Facts Don’t Change Behavior

According to NIH (National Institute of Health) if you weigh reasonably average, you will likely gain about a pound between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. The problem, as per this study is, you probably won’t ever lose it. Despite the facts, I am going to guess most of you will not follow holiday fitness tips.

When we fall short of making permanent lifestyle modifications, we take comfort in the belief that, if we really wanted to change, we could alter our behaviors.

The difference between change and transformation is what in system's thinking is referred to as the difference between first order change and third order change. The first encompasses mostly changes in behaviors, while third order change changes beliefs, ways of looking at the world, and actions. That is why, transformation is way more profound and encompassing.

This is also partly why so many people don't like transformation. They are afraid it will change them intrinsically. We are always becoming, and the self growth and evolves in relation to others and how open are we to different experiences and ways of thinking.

Transformation requires us to use both our left and right sides of the brain. It's the left side that like to keep everything logical, orderly arranged. Does not like leaps into the unknown. Our more intuitive right side is the one that is willing to question and change. We need both, in order to be able to transform without disintegrating.

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds

Heal Your Inner and Outer Worlds and bring balance and harmony to your life. Clear out and forgive the memories and energies you hold within you to create a well-being in your inner and outer worlds.

The energy of everyone you have known and everything you have done resides within you. This energy affects your behavior now. It’s part of the filter and belief system that makes up your perception and how you interpret everything that happens to you. For example, if you have been carrying around guilt and a belief that you are not good at intimate relationships because of an event in the past, that energy and those beliefs affect all your intimate relationships now and maintains the perception that you can’t be successfully form intimate relationships. Even when opportunities in life arise where you can be close to another, you may push them away or misperceive their actions because of the energy you still carry with you. You need to clear and balance that negative energy so it can no longer affect your experience of life in a negative way. It’s like clearing away a fog that prevents you from seeing life as it really is. Gradually you get back to your clear, natural state of Love and Joy.

It is your inner energies that are creating your reality. Events in the outer world, our objective reality, are just events and affect everyone differently because we all carry different energy within us. The way we interpret these events, due to our memories, programs and beliefs, creates our inner subjective reality. It is this inner reality that is creating our experience of life. It IS our life. So when we change our inner world, through clearing and balancing, we change the experience of life itself. Our perception changes. We start noticing different things in the outer world and giving them different meanings. This is an amazing thing to know because it means that you can take responsibility for your experience and have the power to change your world. As we all find more peace and balance within, our outer world will become one of more love, joy and harmony.

There is a special underlying formula used in many ancient as well as modern healing practices. It engages the subconscious, conscious and Higher Self all at once, your Whole Self. If you leave any one of these out, healing can’t take place.

Here is the formula: BALANCE = IDENTITY + LOVE + FORGIVENESS + GRATITUDE

IDENTITY: When you first notice there is a problem, you have a choice. You can either engage in the problem and become part of it with blame and thinking, or you can choose to see it for what it is, unbalanced energy, and begin the healing and clearing process. It is a matter of identity. Are you identifying with the problem? or are you identifying with the greater part of you, the Divine part of you that can heal it?

LOVE: You send Love to the problem. You are accepting the problem rather than suppressing it. If you suppress something, it persists and gets stuck. It does not change; it just keeps coming back and bothering you over and over again. Instead, you can recognize that it is just energy within you that is trying to be integrated and healed. Love connects you to your Higher Self / God / Divinity which is the true healer, and, love gets the energy unstuck and flowing. So, all healing involves Love. Healing is integrating and gathering back the unbalanced energy so it can be balanced.

FORGIVENESS: Forgiveness is freedom. What you are forgiving is not that you did something wrong or that the problem is wrong. Nothing is wrong; it’s just out of balance because this energy was created in you through wounding and misperceptions which is just part of the human process. In forgiving you are recognizing that you are responsible for these energies within you and that you are also the means to allow their clearing. So, in evoking forgiveness you are allowing the memories, patterns, and energies to be released. You are done clinging to them and you are giving them permission to be integrated and healed.

GRATITUDE: Finally, a feeling of gratitude for the entire healing process. This seals it.  When you are thankful for something you accept that it has been done and given to you. Gratitude is also blessing and love for Who you are, What you are doing, and the harmony and balance that you have brought into the world through this work.

You can do this clearing process on the go.  Every time a problem comes up you repeat the phrases: “I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me, Thank you.” In this simple way, you can clear energy and memories as they arise throughout your day. It is highly effective. Every time you identify with the powerful healer in you and not focusing on the problem, you are clearing and creating change for yourself. And remember, if you are not clearing the problem, and you engage in it instead, you are actually making the problem stronger. Energy follows thought.

Any energy in your life that is causing you a problem can be healed and transformed. You can work on problems in a relationship, either past of present, a younger version of yourself, blocks and limiting beliefs, a traumatic event, a physical problem, or an emotional problem. You can transform any problem you have in your inner world or outer world.  As the energy is healed and cleared, your experience in the outer world shifts as well.

It is my intention to help you heal, to bring you these techniques so you can free yourself of energies that no longer serve you, to clear and release them so you can experience your natural state of love, joy and personal power. Blessings on your path.

How to Succeed Courageously

Hundreds and maybe thousands of books and articles have been written on what it takes to succeed in life. I’d think that it is not as complicated as most people make it. As the year is coming to an end in a few more days, here is my list on how to succeed in life. Take what is best for you and leave the rest.

1. We are in this together! I can’t think of a single “success story” that has a cast of only one. There are always multiple players involved. Each of us brings talents, skills, abilities and contributions to the outcome. Focus on what you do best—know your strengths—and surround yourself with those that are strong where you are not. It takes guts to own your challenges and is a sure sign of a winner to seek out those that bring other talents to the team… be courageous.

