Is Your Best Yet To Come in 2012!?

Have you spent any time thinking about the future, in say 2012? Your future?

Sometimes the demands placed upon us daily take up so much of our time; it's hard to find even a moment to consider the future.

But whether you are ready, or not... 2012 is coming... and fast.

And you are the one who is charged with determining exactly what that future will look like for you.

You live in a fast-paced culture in which everything is in motion. And there are no signs of turning back. Standing still doesn't work, either. At least, not for very long.

So how do we make sure that our rapidly-accelerating lives don't pass us by like a furious flash of un-fulfilling nothingness?

I'd like to suggest some tips that can help, but before you read on, I want you to recognize and remember this...

Your current results or circumstances (that you faced in 2011) are in no way a reflection of what is possible for you in the future.

Your potential is unlimited. And the thoughts, ideas, and plans that you focus upon from this day forward will ultimately shape and direct your future.

Here are some ideas to consider...

1) Stop- First, you need to pause... kind of like how you'd approach a "STOP" sign at an intersection. A brief stop, long enough to look in each direction before proceeding. While paused, take a moment to consider WHAT is MOST IMPORTANT to you at this point in your life. Is it your family? Your career? Your relationships? What brings you joy? What are you so passionate about?

2) Consider some Editing- Then, take a moment to consider, what are some things that DO NOT bring you joy? How could you begin to "edit" them out of your day? Maybe there are some activities or behaviors that are not supporting the vision you have of your highest self? Maybe there are some relationships that you need to extricate yourself from?

3) Commit to Carving- Now think about HOW would you spend more time, TODAY and TOMORROW, doing more of what it is that you want to do? Don't worry about next week or next month. Just consider today, YES! Starting today. No need for any New Year resolutions. Figure out how to carve out a small segment in the next 24 hours. Maybe you could wake up 30 minutes earlier in the morning? Or perhaps go to bed 30 minutes later tonight?

Small, incremental commitments of time, directed toward doing what makes you happy, will have a beneficial effect in all areas of your life. Spending time in this frame of mind will become a habit that will replace older, out-dated, less productive habits.

But you have to get started. You need to actively and intentionally plan the way you want your future to look, in 2012. If you passively stand by, you can be sure that your tomorrow, next week, next month, and 2012 will just become a more distressed and less fulfilling version of the past.

You have the opportunity to shape your future. I don't know exactly what you are facing or what you are going through, but I do know that if you will work at it, and take an active role in determining how it will unfold, certainly, your best is yet to come!

Be creative, as 2012 unwinds in just a few more days!

Happy New Year, 2012.

How to Succeed Courageously

Hundreds and maybe thousands of books and articles have been written on what it takes to succeed in life. I’d think that it is not as complicated as most people make it. As the year is coming to an end in a few more days, here is my list on how to succeed in life. Take what is best for you and leave the rest.

1. We are in this together! I can’t think of a single “success story” that has a cast of only one. There are always multiple players involved. Each of us brings talents, skills, abilities and contributions to the outcome. Focus on what you do best—know your strengths—and surround yourself with those that are strong where you are not. It takes guts to own your challenges and is a sure sign of a winner to seek out those that bring other talents to the team… be courageous.

2. Actions First… Feelings Follow! If you feel that you are not where you want to be today, take action. Tomorrow will be no different from today if you do the same things you have always done. That old classic definition of insanity comes to mind here: doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. Change happens TO you, transformation happens WITHIN. You may not feel like trying something different, do it anyway… your feelings will follow.

3. You are what you think! Remember those signs in your elementary school hallways: “You are what you eat”? I say, “You are what you THINK”. It’s true that thoughts become things and that whatever you think about most is what is most present in your life. Henry Ford was right when he said, “Whether you think you can or can’t, you are right.” Think you can, ALWAYS!

4. It’s all on you! Your life really is yours! You get to make all the choices, you get to choose the cast of characters and you get to write your ‘book’. Just like all stories, though… there will be an end. What’s important in life is not just the journey, but the quality of the journey. That’s why it’s important to make every day the best it can be, because this moment is all any of us can really count on.

5. Be true to you! Take time for yourself every day—even if only a few minutes (10-30) to honor you and show yourself the “love”. For you, maybe its meditation, maybe its physical activity like working out, maybe it’s reading a book or taking a bubble bath. Whatever the choice for you, do it! You must recharge your battery, or you’ll have nothing left to give. You can’t run on caffeine, little to no sleep and sheer determination for long.

