Positive Thinking – Your Secret Weapon

Learning, growing, and changing is possible with the right attitude and focus. All individuals have the ability to master their individual talents and be the best they can be! There are people who scoff at this philosophy and espouse limiting beliefs. However, that is the fundamental difference between positive thinking and foolish thinking. We all have the innate ability to be the best of who we were meant to be.

Based on a 2007-2008 NBA survey, the average height of a player is 6’6”. It would be fairly inconceivable for a person with the height of 5’4” to make the NBA a long-term career choice. It is certainly a goal that can be aspired to however, physical limitations could present ongoing challenges. Is it foolish thinking for an individual of 5’4” to want to be an NBA star? Retired player, Tyrone “Muggsy” Bogues (Hornets, Bullets, Warriors, and Raptors) who is 5’3” and Wizard’s point guard Earl Boykins who is 5’5” would probably disagree.

Many great people have overcome adversity and challenge to accomplish great things. Ronald Reagan spent his early life admittedly being an introvert, but during his Presidency he was called “the great communicator.” Marie Curie, was the first person to win two Nobel prizes, the first woman to receive a doctorate in France, the mother of two daughters (one of whom also won a Nobel prize), and a tireless humanitarian; suffered through times of extreme financial and personal hardship, Curie is an amazing example of a person with perseverance, breaking boundaries imposed by others. John Lennon, the revolutionary pop music icon overcame adversity of many types along his journey; a turbulent childhood in which his mother and father each abandoned him in different ways; courageously overcame drug addiction and repaired his marriage with his wife Yoko; and he was tragically gunned down in the prime of his life by a crazed fan. Pablo Picasso overcame great poverty to become a renowned artist.

We are not born great at anything. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “All great speakers were bad speakers at first.” No leader, manager, artist, business owner, or musician started out great. However, the difference between average and great is the desire to develop and succeed, a commitment to do so, as well as a positive attitude and the belief that you will make it happen.

What do you desire to accomplish? What do you want to be known for or what will be your legacy? Define what you want to accomplish, achieve, do, and be. Be careful not to let your practical mind limit your dreams and ideas. Grant yourself permission to think big and out of the box. Make the commitment to define who you are supposed to be. Learning, growing, and changing takes work but the effort is worth the results.

The second step is making the commitment to pursue your dreams and take action. Establish and define a plan. Determine the destination and create a map to get there. Sometimes the steps necessary will be small, and sometimes you may have to take a leap of faith but trust your vision. Your contributions will make a difference to many, so failure should not be an option.

Finally, remember that positive thinking will get it done. That is not to say you will not face obstacles and adversity as success does not come easy. It has been my experience that nothing of significant value ever comes easy or free. However, your focus and your attitude will give you what is necessary to create the right solutions and the next best steps. You can’t control what happens around you but you can certainly control how you react. Your attitude and positive mindset are your secret weapons to success as you define it. Don’t let anyone or any circumstance take away your secret weapon as it is far too important to your contributions.

The Power of Thoughts, Words and Actions

We acquire knowledge, but we lack awareness. Awareness arises when knowledge accompanies action. Mere acquisition of knowledge does not mean that such knowledge will translate into action.

For instance, most of us know that if you smoke cigarettes, you are susceptible to cancer. Cigarette smokers see the statutory warning imprinted on the cigarette packs: ''Smoking is injurious to health’’. Nevertheless, they continue to smoke. But if one day, the smoker does begin to suffer from ill-health on account of his smoking, then, the knowledge turns into awareness - through direct experience - that smoking could indeed be injurious to health.

It is either because we lack this awareness or we are unable to translate awareness to action that we commit mistakes.

We should enjoy freedom and be enthusiastic every moment of our lives. Our lives should become a joyous celebration. But normally, you will only hear tales of sorrow. Attachment leads to sorrow.

One of the best ways to attain material prosperity, spiritual progress, peace and liberation is through meditation. Meditation is not just sitting motionless in perfect posture with closed eyes. Maintaining awareness of our actions, words and thoughts is real meditation.

Our thoughts are like countless water droplets that form a river of words and actions. We have little control over this river. It is so strong that it can even wash away huge boulders that lie in its path. However, it is easy to block or change the direction of a river’s flow at its source with just a stone. Therefore, we must be careful with our thoughts.

If there is a defect in a mould, everything that is made from that mould will be defective. In the same way, unless we first purify our minds, our words and actions will not be pure. Therefore, the first thing we have to do is to control our minds through meditation. And through discriminate actions we can become successful in life.

