Dangers in using Fear to Motivate People

When you present a “burning platform” story to spur your people into action, there are inherent risks. People may jump into action, but will it be the right action? Will it be purposeful?

Most of the big problems we encounter in businesses and/or society are ambiguous and evolving. They don’t look like burning-platform situations. Yet, we still want people to buckle down and execute a hard, well-defined game plan.

Yoda was right. Fear creates anxiety and anger. And this leads to frenetic activity that is more distracting than useful.

When people are driven to act by fear rather than desire – the action isn’t motivated by any personal determination to move in a direction to win. It’s not action designed to create real results for long term success. It’s simply action, frenetic action, designed to diminish the fear and anxiety.

There is no question that negative emotions are motivating. But they are also constricting. They narrow our focus. Fear will get us to take fast specific action designed to reduce the feelings of fear and anxiety.

Negative emotions will help us avoid risks and confront problems. But the quest to take your business to the next level, that is, to execute a brilliant strategy, design quality customer experiences, and to improve team performance and the bottom line… well, that requires more than avoiding risks and problem solving.

These situations require creativity and flexibility and ingenuity. A burning platform won’t get you there. Negative emotions have a narrowing effect on our thoughts. We become focused on getting the stone out of our shoe, so to speak.

Positive feelings, on the other hand, broaden and build our repertoire of responses to a situation. Joy, for example, makes us want to play with new ideas and possibilities. We want to explore new ways of doing things, experiment and explore. In this way, we require positive emotions to fuel our creativity and curiosity.

What are you doing in your life/business to use positive emotions to inspire change?

The next time someone suggests lighting a fire under your people’s feet, consider these differences. Fear and negativity will, indeed, spark people into action. But only for specific action, and not necessarily purposefully directed.

An atmosphere of positivity, on the other hand, will give people the enthusiasm to create new solutions to broaden and build resources for innovation.

To solve bigger more ambiguous problems, those we are currently facing every day, we need to encourage open minds, creativity and hope.

Effective Executive and the Listening Skills

Peter Drucker is a highly regarded consultant and prolific writer in the sphere of management and leadership. His classic 1966 work, The Effective Executive, emphasizes the importance of focusing the executive's work load to avoid "wasting time" on non-essential matters.

Drucker's basic model for an effective executive can be summarized as follows:

• one, executives must carefully choose how to spend, and not to spend, their time;
• two, executives must consciously choose what they want to contribute to the organization and ask their subordinates to make such a choice also;
• three, executives must choose people to perform tasks based on their individual strengths and the fit between strengths and tasks - people should not be chosen for whether or not they lack weaknesses; 
• four, executives must deliberately choose long-term business priorities; and 
• five, executives must choose from among all of the alternative opinions offered within their organization.

Drucker's five-part effectiveness model depends heavily on listening ability, particularly steps one, two, and five.


Drucker's step one, choosing how to spend and not to spend time, requires aggressive delegation in order to avoid spending time on peripheral matters. Although he doesn't say it in as many words, it's implicit that his vision of delegation relies on a coaching management style - essentially, periodic listening as subordinates describe their planning and progress - because a direct-control style of management would negate the executive's decision not to spend time on delegated projects.

In step two of Drucker's model, executives ask both themselves and their subordinates what they contribute now to the organization and what they could contribute in the future. According to him, regardless of whether an individual's view of what they now contribute, or could contribute, matches their manager's view, bringing out and stressing the importance of everyone's role as a contributor is essential to the organization's overall effectiveness. (The same general principle is embodied by Covey's and Goleman’s emphasis on self-awareness, as in listening to one's self, and being aware of others, as in listening to subordinates.)

In step five, Drucker emphasizes the importance to the executive of actively seeking competing opinions and inquiring about the basis for those opinions before choosing a course of action, rather than acting on the basis of pre-arranged or tacit consensus. Of necessity, this requires consistently listening with genuine curiosity in order to encourage development of diverse opinions and supporting rationales, rather than simply setting forth proposals and working to build consensus around them.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you follow Drucker’s model in your business?

Positive Influence by Effective Listening

Positive influence happens in a variety of forms between managers and those they supervise. It surprises many managers to learn that one of the most significant ways to influence others in a positive way is by effectively listening to them.

