Leadership Behaviors

Get it right on the inside and you will get it right on the outside. That’s good advice that is rarely followed by today’s leaders. Instead there seems to be a focus on just getting it right on the outside. This can work, but it’s probably leaving your followers feeling a little empty at best—or distrusting at worst.

When leaders focus only on their behaviors and outside appearances, they are presenting a thin veneer of leadership that can work for a short while, but which eventually breaks down—especially under pressure.

Wondering how you can get it right on the inside instead of working so hard to act in a prescribed way on the outside? Here are some ways to get started. These are based on answers to such questions as, “Who was your best boss?” and “What made them so special?”

[image courtesy of integralleadershipreview.com]

See people as assets to develop instead of liabilities to manage. Good leadership begins with a fundamental belief in people and the value that they can bring to a company. Where do you stand on this? Do you focus on people’s strengths and how to maximize them, or do you tend to focus on weaknesses and how to correct them? How does that impact your leadership behaviors?

Assume the best. People have good days and bad days. They make mistakes, exhibit poor judgment, and sometimes let you down. How do you react to these situations? What is the story that you are telling yourself about their actions? Are you assuming they had good intentions and just fell short, or does this just go to show that you were right about them all along? Your resulting leadership behavior will be very different depending on your mindset.

See yourself as a leader instead of as an evaluator. Part of leadership is matching skill sets to the overall goals of the organization. The ability to discern talent and apply it effectively is an important quality. But don’t make that the sole focus of your leadership. Instead, go beyond getting the right people in the right positions and actively work to help them succeed in their roles. See their success as a partnership between you and them. When people sense that you are on their side, helping them to succeed, they act and perform very differently than if they feel that you are primarily judging and evaluating them.

Beliefs and attitudes drive your behaviors. In today’s open and connected world, you have to be genuine and authentic. Leaders who get it right on the inside naturally display genuine behaviors on the outside that people respond to. Take a look at your leadership beliefs. Work on the inside first.

Stages of Training in Dharma

With this article we come to the last and final of the series in Inward and Outward Realities. In the previous article, I discussed practicing the Dharma. Those who practice the Dharma should train themselves to understand in the following stages:

The training that is easy to learn, gives immediate results, and is suitable for every time, every place, for people of every age and either sex, is to study in the school of this body — a fathom long, a cubit wide, and a span thick — with its perceiving mind in charge. This body has many things, ranging from the crude to the subtle, that are well worth knowing.

The steps of the training:

1. To begin with, know that the body is composed of various physical properties, the major ones being the properties of earth, water, fire, and wind; the minor ones being the aspects that adhere to the major ones: things like color, smell, shape, etc.

These properties are unstable (inconsistent), stressful, and unclean. If you look into them deeply, you will see that there's no substance to them at all. They are simply impersonal conditions, with nothing worth calling "me" or "mine." When you can clearly perceive the body in these terms, you will be able to let go of any clinging or attachment to it as an entity, your Self, someone else, this or that.

2. The second step is to deal with mental phenomena (feelings, perceptions, thought-formations, and consciousness). Focus on keeping track of the truth that these are characterized by arising, persisting, and then disbanding. In other words, their nature is to arise and disband, arise and disband, repeatedly. When you investigate to see this truth, you will be able to let go of your attachments to mental phenomena as entities, as your Self, someone else, this or that.

3. Training on the level of practice doesn't simply mean studying, listening, or reading. You have to practice so as to see clearly with your own mind in the following steps:

a. Start out by brushing aside all external concerns and turn to look inside at your own mind until you can know in what ways it is clear or murky, calm or unsettled. The way to do this is to have mindfulness and self-awareness in charge as you keep aware of the body and mind until you have trained the mind to stay firmly in a state of normalcy, i.e., neutrality.

b. Once the mind can stay in a state of normalcy, you will see mental formations or preoccupations in their natural state of arising and disbanding. The mind will be empty, neutral, and still — neither pleased nor displeased — and will see physical and mental phenomena as they arise and disband naturally, of their own accord.

c. When the knowledge that there is no self to any of these things becomes thoroughly clear, you will meet with something that lies further inside, beyond all suffering and stress, free from the cycles of change — deathless — free from birth as well as death, since all things that take birth must by nature age, grow ill, and die.

d. When you see this truth clearly, the mind will be empty, not holding onto anything. It won't even assume itself to be a mind or anything at all. In other words, it won't latch onto itself as being anything of any sort. All that remains is a pure condition of Dharma.

e. Those who see this pure condition of Dharma in full clarity are bound to grow disenchanted with the repeated sufferings of life. When they know the truth of the world and the Dharma throughout, they will see the results clearly, right in the present, that there exists that which lies beyond all suffering. They will know this without having to ask or take it on faith from anyone, for the Dharma is paccattam, i.e., something really to be known for oneself. Those who have seen this truth within themselves will attest to it always.

True Happiness

Happiness, to me is an outward expression of an inward emotion. True happiness is letting the joy, fear, hope, and sadness of life flow from the inside outward. It’s raw but its real and that’s what makes it beautiful.