2. Actions First… Feelings Follow! If you feel that you are not where you want to be today, take action. Tomorrow will be no different from today if you do the same things you have always done. That old classic definition of insanity comes to mind here: doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. Change happens TO you, transformation happens WITHIN. You may not feel like trying something different, do it anyway… your feelings will follow.

3. You are what you think! Remember those signs in your elementary school hallways: “You are what you eat”? I say, “You are what you THINK”. It’s true that thoughts become things and that whatever you think about most is what is most present in your life. Henry Ford was right when he said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.” Think you can, ALWAYS!

4. It’s all on you! Your life really is yours! You get to make all the choices, you get to choose the cast of characters and you get to write your ‘book’. Just like all stories, though… there will be an end. What’s important in life is not just the journey, but the quality of the journey. That’s why it’s important to make every day the best it can be, because this moment is all any of us can really count on.

5. Be true to you! Take time for yourself every day—even if only a few minutes (10-30) to honor you and show yourself the “love”. For you, maybe its meditation, maybe its physical activity like working out, maybe it’s reading a book or taking a bubble bath. Whatever the choice for you, do it! You must recharge your battery, or you’ll have nothing left to give. You can’t run on caffeine, little to no sleep and sheer determination for long.

6. Back up and Re-group! If you hit a wall, find another way to make it work. There is always more than one way to achieve something. Quitting never wins… perseverance will. Whatever the *it* is for you, stick with it. You may get an outcome other than what you expected, however don’t look at that as failure. You have most definitely learned something and that is a tremendous gift. Remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary… it’s not failure… only feedback. Learn from it! Then try, try again; another way!

7. You’ll pick up what you are putting down! You always get back what you put out there. If you want help, serve others. If you want open and honest relationships, guess what! You have to be a model of openness and honesty. If you want acceptance, then you must accept others. The real power in this ‘law’ is just like Zig Ziglar said, “You can only get what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”

Choose to live life to the fullest every moment. Choose to surround yourself with those that compliment you and give you positive energy. Choose to keep at it no matter the challenges. Choose to treat yourself with kindness and love. Choose to take action even when you initially don’t feel like it. Choose your thoughts wisely, as thoughts become things. Choose to put out there what you want back and choose to live, laugh and love in every moment.

What say you, fellow leaders, what are your keys to courageous success?

The Value of a Coaching Relationship

Sometimes people confuse coaches with traditional consultants. Unconsciously, people ask coaches to give advice. The role of a coach is not to provide answers or solutions. It is to help you develop the potential that lies within yourself, so that you increase your capability to overcome all obstacles and achieve all of your goals.

Sometimes people expect coaches to serve as mentors. They want their coach to go before them and show them the way. However, the coach’s role is not to lead you. Rather it is to help you discover for yourself where you are today and where you want to be in the future. Once you chart your own course, your coach will accompany you on the journey and provide ongoing support, guidance, and encouragement.

Coaching relationships vary considerably. One of the advantages of individual coaching is that it can be tailored to the needs of the personality and the person being coached. Nevertheless, all effective coaching relationships have some common characteristics.

Effective coaching is focused. The coach will be focused on you and your goals. The spotlight will be on results not on extraneous issues. Coaching is not therapy. Your past will only be relevant when it affects your future goals. The coach will be committed to helping you get where you want to go, rather than helping you understand where you’ve been.

The purpose of coaching is not to create potential, as you possess all of the potential you need, but rather to reveal and release it. In the safety and confidentiality of the coaching environment, you will uncover your deepest desires, identify your strengths, and unmask constraints that prevent you from moving forward. Only then will you be better able to take the right actions necessary to achieve your goals.

The coaching relationship creates a safe space for you to mentally expand. Because safety and trust are established, creativity is unlocked, possibilities are discovered, and momentum is initiated. The coach will transparently offer you the benefits of their unique style, skills, life experiences, intuitive sense, and other strengths. Because the coaching sessions will be authentic, they will flow effortlessly and create great value.

Coaching will address and impact your whole life. You will achieve the greatest satisfaction when your personal life and your professional life are in balance and in harmony. The coaching relationship is about listening and responding, not advising or fixing. When you immerse yourself in the coaching experience, creative energy is released and transformation is the results. The pace may seem slow at first, but results come fast. And the results last because they are created on a strong foundation. Coaching will not simply help you solve challenges and accomplish goals, it will transform the way you solve and accomplish them. It will not simply improve your life—it will transform the way you live.

Success is the continual achievement of your own predetermined goals, stabilized by balance, and purified by belief. With a coach’s support, you will set goals in harmony with your values and beliefs and in alignment with your purpose. There is no quick and easy way to learn how to ride a bike. Similarly, coaching is not a quick fix—it’s a process. As you move ahead with your life, testing and measuring, trying and failing, and trying and succeeding, perhaps a coach should be in your corner offering encouragement and support as you discover on your own the solutions to any challenges that confront you.

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Surya M Ganduri, PhD. PMP. is the founder and president of eMBC, Inc., an international firm specializing in strategic and executive leadership development processes that Help People Succeed in an Evolving World. His company is affiliated with Resource Associates Corporation, a network of 600+ associates that are dedicated to helping organizations and individuals manage strategic change, innovation, cultural transition, and goal achievement. Surya has over 26 years of business experience in management consulting, leadership development, executive coaching, process improvements, organizational development and youth leadership. Contact Surya at s6ganduri@eMBCinc.com. For more information visit www.eMBCinc.com or contact eMBC, Inc., directly at (630) 445-1321.