"I was astonished! All I had to do was listen, and this employee of mine worked through his own problem without me giving a bit of advice." Newly aware of his own listening patterns, this manager whom I was coaching for some time stopped himself from jumping in with solutions when an employee began sharing a problem. Instead, he listened quietly and occasionally summarized what was being told. The employee came to his own conclusions right in front of him. The manager realized how much he had been interfering, by being too quick to give advice, with his staff’s ability to build confidence. He was amazed that most people just want him to listen to them.

Most Important Attribute

Listening to the individual is the most important attribute of an effective manager. Managers who listen, earn employee’s respect and loyalty. They discover important things about how the business is going. One company hired an expensive management consultant to find out why workers had low morale. The consultant began searching for the cause of dissatisfaction using a method the company's managers could have used themselves. He directly asked the workers why they were unhappy - and listened to their answers.

Employees frequently have excellent ideas about improving productivity of the work environment. Managers who listen for these ideas solve more problems than those who do not. These managers create a sense of concern for their staff while receiving better-quality information.

Dave, the foreman of a large manufacturing plant called Jorge, a supervisor of a production line, into his office to explain plans for a new way to assemble machinery. Dave described how he thought the procedure should be changed. Jorge's only response was silence and a frown. Dave realized something was wrong and sensed Jorge might have something to say because of his non-verbal communication. So Dave said, "Jorge, you've been in the department longer than me. What's your reaction to my suggestion? I'm listening." Jorge paused, and then began to speak. He realized his manager had opened the door to communication and felt comfortable offering suggestions from his years of experience. As the two employees exchanged ideas, a mutual respect and trust developed, along with a solution to the technical problems. While listening, the manager remained in complete control of the situation. He was an active, not passive, listener.

Why People Are Poor Listeners

When we think about listening, we tend to assume it is basically the same as hearing; this is a dangerous misconception because it leads us to believe effective listening is instinctive. As a result, we make little effort to learn, or develop listening skills, and unknowingly neglect a vital communication function. Consequently, we create unnecessary problems for ourselves and others: misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and confused instructions, loss of important information, embarrassment, frustration, and lost opportunities.

Listening involves a more sophisticated mental process than hearing. It demands energy and discipline. Listening is most often a learned skill. The first step is to realize that effective listening is an active, not a passive process. A skilled listener doesn’t just sit there and allow listening to happen haphazardly.

The belief that the power of the talker plays a major role in communication is why many managers are poor listeners. In our society talking is viewed as more important, with listening categorized as only a supportive function.

Levels of Listening Model

Listening can be seen as a model that has three levels. They are distinct categories into which people fall; they may overlap or interchange depending on what is happening. As managers move from level 3 to level 1, their potential for understanding, retaining what is being said, awareness, responsiveness, creativity, and effective communication increases. All managers listen at different levels of efficiency throughout the day, as their listening habits, their attitude toward listening, their mental alertness, and physical health change.

Level 1
At this level there is conscious attention, understanding, awareness of the moment, respect and a spirit of cooperation. This means managers will see things from the other person's point of view, be empathetic to the person’s feelings, and thus avoid internal distractions that interfere with effective listening. They pay attention to the talker's total communication by listening to content and the intent of what is being said; such as, tone of voice, inflections, volume. A critical ingredient of this level is the managers' attitude of mutual respect which helps suspend negative personal labels and is non-intimidating. This positive mindset promotes a communication process of inquiry and informing rather than an advocating position of "know–it–all." Summarizing and paraphrasing techniques will be applied to clarify meaning and understanding.

Managers at this level handle difficult situations more effectively because they know the importance of dealing with others from a non-blaming attitude. Usually stress at this level provides motivation, improves performance and excitement, increases focused energy, and fosters mental alertness.

This mental alertness often results in improved decision making, creativity, and memory. There is a greater ability to explore alternatives and choose the best one. Managers at level 1 avoid becoming preoccupied with their own internal dialogue that can inhibit effective listening. They also are aware that conversation requires a substantial amount of conscious processing because it involves novelty. We are not sure what the other is going to say, and we try to formulate unique responses appropriate to the discussion.  This lessens the ability to listen effectively.

