of IBE, Philippa Foster Black stated, “Not only is ethical behavior in business the right thing to do in principle, it also pays off in financial returns.”

Part of your commitment as a business leader is to create and maintain the processes and a culture that dictates ethical behavior. Ethical behavior is not an easy path, nor is it a path taken without thought and consideration. As a leader, decision with value connections will be presented frequently. Examples could include employees stealing from the company, doing personal business on company time, modifying accounting records, or extending a customer discount that was not earned, etc.

Clearly defined organizational goals and clearly stated organizational values are integral to your ability to make the best decisions and take the right actions. As you deal with different types of situations you are being evaluated very closely by your team. As you lead by example, you become a champion for the organization’s commitment to ethical behavior. As you look to enhance the ethical policies and processes within your company, here are some principles to take into consideration:

·         Be trustful: Recognize that customers and employees want to do business with an organization they can trust. When trust is at the core of an organization, it is easy to recognize.

·         Meet obligations: Regardless of the circumstances, do everything in your power to keep commitments and obligations to employees and customers. An incredible amount of trust is built when an organization honors its commitments. If unforeseen events stand in the way of meeting an obligation, immediately communicate the challenges and work together to find resolution.

·         Reevaluate all documents and materials: Make sure all department and organizational documents and literature are clear and precise. Make sure they don’t misinterpret or misrepresent.

·         Have documented processes: Every organization is structured differently. However, having documented processes and policies on how your organization interacts with customers and employees is critical. If processes are properly documented there is no question what a product or service should be or whether a customer exception falls within the acceptable guidelines. Take a hands-on approach to all accounting and record keeping as it will allow you to end an inappropriate action in a timely fashion.

·         Be respectful: Treat employees and customers with respect regardless of differences, positions, titles, ages, or diversity. Always treat others with respect and courtesy even if you agree to disagree.

Successful implementation of these five principles becomes a leader’s daily commitment and responsibility.

Oprah Winfrey said it quite simply, “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to ever know whether you did it or not.”

Integrity Really Matters

When preparing future leaders to take on greater responsibility, organizations are looking for integrity and excellent communication skills.

In a recent study conducted by Robert Half Management Resources, it was concluded that beyond technical and functional expertise, the following traits were high on an organization’s list of leadership requirements. The survey included 1,400 CFO’s from a random sample of US companies with 20 or more employees.

• Integrity – 33%
• Interpersonal/Communication Skills – 28%
• Initiative – 15%
• Ability to Motivate Others – 12%
• Business Savvy – 10%

Pay attention to any form of business news and it will quickly confirm that integrity in business is becoming a lost art. Companies want quick fixes, fast money, and magic bullets. Companies are not spending the necessary time to create and maintain cultures of integrity, values, and processes, or making the right decisions for the right reasons. Lack of corporate integrity has been the documented cause of organizational demise, severe embarrassment, and financial loss many times within the last fifteen years.

The examples start with the avalanche of accounting scandals in 2001 and 2002, which included the Enron debacle and companies such as Tyco, Arthur Anderson, and Kmart. Forbes magazine created a Corporate Scandal Sheet listing just accounting imbroglios like the companies listed above. The list was published on August 26, 2002 and sadly is quite long. In the last few years, we have seen similar challenges in the financial and mortgage world with AIG, Goldman Sachs, Freddie, and Fannie.

Corporate integrity is not a choice, nor should it be implemented for shear convenience. Integrity is the concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness.

Fast Company conducted a study with the objective being to gather perceptions about specific characteristics of leaders. 95% of respondents said “yes” or “absolutely” when asked. Do the ethics of the CEO play a meaningful role in the way business gets done? Respondents go on to say “Good ethics is also good business. It builds the brand, draws customers, and saves money in the long run.” (Fast Track Leadership Survey August 2005)

Organizations must take the time to define their core values. Clearly defined core values create a sense of unity and help the company steer all of their resources in a focused and meaningful direction. It is the spirit that drives the company regardless of its industry or size and helps the organization make appropriate decisions in tough times. Core values provide answers to tough questions and act as a guiding light in situations of conflict. Leaders with integrity must have an unwavering commitment to the organization’s core values and they must be willing to defend them.

There are no quick fixes, or magic bullets. Money needs to be earned. Show your external and internal customers, as well as all of your stakeholders, that your organization stands for something and that it has self-imposed rules that guide all decisions.

Leading with integrity sends a powerful message to employees.

Your leadership by example is critical to creating an environment and culture of integrity throughout the entire organization.

Integrity really does matter!

Empowering the Human Potential

Here are 4 reasons why human potential should infect your organization and how to make it happen.

Human beings ALWAYS have purpose – It is in our nature to want to make a positive contribution to something bigger than ourselves. We want what we do to matter in some way that is meaningful to us. We MUST have purpose, or we begin looking for it somewhere else. Instead of trying to train the humanity out of those in your organization, let their humanity infect your organization. Imagine that - Human beings interacting with other human beings to meet the needs of a lot of human beings. The atmosphere of your organization doesn’t need to be much more complicated than that.