Our spiritual journey does not start with a clean slate. We carry with us a prepackaged set of values and preconceived ideas which, unless confronted and redirected, will soon scuttle our journey, or else turn it into pharisaism, the occupational hazard of religious and spiritual people.

The developmental character of human life has become much better known in the last hundred years, and it has enormous implications for the spiritual journey. Our personal histories are computerized, so to speak, in the bio-computers of our brains and nervous systems. Our memory banks have on file everything that occurred from the womb to the present, especially memories with strong emotional charges.

We may not remember the events of early childhood, but the emotions do. When events occur later in life that resemble those once felt to be harmful, dangerous, or rejecting, the same feelings surface. The human heart is designed for unlimited happiness - for limitless truth and for limitless love - and nothing less can satisfy. We travel down various roads that promise happiness but can't provide it because they are only partial goods. Since the emotional programs from early childhood are already in place, our search for happiness in adult life tends to be programmed by child-like expectations that cannot possibly be realized.

We come now to the heart of the problem of the human condition. Jesus addressed this problem head-on in the gospel. What was his first word when beginning his ministry? "Repent." To repent is not to take on afflictive penances like fasting, vigils, flagellation or whatever else appeals. It means to change the direction in which you are looking for happiness.

Quantum Leap

If you have ever found yourself looking within yourself (attempting to assess what you need from an insider's perspective, while recognizing that at that moment you sense you are an outsider to your own self) then you might have concluded that, on more than one occasion, you may not know what you need because how can you be inside and be objectively outside yourself.

How can I give up something I love? It's all I know, right? Do I want to let go of something I have loved? No, I can't let go!

However, a quantum leap can occur when you learn to change the phrasing to say, "How can I let go of something I have found frustrating, debilitating, painful, and hateful?"

This will allow you to shift from a frame of entrapment to one of permission - permission to accept the notion that maybe it is okay to "let go" of the past and not shame the identity that was so profoundly attached to you. You can accept your perceived known identity and integrate it with what has not yet been developed. You can feel frustrated, painful, hurt, and angry at a life that did not bring lasting happiness, without causing shame and hate upon your core self.

And so, how can this shift bring a sense of comfort within your soul? Honestly, it may not. However, it may. Each of us is unique, and we each must look inward to look outward, or vice-versa; in order to find what can enable our own movement towards healing. What is helpful for me is to write down my thoughts. As they become written, I become clearer as to my thoughts. But words that remain on paper can fade as time passes. So, for me, I need to speak them outwardly, not just inwardly. My friends listen, and in conversation, my thoughts can be accepted, stretched, or understood. I like to process inside and outside.

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds and bring balance and harmony to your life. Clear out and forgive the memories and energies you hold within you to create a well-being in your inner and outer worlds.

The energy of everyone you have known and everything you have done resides within you. This energy affects your behavior now. It’s part of the filter and belief system that makes up your perception and how you interpret everything that happens to you. For example, if you have been carrying around guilt and a belief that you are not good at intimate relationships because of an event in the past, that energy and those beliefs affect all your intimate relationships now and maintains the perception that you can’t be successfully form intimate relationships. Even when opportunities in life arise where you can be close to another, you may push them away or misperceive their actions because of the energy you still carry with you. You need to clear and balance that negative energy so it can no longer affect your experience of life in a negative way. It’s like clearing away a fog that prevents you from seeing life as it really is. Gradually you get back to your clear, natural state of Love and Joy.

It is your inner energies that are creating your reality. Events in the outer world, our objective reality, are just events and affect everyone differently because we all carry different energy within us. The way we interpret these events, due to our memories, programs and beliefs, creates our inner subjective reality. It is this inner reality that is creating our experience of life. It IS our life. So when we change our inner world, through clearing and balancing, we change the experience of life itself. Our perception changes. We start noticing different things in the outer world and giving them different meanings. This is an amazing thing to know because it means that you can take responsibility for your experience and have the power to change your world. As we all find more peace and balance within, our outer world will become one of more love, joy and harmony.

There is a special underlying formula used in many ancient as well as modern healing practices. It engages the subconscious, conscious and Higher Self all at once, your Whole Self. If you leave any one of these out, healing can’t take place.

Here is the formula: BALANCE = IDENTITY + LOVE + FORGIVENESS + GRATITUDE

IDENTITY: When you first notice there is a problem, you have a choice. You can either engage in the problem and become part of it with blame and thinking, or you can choose to see it for what it is, unbalanced energy, and begin the healing and clearing process. It is a matter of identity. Are you identifying with the problem? or are you identifying with the greater part of you, the Divine part of you that can heal it?

LOVE: You send Love to the problem. You are accepting the problem rather than suppressing it. If you suppress something, it persists and gets stuck. It does not change; it just keeps coming back and bothering you over and over again. Instead, you can recognize that it is just energy within you that is trying to be integrated and healed. Love connects you to your Higher Self / God / Divinity which is the true healer, and, love gets the energy unstuck and flowing. So, all healing involves Love. Healing is integrating and gathering back the unbalanced energy so it can be balanced.