Level 2
This level of listening is characterized as containing partial awareness, being in and out of consciousness, listening to words but not fully understanding the meaning of the message. Managers at this level don't realize information is being missed. This results in making little effort to understand the talker's intent or to clarify for understanding.

Each person has their own meanings for words because they filter them through their varied beliefs, knowledge, cultural upbringing, education, and experience. As a result no two people have exactly the same meaning for the same word or expression; meanings are not in words, meanings are in people.

Much is being communicated interpersonally that isn't verbalized. Research shows that there are three factors that impact on the outcome of effective communication: words (verbal), vocal (tone of voice), and body language which include, facial expression, body posture, gestures and eye contact. The relative impact is: words 7%, tone of voice 38% and body language 55%. When managers are experiencing level 2 listening, they are mainly focusing on the words. Much of what is not being communicated non-verbally is being missed.

Level 3
This level has dangerous consequences. It’s an automatic “tuned-out” mode. Internal distractions include daydreaming, thinking about something else, self - dialogue, finding fault, and negative feelings. Not much of what is said will be remembered. Managers will experience concentration problems resulting in difficulty in making appropriate decisions.

A major factor that contributes to level 3 is a blaming attitude that perpetuates negative feelings of frustration, anger, worry, impatience, and loss of humor. These factors cause stress which then reduces alertness and creativity. Fatigue is often part of this level: a feeling of not being up to par, loss of initiative, increased indifference. Managers can become complacent about getting the job done.

The following example illustrates the three levels. A manager named David met with one of his key employees. "Carol,” he said, "I have the feeling there's something that disturbs you about our professional relationship." Carol took this encouragement as an opportunity to explain that she felt he made some very degrading comments to her a week ago. Instead of reacting defensively, Dave listened to Carol's whole explanation and acknowledged her feelings. "I appreciate you telling me," he said. "I can see how you thought my comments were a putdown." "Yes", Carol remarked, "I was upset about it." David listened to that, too, and expressed concern that Carol was upset, adding, "I didn't intend it as a putdown."

This listening encounter proved a success because David stayed in level 1 throughout the conversation. By doing so, he influenced Carol in a positive way that encouraged Carol to feel comfortable talking about her negative feelings. David's level 1 behavior impacted Carol in such a way that she could respond to him at level 1. A few days later, Carol was heard mentioning her rapport with David as an example of a good working relationship.

Imagine what might have happened if David had reacted defensively at level 3 after inviting Carol to discuss what was bothering her! Often, when managers offer someone the opportunity to express his or her feelings about their behavior, they feel attacked and find it difficult to handle the feedback as David did. Usually managers take what is being said personally, become defensive or even verbally attack the person.

If David had responded at level 3 in a defensive manner to Carol's expressed negative feelings, the conversation more than likely would have ended with no resolution and increased alienation. Defensive listening is a major barrier to effective communication and problem solving because it perpetuates resistance, hostility, and an argumentative atmosphere.

Listening to others gives managers the information needed. Listening to themselves gives them the information to act in their own best interests. As managers achieve self-awareness, they are more able to choose their response rather than react automatically. They would then respond to what is real, rather than to emotions or misconceptions.

Information is power. Effective listeners are able to concentrate and find the most valid information in whatever they listen to. Effective listeners are powerful people that have positive influence on others.

Are you an Empathic Listener?

In a TV interview sometime ago, Stephen Covey described his The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People as guiding principles that "…encourage people to take a mindful approach to life - not letting trivial urgencies of day-to-day life get in the way of the most important things."

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is indeed a seven-part model for effective performance in business and personal life. Its philosophy is that human beings can take control of their own destinies by how they react to life and external factors, and that they will achieve happiness, success and spiritual fulfillment if they adopt the seven habits Covey advocates.

In this article, I am only going to focus on the listening habits. Covey says that "most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand." Because we are so eager to get our own point of view across, we tend not to listen properly to what the other person is saying. If we can first understand what the speaker's point of view is, it will be easier for us to respond in a positive and mutually beneficial way.

Covey recommends taking the time to listen to yourself (habits 1-3) in order to identify your own core values and goals. This step makes it possible for you to behave exactly as you believe the person you wish to be would behave, because it allows you to consult your own values and goals before acting. Thus, you act only in ways that are consistent with those values and goals. This step should be repeated regularly as time passes and circumstances change.