• Human potential doesn’t recognize limits – When human beings get to operate in their “zone”, they are completely unstoppable. Everything becomes a possibility. No one can demand that kind of dedication and focus, no matter how well written the job description is. Ask those human beings you are leading what would excite them about doing their job. Then… shut up and just listen. Seriously consider whatever they say. You may be surprised by the creativity you discover.

• The pursuit of human potential is contagious – You don’t have to get everyone on board to make this work! Find some influential human beings in your organization and let them loose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There have to be some form of boundaries, but don’t get so hung up on them. Let them be guard rails so they can take a curve a bit faster than normal without the fear of going over the edge. Once others see the freedom and gratification that comes with it, as well as the support from leadership, they’ll come around soon enough.

• Human potential frees up leadership – So often leaders read about how they should be interacting with others. YOU are a human being too. How would you like to have the freedom to explore and hunt down your potential? Not to tame or subdue it, but interact with it and learn to run wild with it. The best part about being a leader is you get to lead by example. Be an example of human potential gone wild. Infect your organization with your human potential.

• Every human being on this planet has something amazing to bring to the world. We also have some very ugly things to bring to the world as well. Great leadership recognizes that amazing bit of human potential and helps clear a space for it to thrive and choke out the ugly bits. That’s your responsibility to the human beings in your organization. I don’t think I need to point out the profit that can come from this… you already get that.

Celebrate and empower human potential. Run wild. Be profitable.

I would love to hear your comments on this… human to human.

How Do You Unlock the Barriers to Your Potential?

Scientific experiments reveal that we use only 10% of our brain capacity. Scientists also tell us that humanity is only using 10% of its DNA. Psychologists tell us that we are only 10% conscious. Most people are not aware of the other 90% of their thoughts. They are buried in our subconscious yet they affect everything about us. We are said to be unconscious. The body only uses about 10% of the available oxygen it takes in and most people only breathe at 10% of their capacity. Is this just a play on numbers and a coincidence or does this pattern have meaning for you and me?

I don’t know much about coincidences. But, it seems that most of humanity is living within a prescribed range of what is viewed normal. Since very few have had experiences outside the range of normal, the collective view is that such things are wishful thinking. But I don’t believe that. It does not have to be this way. Right now you can change the way things are and tap into your human potential.

Let’s say that you want to be smarter tomorrow, that you want to double the capacity of your brain power. In fact, let’s say that upon waking up tomorrow we will use 20% of our brain instead of the normal 10%. Ready! Set! Go!

So, Where Do We Begin?

Go where?

Do What?

How?

That’s exactly the point.

Where do we begin? 

How do we tap into this potential? 

We cannot simply increase our brain capacity, activate more DNA or become more conscious by turning on a switch. There is no such switch nor should there be since these are effects not causes. But the causal point of our suppressed potential can be accessed through our breath capacity. Even our breath capacity is only at 10% because of energies that lie within our system that contract and restrict the diaphragm. Within the diaphragm lies our potential. Every limiting belief, negative thought form, negative program is reflected in these restrictions. The key is finding the key that unlocks the diaphragm and allows you to access your potential.

At some time in your life you unconsciously decided to block out the truth of who you are and temporarily decided to believe in lack and limitation. You took on a role to be less than you are. This is the path of the human condition. Everyone must pass this way. But we don’t have to stay stuck here. We just have to remember.

Is it a Choice? 

What is keeping you where you are is a choice. It is a choice to hold onto the story of who you think you are. So many who come to us are stuck here and are suffering through sadness and grief, anger and fear. They know not what to do. With love in our hearts, we tell you it is safe to let go of that story. Your story is just an energy configuration that remains locked within your subtle bodies. When we free up that energy, we can use it to create a new story, a new world view.

For you to have a new world view, you must first acknowledge it is possible. You must go against the flow of the collective consciousness of humanity and invite into your consciousness that a new possibility is possible. When you have done this, you have taken a giant leap forward. But there is more.

This simple step applied consistently will help you manifest more of the following:

• Your level of consciousness will increase. As you become more aware of your creations you will become a more powerful conscious creator. You will have the ability to create a new story.

• Your breathing will open up delivering more oxygen to the body. As a result your energy level will improve, immune functioning will be enhanced and you will sleep better at night. Things will happen with less effort as you begin to flow with life rather than resist it.

• Brain functioning will increase as more oxygen is delivered to the brain and your mind becomes less cluttered by unconscious thoughts. Mental clarity is enhanced.

• More DNA will be accessible. The solar plexus is the seat of the emotional body. The energies that suppress our breath capacity are emotional in origin. As we free these energies, this new energy will rise up and into the heart chakra activating more love in our hearts. It is this newly found love energy that has the power to activate the unused coding within our DNA.

Conscious breathing is the key to unlock your potential. When you open your breath, everything changes. Anytime you change the way you think or the way you look at things, every time you heal, your breath pattern has to change. If it doesn’t change, the change/healing will not be maintained. The breath must change for the energy to change. All of this happens unconsciously. No matter what you do or how you do it, why not bring the conscious awareness of the breath to it. It will help make everything you do manifest more quickly and easily. It is the key to unlocking your potential and stepping beyond the barrier of the 10%.