The root cause of our problems is the ego, but the ego does not have any objective existence. Only humility can help us get rid of our ego. When one says or thinks, ''I am the master’’, one is, in fact, becoming a slave to the ego.

The greatest obstacles to enjoying life are this kind of an attitude and self-centered thoughts. Because of this, we are unable to serve others.

The underlying love is the important link that unites society. Today, that link is weak. More and more individuals are isolating themselves from one another. We need to shower love on our children and enhance their awareness at the same time.

A plant in a dark room will grow in the direction of sunlight. Likewise, children yearn for love, acceptance and attention. We should revive the love that upholds family life, social life and nature. Bonding between family members, young and old, student and teacher and between members of society is important to help us reach out to one another, strengthening our links with one another.

Today, stress is common in every sphere of life. This is mainly because we are obsessed with our own selves - we are driven by our ego. Freedom from tension is possible only through surrender to God. He guides us from within. But we do not have the patience to pay attention to that divine voice. Because of this, we keep repeating our mistakes; we experience sorrow.

Arjuna and Krishna grew up together. Yet Krishna did not impart the Geetha to Arjuna during that time but waited for that moment when Arjuna awakened the disciple within him. To be a disciple is to surrender. Then everything in the cosmos becomes our guru. Every experience becomes our guru. But no amount of experience can help us realize our mistakes unless we cultivate and adopt the humility required to be able to surrender our selves.

How the Brain Works to Make Decisions

This is a really good book if you have got the same interest as I in how the brain works to make decisions: How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009).

Here’s what I have learned about the duel between the rational brain and the emotional brain, and how it might apply to sales, business communications and influencing people…

There is a flaw in our thinking habits called the framing effect, which is a part of decision biases called loss aversion. It explains why people are much more likely to buy meat when it’s labeled 85 percent lean instead of 15 percent fat. Also, why twice as many patients opt for surgery when told there’s an 80 percent chance of survival as opposed to a 20 percent chance of dying.

Neuroscientists hooked people up to an fMRI (functional MRI) imaging machine to look at which parts of their brains lit up while making gambling decisions. Here was the gambling game they asked them to play:

Imagine that you are playing a simple game whereby you are given $50 and asked to decide between two options:

1.     All-or-nothing gamble, in which the odds are 40% you will keep the entire $50, and 60% that you will lose everything.

2.     A sure-thing: if you choose this option you get to keep $20.

If you are like most people, you take the 2nd option, the sure $20. Next, they asked people to play the game again. The risky gamble hasn’t changed, but here are the options that are offered:

1.     All-or-nothing gamble, 40% chance of keeping entire $50, and 60% chance lose it all.

2.     Sure thing: but it’s framed as a loss of $30 instead of a gain of $20.

These two gambles are the same, they are just framed differently. In both cases, you walk away with $20 of the original $50. But the different descriptions strongly affect how people play the game.

When the choice is framed in terms of gaining $20, only 42% chose the risky gamble. When it was framed in terms of losing $30, 62% of people opted to roll the dice.

What is interesting here is that they were able to see in the brain: those people whose gambling decisions were influenced by the prospect of losing $30 were misled by an excited amygdala, part of the emotional brain that evokes negative feelings. Whenever a person thinks about loss, the amygdala is activated.

But the others who were not swayed by the framing effect also had activated amygdala, they also experienced negative feelings. They were able to look past their feelings and realize that the options were the same.

What made the difference? They had more elevated activity in the pre-frontal cortex, the rational brain. These people were able to feel their feelings, and choose to ignore them. They were able to make better gambling decisions because they regulated their negative emotions.

How do you regulate your emotional brain so that you can make more rational decisions? Awareness. By simply being aware that our emotional brain is sending negative feelings, we can decide to ignore it. The ability to become aware of our brain’s processes is called metacognition, and it’s a skill that can be developed.

We know when we are angry. Every emotion comes with the ability to think about it, to label it, to try to figure out why we are feeling it. Sometimes a feeling may make no sense, as in the case of this gambling game. We can deliberately choose to ignore the emotional brain.

The question is when to ignore it and when to pay attention to it. We don’t always know or take the time for it. And because emotions can also help us make better decisions, the key is being able to discern.

Adventures in Creative Thinking

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

So the cunning moneylender suggested that they let Council decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you do if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you tell her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ...

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

Moral: Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.

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Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 27 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development, personal development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information, visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.