Covey then recommends listening to others (habits 4-6) in order to become aware of the values and goals of others. This enables you to find common ground and thus maintain productive relationships with them.

Covey also recommends regularly seeking to improve (habit 7) and reinforce yourself in ways that are important to you.

According to Covey, when we are speaking to anyone we are usually in one of the five “Listening States” -

1.           Ignoring: – Not Listening

2.           Pretend Listening: – We have all done this, saying “yeah”, “uh-huh”

3.           Selective Listening: – Listening strictly to parts of the conversations and strictly from our point of view.

4.           Attentive Listening: – Focusing and paying attention to the words

5.           Empathetic Listening: – Listening from the other persons point of view, and seeing the world from the others persons perspective.

Most people think that Empathic Listening takes too much time; I have found that with time it becomes natural and you start to automatically do it. It all begins with practice and the dividends you will receive for this are enormous.

Empathic Listening is essential to effective communication. Covey emphasizes the importance, the power, and in some situations the necessity of not merely going through the mechanical responses that might be required for ordinary listening, but opening oneself to the talker to the point where one can actually feel what they are feeling. Covey, as others, believes that the only way to establish communication in some professional and personal situations is by becoming, in small part, the person you are listening to. He uses the words "sensing" (others call it "intuition") to describe the information a listener can perceive through deep, empathic listening. The experience Covey describes, standing for a moment in another's shoes and listening to the world through their ears is something everyone is capable of, but most of us rarely (if ever) deliberately do. It takes time to listen empathically and practice to become adept at it, but the reward is a whole new level of communication and problem solving because a person acquires the ability to see a situation simultaneously from multiple points of view.

Most people take the advice to “Listen” literally and are confused when the conversation dies or does not go anywhere. This is because “Listening” is a means to an end, not an end. Listening allows you to absorb information about the following:

a.           What is important to the other person and

b.           What the other person wants to talk about

At the end of the day, remember – listening is one of the most important parts of possessing excellent Social Skills. However, it is a means to an end and the end is to find out what the other person wants to talk about and what is important to the other person. Listen > Find out what these things are > Let them talk about it > Put yourself in their shoes (Empathic Listening) and talk about what you would do or answer the question from your own point of view (Selective Listening) and create a meaningful conversation.

Listening is essential to effectiveness as a speaker. Covey also points out that to be an effective speaker one has to absorb feedback from (listen to) one's audience and adjust one's presentations according to what works most effectively for them.

So, next time, when you are engaging in a conversation, practice empathetic listening; it will get you far in life.

How To Stay The Course In The Face Of Any Difficult

When I imagine what it looks like to live a balanced life, two thoughts come to mind. The first is the "Jack theory": All work and no play makes for a cranky Jack. All this and no that - too much of this and too little of that - just doesn't work. The challenge here is to balance what we must do with what we enjoy and want to do. We need to carve out time for the serious stuff, as well as play.

The other way to live a balanced life has more to do with going with the flow - not letting the inevitable glitch in our day throw us off-balance, sending us careening off course. It's about staying balanced. In other words, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. No matter how carefully a project is planned, something may still "go wrong" with it. When lucky, we experience a minor glitch - a glitch so small and short-lived that you hardly notice it, a transient fault that corrects itself. However, there are the times when a hornet's nest of difficulties presents itself, and you need to change course immediately, lest you get knocked on your bottom!

Here are some guidelines on how you can "root" yourself in balance, enabling you to smile and stay the course, even in the face of the inevitable hiccup, glitch or major league malfunction.

Some Tips for Living a Well-Balanced Life

1.    Wake Up Happy. Your first thoughts are the most powerful and the strongest. They can set a tone for the day. You can easily train yourself to begin each and every day with a positive thought. Begin to pay attention to your waking thoughts. If they are not "happy" or useful thoughts, change them. In the place between being asleep and fully awake, note your thoughts and change them if you have to. If your thoughts are positive and useful, embrace them: "Today, I am going to get organized and 'motor' through the day with great, happy energy" versus, "OMG! It’s Monday. Another day, another dollar." Get my drift?