FORGIVENESS: Forgiveness is freedom. What you are forgiving is not that you did something wrong or that the problem is wrong. Nothing is wrong; it’s just out of balance because this energy was created in you through wounding and misperceptions which is just part of the human process. In forgiving you are recognizing that you are responsible for these energies within you and that you are also the means to allow their clearing. So, in evoking forgiveness you are allowing the memories, patterns, and energies to be released. You are done clinging to them and you are giving them permission to be integrated and healed.

GRATITUDE: Finally, a feeling of gratitude for the entire healing process. This seals it.  When you are thankful for something you accept that it has been done and given to you. Gratitude is also blessing and love for Who you are, What you are doing, and the harmony and balance that you have brought into the world through this work.

You can do this clearing process on the go.  Every time a problem comes up you repeat the phrases: “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, Thank you.” In this simple way, you can clear energy and memories as they arise throughout your day. It is highly effective. Every time you identify with the powerful healer in you and not focusing on the problem, you are clearing and creating change for yourself. And remember, if you are not clearing the problem, and you engage in it instead, you are actually making the problem stronger. Energy follows thought.

Any energy in your life that is causing you a problem can be healed and transformed. You can work on problems in a relationship, either past of present, a younger version of yourself, blocks and limiting beliefs, a traumatic event, a physical problem, or an emotional problem. You can transform any problem you have in your inner world or outer world.  As the energy is healed and cleared, your experience in the outer world shifts as well.

It is my intention to help you heal, to bring you these techniques so you can free yourself of energies that no longer serve you, to clear and release them so you can experience your natural state of love, joy and personal power. Blessings on your path.

Interconnection between Inner and Outer Realities

Eastern philosophies and religions advise us to look inward, and not outward, for the reality in which we choose to participate.

There are many things, good and bad, occurring in the universe we physically perceive. Those can pull us up the great heights of expectation, anticipation, and joy. They can also pull us down into disappointment, despair, anger, and illness.

Like everyone else, I struggle — with great difficulty often — to maintain an inner focus and an inner peace. It is not easy because I, like so many others, have become fascinated with the idea of an “I-ness.”

The East teaches us there really is no individual. There is no separation between one thing and the next. There is only continuity. My thought touches your thought, and my actions reach you. Independence is a lie. A total wholeness is the only reality.

It is hard to perceive that total wholeness when we see a world in which our highly evolved (perhaps) brains tell us everything is separate. So in order to see it as it truly is — all connected — we must half-close our eyes to remember that what we see is not the whole story. It is only a very small part of the total reality.

We dim our vision in order to see things as they are.

We go within ourselves to find the peaceful connectedness we so desperately need, that which tells us there is no such thing as a future or a past. There is no such thing as death or life. There is no such thing as here or there. There is only one moment, right here, right now. That is always the only reality.

Our Inner Dialogue Determines Our Outer Reality

I recently got a dose of reality after realizing something I was working on was not working out as well as I wanted it to. There was a miscalculation on my part and I felt the energy being drained out of me. I thought I had everything under control. How could this happen? I am sure anyone who reads this have felt like that at some point in their life. Something happened that you were not prepared for and that you were not expecting. It left you feeling vulnerable and exposed.

For a while I felt drained and I was dwelling in negativity. At first I thought this is really bad and I was wondering how I would turn it around again. But then something unexpected happened. As the emotional charge around the event subsided something really good came out of it. I made a breakthrough on a spiritual level.

I knew my thoughts were important and that my inner reality determines my outer reality, but I could never quite manage to make it work for me. There was always something negative that came into my mind after a while, I just could not keep my inner dialogue positive. And for that reason my outer reality still was not changing the way I wanted it to.

It was only through this apparent ‘crises’ that I went through that I could make the shift in my inner reality. Reading people’s comments to my radio show presentation on the Power of Intention and the related articles posted on Facebook, it became clear to me what was going on and what I needed to do. I now know my outer reality is a reflection of my inner reality and that my inner reality is completely under my control. There is no more looking for excuses and being uncertain of what I want. I was still held back by things in my past and it was that way by choice.

What I realized now is that I can’t change my outer reality before I take full responsibility for my inner world. I would always try to be positive but after a while a small doubt would enter my mind and eventually I would become negative again. But now I have made a clear decision to take responsibility for my inner world and every time I recognize a negative thought creeping up on me I change it to something positive. The confusion which occurred in my outer world was just a reflection of the disorder inside.

When things were not going as I planned I thought it was random and that I was a victim. But I now know that I created it. Because my inner world was random and disorderly the same thing happened on the outside. I finally got it! We tend to think failure is a bad thing but it always comes to teach us something when we are open for it. Failure is nothing but success in disguise. In truth, failure does not exist; failure is when you fail to recognize the lesson that failure came to teach you.