6. Back up and Re-group! If you hit a wall, find another way to make it work. There is always more than one way to achieve something. Quitting never wins… perseverance will. Whatever the *it* is for you, stick with it. You may get an outcome other than what you expected, however don’t look at that as failure. You have most definitely learned something and that is a tremendous gift. Remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary… it’s not failure… only feedback. Learn from it! Then try, try again; another way!

7. You’ll pick up what you are putting down! You always get back what you put out there. If you want help, serve others. If you want open and honest relationships, guess what! You have to be a model of openness and honesty. If you want acceptance, then you must accept others. The real power in this ‘law’ is just like Zig Ziglar said, “You can only get what you want if you help enough other people get what they want.”

Choose to live life to the fullest every moment. Choose to surround yourself with those that compliment you and give you positive energy. Choose to keep at it no matter the challenges. Choose to treat yourself with kindness and love. Choose to take action even when you initially don’t feel like it. Choose your thoughts wisely, as thoughts become things. Choose to put out there what you want back and choose to live, laugh and love in every moment.

What say you, fellow leaders, what are your keys to courageous success?

How to Change Things When Change is Hard

Why is it so hard to make lasting changes in our companies, in our communities, in our own lives?

The primary obstacle is a conflict that's built into our brains. Psychologists have discovered that our minds are ruled by two different systems - the rational (conscious) mind and the emotional (subconscious) mind - that compete for control. The rational mind wants a great beach body; the emotional mind wants that Oreo cookie. The rational mind wants to change something at work; the emotional mind loves the comfort of the existing routine. The tension can doom a change effort - but if it is overcome, change can come quickly.

Here is a compelling metaphor to explain the tension between our rational mind and our emotional mind. Visualize a person riding atop a large elephant. They say that our rational side is the Rider and our emotional side is the Elephant. Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reigns and seems to be the leader. But the rider's control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He's completely overmatched.

If you want to change things, you have got to appeal to both the Rider and the Elephant. The Rider provides the planning and direction and the Elephant provides the energy. So if you reach the Riders of your team but not the Elephants, team members will have understanding without motivation. If you reach the Elephants but not their Riders, they'll have passion without direction. In both cases, the flaws can be paralyzing. A reluctant Elephant and a wheel-spinning Rider can both ensure that nothing changes. But when Elephants and Riders move together, change can come easily.

Here is a basic three-part framework that can guide you in any situation where you need to change behavior. In any change situation you need to:

1. 1.    Direct the Rider. What looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity. So provide crystal-clear direction.
2. 2.    Motivate the Elephant. What looks like laziness is often exhaustion. The Rider can't get his way by force for very long. So it's critical that you engage people's emotional side - get their Elephants on the path and cooperative.
3. 3.    Shape the Path. What looks like a people problem is often a situational problem. We call the situation (including the surrounding environment) the "Path." When you shape the Path, you make change more likely, no matter what is happening with the Rider and the Elephant.

I don't promise that making change is easy, but at least it can be made easier. My goal is to teach you a framework, based on decades of scientific research, that is simple enough to remember and flexible enough to use in many different situations - family, work, community and otherwise. To change behavior, you have got to direct the Rider, motivate the Elephant and shape the Path. If you can do all three at once, dramatic change can happen even if you don't have lots of power or resources behind you.

Successful changes follow a pattern, a pattern you can use to make the changes that matter to you, whether your interest is in changing the world or changing your waistline.

FIVE Signs That Say you are NOT Business Savvy

Do you own or lead a business? If so, you will need to do a lot of background work before you can be successful in your professional venture. The very first diagnostic activity is whether you have good leadership skills. Here are five signs that say you should NOT be a business owner – do you recognize any of these as describing you?

1.    Non-existent communication skills – when you run a business you need to know how to communicate effectively. This is the first and the last of not just good but great leadership skills. You need to be a people’s person. If you are a grouch by nature, an introvert, it is very doubtful that you would be able to develop a successful network or a worthy customer base.

2.    You cannot decide – a good businessperson can and is often required to take split-second decisions; hard decisions. Are you good with taking decisions? This is a very important trait among leadership skills without which your business will definitely flounder and fail. If you are an indecisive person, forget about being a business owner.

3.    You are an ‘I, me, myself’ type of person – leadership skills are a must if you want to run a business successfully; and not into the ground. For this you need to have a basic humility about yourself so your employees would feel motivated to work; which in turn, would attract more business. If you are an egotistic maniac, you will not last too long in this field.

4.    You cannot face unpleasantness – possessing good leadership skills does not mean that the path to success is all milk and roses. As the head of your business, your employees and customers would often create unpleasant situations that require confrontations and arguments. Are you afraid of unpleasantness or confrontations? If yes, business is not your cup of tea.