2.    Take Care Of You. I promise you that your health is the key ingredient to all! They don't say "If you've got your health, you've got everything" for nothing! It's the truth. You simply cannot function in high gear if you don't get the right amount of rest, exercise or good, healthy eats (e.g. real food, not processed stuff). At some point, "it" will catch up with you.

3.    Plan Pretty. No, planning is not a dirty word, although you might think it is, based on the response I sometimes get when I stress the importance of planning. Do not stamp your feet like a three-year-old and say, "I don't like to plan." Keeping an organized calendar and planner tracking your appointments, your food and your workouts (i.e. movement, for the exercise phobic) leads to freedom. When you plan, you essentially dump your thoughts onto the page and organize them so they do not overwhelm you, which lead to a productive, relaxed kind of day. Instead of cringing at the thought of "planning," embrace it. Once again, planning presents a clear path out of an overwhelming situation and leads you toward the happy state of freedom.

4.    Set Priorities. Leading your "best life" does not mean that you need to be, or should try to be, perfect and do it all. It means that you self-reflect, known yourself and determine your true values. Not knowing who you are and what you want and trying to do everything is a recipe for burnout and disaster. Do not bite off more than you can chew!

5.    Stay Connected With Family And Friends. Another key ingredient to living a balanced life and staying "in balance" is your connection to your friends and family. However busy you may be, be sure to reach out to at least one friend or family member daily. Preferably, you would do this in real time, either in person or via telephone - not electronically! There's nothing like the real thing.

6.    Be Spontaneous. On the one hand, I do believe that planning equals freedom, as mentioned above. On the other hand, let's not get so rigid that we lose the ability to be spontaneous. If you suddenly have the urge to go for a long walk, go to a movie, hook up with a friend at lunchtime or feed the hummingbirds, then do so!

7.    Take Control Of Your Mind. Often we overwhelm ourselves with the silent words that flow through our mind every moment of the day. When you speak about being overwhelmed your thoughts and then your behaviors will follow. Guard your thoughts or else your life and your actions flow out of them. Create thoughts that banish the feeling of being overwhelmed.

8.    Stuff Happens; Expect The Unexpected. Have you ever had a day when something unexpected didn't happen? An unexpected phone call, unexpected traffic jam, a platter of pretty cupcakes being paraded in front of you or, maybe worse yet, a computer crash? Stuff happens, my friends. Stuff happens, big time! So expect the unexpected and just roll with it.

9.    Breathe Deep And Unwind. At the end of your glorious day, take a minute, or two, or 30 to unwind. Curl up with a good book, take a hot bath and listen to music that soothes or stirs your soul. Do nothing. Take in a few deep, cleansing breaths, congratulate yourself on a day well-lived and just plain relax.

What is the most important thing that you do to help you stay balanced, enabling you to go with the flow? 

Keeping Overwhelmed feelings in Check

First of all, we can be overwhelmed with our business, our to-do lists, our email, our prospecting and follow up - so much so that none of it gets done, right? Ever been there?

So stuck on what to do that you can’t do anything productive at all?

Well, when (or if) that happens to you, I hope you stop to think first:
“What is the big goal that I am trying to achieve? What are the most productive things I can do to get me there?”

Then of course you want to prioritize those things and hold yourself accountable (or get someone else to) and get to work. Easier said than done, huh?

There is stress - and then there is overwhelm. One feeds the other.

Life has a way of sneaking up, heaping things on your plate and leaving us feeling overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed can leave us completely unproductive and at a loss of knowing what to do next. Especially when life throws you a curveball with issues in your business contract/clients, relationship, a death or sickness in the family, a child moving out to college or some other life-changing or tragic occurrence.

How are you supposed to focus then? How are you supposed to get things done then? How do you overcome those setbacks in life and get back to living the life you desire? Well, I may not be a psychotherapist or anything along those lines but what I do know is that it revolves around how you let yourself BE, feel and adapt to what’s going on that will make or break your results, your transformation or your lessons learned from that particular situation.

You can cuddle up on your sofa with a good chic-flick and wallow in your sadness for a day or two. Or, you can stand strong and tall and get back up on that horse so to speak; surrounding yourself with those who care about you, those who will pull you up and inspire you to perform your greatness.