5.    You are not ready to work hard – leadership skills do not come by wishing for it; neither does success. It takes hard work, great efforts and a lot of time. Do not, for one single moment, think that because you are the owner and head of your business you can cut yourself slack. On the contrary, as the head and leader you would often be required to put in double the efforts of others. You need to be disciplined about your business, which in turn will motivate your employees to give their best. If the leader is lazy, the employees will follow suit. The result would be a disaster for your business.

No one is born with any of these leadership skills. The good news is that anyone can acquire these skills. It is never too late to seek help and set yourself up for success.

Thanks-[for]-Giving

How a simple shift in gratitude can make a world of difference?

Here in America, we celebrated our Thanksgiving Holiday last week. The holiday symbolizes the end of the harvest season and is a day of celebration and thanks for the abundance and good fortune we have in our lives, no matter how meager or scarce.

This Thanksgiving, I invite you to take a look at how a simple shift to being grateful for what you have been able to give may be more powerful, creative, and worthy of celebration than merely being grateful for what you have received. In fact, you might even start a revolution that truly brings greater abundance and good fortune to both your life and the world.

I don’t believe that we are automatically entitled to abundance, nor that abundance is something that we can simply wish or believe into existence. It’s been my experience that the world works on a give and then receive basis and that true abundance is something we create and we create abundance by generating value.

Generating value is not rearranging, accumulating, reallocating, or exchanging one value for another. It’s not about taking value away from anyone. To generate value means to create or add new value; value and goodness that did not previously exist. For instance, when you smile at someone or hold a door for them you create new value. When you help someone to learn, to grow, or to unleash their potential you create new value. When you ease suffering or bring a measure of joy without taking anything away from anyone else, including yourself, you generate new value.

Creating value is like creating a new source of renewable energy; once created it can perpetuate and build upon itself. This is the basic principle behind the “pay it forward” and “random acts of kindness” concepts.

This Thanksgiving, and from this day forth, try first being grateful for the opportunities you had to generate value; to make a difference and to give of yourself. Then, and only then, celebrate gratitude for the value and goodness that has come back to you as result of your generosity. If you don’t have anything to be grateful for, go create it!

Just keep asking yourself The Central Question – “What choice can I make and action can I take, in this moment, to create the greatest net value?”

What you may notice is that the more value you generate in the world, the more abundance you experience for yourself.

Imagine if you shared this notion with just one other person and they began to think of gratitude this way. Who knows what might happen. If people practiced this form of gratitude and began to see the powerful connection between the value we create and the value we are blessed to receive as a result, people would be creating value like crazy. I mean, think about it: if you shared it with just two or three people a day, I say just two or three people, and then they shared it with two or three people and everybody started creating greater value. Well, that would make YOU the instigator of immeasurable new value.

Can you imagine if a hundred, or a thousand, or a million, or one hundred million people all around the world were giving thanks for the value they’ve been able to create that day! And friends, that’s what it is. It’s the start of the Gen-V 2020 Revolution. It could create a global paradigm shift from a self-centric mindset to a value-centric mindset and put an end to conflict, suffering and scarcity! And all you need to do to join is to start thinking more value-centrically: asking yourself “The Central Question” and giving thanks FOR giving and only then for the blessings of true abundance that come as a result.

Wimpy Leaders

You cannot be wimpy out there on the dream-seeking trail. Dare to break through barriers, to find your own path. ~ Les Brown.

I have written about bully leaders previously, but I have not addressed until now, the other end of the spectrum – wimpy bosses. While not as obnoxious as a bully boss, the wimpy leader can be exasperating in different ways.

There are numerous characteristics that define a boss as being on the wimpy side, here are six habits that stand out to me:

1. Procrastination, slow decisions, analysis paralysis

I am reminded of the cartoon character “Wimpy” in the Popeye Cartoon, (I know I am dating myself – and as Groucho used to say, “If you are dating yourself, you aren’t likely to have many children”). Wimpy was famous for the line, “I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” That characteristic of postponing things is one of the hallmarks of a wimpy boss. Regardless of the issue, there are some bosses who do not want to face making a decision, so they ask for more analysis or more time. Eventually people get the message that there isn’t going to be a firm answer.

2. Not standing up for people in discussions with higher management 

Another trait of a wimpy boss is that the person will not stand up for people who work for him or her. If upper layers of management perceive an individual incorrectly, the wimpy boss is going to be a “yes man” and not challenge the misconception.

3. Waffling depending on which way the wind is blowing - "flip-flopping" 

Wimpy bosses do not hold firm to decisions made on principle. They bend with the breeze coming from on high and waffle when asked to take a stand on issues involving integrity. They are like chameleons and change colors to blend in with the background.