How this relates to your business as an entrepreneur/executive is so obvious to me but might not be to you; let me explain…

In your business, you will have ups and downs. You will have successes and failures. You will have big boosts of revenue and big valleys of nothing at some point. It’s your big picture vision, your belief in yourself and what you are meant to do here on our planet and your stick-to-it determination to keep going, stepping up and stepping out regardless of what is going on in your life that will ensure your ultimate success and happiness.

So, how do you break the cycle? Here are some things you try to do to overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed:

1.  Put it in perspective. Yes, times are tough. In fact, they're pretty horrible. But where do you stand, in the grand scheme of things? Take a hard look at what's going on around you. Look for the bright side - there always is one, somewhere - and hold on to it like a lifeline.

2.  Look to the past. Have you been in this situation before? Has anyone you know been in it? It took me a while, but then I remembered what my own parents went through, when we were in the middle of bad economic times and they were struggling with day jobs and putting six kids thru school/college. How did they handle it? I'll have to ask them, but the bottom line is that they got through it. Which means that now, 30 years later, I will, too.

3.  Evaluate your responsibilities. Each person has many areas of life that they are responsible for. What are the things you must do each day to meet your obligations? List your responsibilities and determine what's important to you.

4.  Have a plan. How often do you chart out the steps you must take each day? Each hour? Make a plan and let it be your guide to keep you on course.

5.  Take baby steps. Pick one thing - one small thing - and do it. Then another. Divide your day into hours, and if you're still feeling overwhelmed, get through the day in five-minute chunks, if need be. The time will pass whether you're constructive or not... might as well be constructive. Work in increments. Working in blocks of time designated to specific time allotments will make you more productive. Block off the time you need to be working on a certain aspect of your project and stick to that time frame.

6.  Take breaks. Working without taking a break decreases your productivity and creativity. Realize that you will become a more efficient worker as you take the breaks that your body was designed to need. Be gentle with yourself. Being angry with yourself doesn't make things better, and there's no need to add guilt to the mix. Cut yourself some slack, take a short break, and give yourself a treat.

7.  Take control of your mind. Often we overwhelm ourselves with the silent words that flow through our mind every moment of the day. When you speak about being overwhelmed your thoughts and then your behaviors will follow. Guard your thoughts for out of them flow your actions and your life. Create thoughts that banish the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Holding feeling and thoughts inside won’t work, especially for women. You know the secret to success? It’s your own ability to BE who you are and express what you feel. If we all did that this world would be such a better, more loving place.

For more information on how to jump start your small business (and your LIFE) with creative strategy and business building ideas and a clear plan to reach your unique target market find out how to talk with me in a complimentary Strategy Session, go fill out the questionnaire at eMBCinc.com.

Let’s plot out YOUR Big Picture Vision and Strategy now before it’s too late!

PS: If you are spiritually inclined, please read the extended article on my spiritual blog at www.PersonalDevelopmentRiches.com

Namaste!

2 Parts of 7

“The plane leaves on Monday. It’s only Friday. So why are you already packing?” That was a question my son used to ask me whenever I prepared for my business travel (2 or 3 years ago before I stopped doing that). I’d respond by telling him that I started packing early so that if I remembered something later on, I could always pack it. Being somebody who usually packed his backpack to school while the school bus is honking from the street, he probably thinks that was the most ridiculous idea.

But, then I was amazed last week when he made a startling statement that I remember it even today. I was helping him with his math homework, and we were sitting on the floor with his advanced algebra book sprawled out in front of us. We were working on an odd-numbered problem and the answer was a fraction — 2/7ths. My son exclaimed, “Oh! The weekend syndrome!” I asked, “What?” He said, “You know, as you always say; how 2 parts of 7, defines who we are, the teenagers!”

Let me explain... As humans, we usually have to have something to look forward to in order to get us through the days, and more often than not, that something we look forward to is usually the weekend. We push ourselves through the week to get to the weekend. We push ourselves to the point where we have become 2/7ths people, only really living 2 days out of the 7 in a week.

Sure, blood is moving through our veins and yeah, oxygen is flowing through our lungs in those 5 weekdays as it is on those 2 weekend days, but it is not the same. We are not the same. In those five days, are we really living or are we living on auto-pilot?

Things can be different, though. We can look forward to those 5 weekdays just like we do the weekend, and thereby become 7/7ths people. And thereby become whole. Daily life can be a lot more interesting and meaningful if we take risks, shed our fear of failure, chase our dreams, and spend more time with one another. If we just do that, we will find ourselves becoming more invested in the Here and Now instead of looking at the clock and counting down time.

One way we can move closer to becoming 7/7th people is by taking risks in our daily lives, whether big or small, personal or professional. So take a risk. Say hi to that person in the hallway instead of making brief eye contact then choosing to glance away until you pass each other. We have all done it. In the moment, you are thinking: “Will he say hi?” — “Should I initiate?” — “Will it be awkward if I don’t?” Just say it. Human beings are creatures of emotion, attachment, and attention and you hold the power to make someone’s day. And if worse comes to worst, remember that awkward is nothing but a state of mind.

Take a risk. Next time you are sitting in a meeting and something doesn’t make sense, ask a question. Who cares if people think it’s dumb? Who really cares? Because in a few weeks or even in a few moments, they will forget and you will have learned the material. More importantly, the best way to move ahead is to focus on asking the questions along the way. It sometimes amounts to placing more importance on the question than the answer. Something as simple as asking yourself what you are really looking for is often missed, but it becomes evident how important it is when you realize that once you have a very clear idea about what question is, the answer is often just sitting there waiting for you.

Becoming 7/7ths is not only about taking risks, but also about confronting the natural human fear of failure. The world has spoken and has decided to mark failure as something only associated with the lowest of the low in society, the rejects, and the losers.

But when we see successful people in life, we see what’s close to a finished product. We don’t see the process, we don’t see the countless shots the stud basketball player missed or the numerous soufflés the chef messed up before getting it just right.

Really, when you think about it, failure in life is inevitable. It is going to happen unless of course you live your life so carefully that you very well may have never lived at all. And if that is the case, then you have already failed.

Failure will teach you things that you can learn no place else. You may find that you have a great work ethic, a strong will, an extra gear, and a network of friends who love you. Really, how else will you know yourself or the strength of your friendships until both have been tested by adversity? That is why we cannot fear failure. We must risk failure in order to live. And it is in these moments of risk that the greatest memories are made, that life takes on a greater meaning. If you take a moment to think about your own defining memories, I bet more than a few of them would be about how you conquered your fears or did something daring and courageous together with your best friends. We hold the power to make more of those memories.

We also hold the power to turn our dreams into reality, which is another part of achieving 7/7ths. Some of us may know what we want to do in life, and even those people may find a new inspiration along the way. But, for the many of us still trying to figure out what we want to do, just give it time, and you’ll find your dream or maybe it’ll find you. And when you find that dream, you gotta get after it, protect it, and dare to be idealistic. Just like with failure, though, society has turned us against that word — idealism. But make no mistake about it; we desperately need more idealistic thinkers in the world today. At the heart of every great goal is idealism, and at the heart of every leader, every risk taker, every go-getter, is the ability to change our definition of what idealistic is.

Moreover, your dreams and goals take on a whole new meaning if you have someone to share them with, which brings me to my next point: being 7/7ths is about being together. The purpose of life is to live a fulfilling one and to spend time with loved ones. Because in life, what we are about is being in the moment and making the moments count. And we make the moments count by enjoying one another’s company, by sharing our stories, laughs, goals, aspirations, and memories with one another. In the end, life is about the big and small things. My hope is that we become 7/7th people.

Are you going to take that one small step now?

To many, success seems to come suddenly. When you observe others and what they have achieved you usually don’t appreciate what it has taken for them to get where they are. Ultimately, in failing to do this you also fail to learn what it would take for you to attain the same level of achievement and success.

But, if you take the time to truly think about it, you will find that success is usually only a small step away. Yet despite that it eludes most people. It is always so near and yet so far.

The journey of a thousand miles...
takes small steps to success all along that hike. Together, they add up to hundreds of thousands of small steps. But we might have chosen not to take the first step. We might have stopped at any point along the way. That would have meant that we would not have gotten to our destination.


There are also obstacles along the way. But with each small step they are overcome.


There are frustrations, fears and uncertainties. But with each small step they are crushed.


There is hardship and danger, but with each small step and focus on the desired destination it is conquered. Success is no mystery.


It takes only one small step to succeed.


So, have you taken that one step today?