4. No backbone, does not confront people who abuse 

When a person is abusing other employees, the wimpy boss does not step in with strong action to stop the problem. Instead, problems are allowed to fester and well up because the boss has no strength or backbone.

5. Using Authority instead of Power 

To make up for the perception of being weaker, these bosses who have not earned sufficient power make the mistake of trying to influence others by overexerting their authority. But excessive use of authority can cause employees to rebel in much the same way that children rebel against restrictive parents.

6. Encouraging ‘up-delegated’ tasks 

Too nice is being a doormat and letting people walk all over you. To placate whiny employees and squeaky wheels - primarily because you were too weak to fight for and provide the resources in the first place - you do their work for them or place more of a burden on others. Eventually, everybody is doing nothing but complaining.

What can you do if you have a wimpy boss? That is a really good question, because you are not likely to change this person. The weak habits are a form of self preservation, laziness, or just plain being gutless. No amount of coaching is likely to reverse a lifetime of bad habits in this area. It can be very frustrating because it seems there is little you can do short of leaving the organization.

Here are some ideas that can help if applied with care.

1.    Document your requests and needs well. Don't let things slip. 

If you are reporting to a wimpy boss, the best you can do is document your requests carefully and make sure you copy others, such as senior management or HR in on your requests.

2.    Put a "date by" on all requests and check if late. 

Make sure the need for decisions have a date fixed to them and that a large number of people are aware of the delivery date. If needed, send reminders a reasonable time before the due date.

3. Follow up on all discussions and promises.

Hold the boss to promises made. 

4. Reinforce when the boss does show some backbone. 

If you see some signs of strength emerging, reinforce the boss enthusiastically for taking action. It will serve to encourage stronger action in the future.

5. Gently suggest some leadership training if appropriate. 

Lastly, training can help a wimpy boss learn how to handle difficult situations and also make more firm decisions. You may not be in a position to nudge the boss directly to get some training, but there could be indirect ways to let it be known that some additional seasoning would be beneficial. Each organization will have a different political hierarchy that includes not only the wimpy boss but also that person’s peers, manager, HR, and the Development Group. As an underling to a wimpy boss, you need to be careful how and when you point out opportunities for improvement.

Time to look in the mirror to ask yourself: “Where am I being a Wimpy Leader? Where do I need to be The Decider?”

I would love to hear your stories of Wimpy Leaders – please share in the comments below.

Snow Ball Effect

In many ways, the first small steps you take to change your behavior are the most important. Once you initiate change, it seems to feed on itself, as two psychological triggers are at work:

a.    More exposure effect: The more you are exposed to something, the more you like it. Initially unwelcome change efforts will gradually be perceived more favorably as people get used to them.

b.    Cognitive dissonance: Once people take small steps, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to dislike how they act. We don’t like to act in one way and think in another. And once we begin to behave differently, our self-perception changes and our identity evolves, which reinforces our new approach.

This is what is called ‘the snowball effect’. Changes just seem to take off. They are the result of “small wins” but, not always. Rather, they are automatic forces that kick in as time passes.

It’s therefore essential to start as soon as possible and take advantage of the momentum.

While inertia and the status quo may exert an irresistible pull, at this point you need to muster the courage and just do it. Just get it started.

Ah, yes, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? The status quo feels comfortable and steady because much of our thinking is on autopilot. Routines feel good to us because it frees up our brain for other things, especially creative thinking.

What really helps me to get started when I want to change a behavior is to become aware of how much I am on autopilot. Having routines can be a time-saver since we don’t have to make choices, we just do it. But it’s also what creates rut and stagnation.

It actually irks me to be a slave to my habits (just the ones I don’t like). I tell myself, “Who’s in charge here, the autopilot or me?” If I am more powerful than that, I will actually feel energized by breaking the routine to do something new.

Your first attempt doesn’t have to be perfect or complete. At some point, inertia will shift from resisting change to supporting it, and small changes will snowball into big changes.

But it’s that first effort to say, “No, I am not going to eat that over sized portion on my plate,” that builds the momentum. At the next meal, you become aware of how restaurants over serve their portions (here in the USA), and you start cutting down meal sizes.

·        It’s that first time you respond with a smile to someone who pushes your buttons.

·        It’s when you stop yourself from explaining everything and ask a question instead.

·        It’s when you stop telling yourself you are tired and start asking how you can re-energize your tasks.

When I stop looking for how I can cut corners and make my work flow a routine, and start looking for creative ways to make a difference in the world, then I become more of a change agent.

It starts with the first snowball, and I am the one who has to set it in motion. Then it becomes fun to watch it grow and gather momentum.

What has been your experience when you want to change something?